I know yall are super surprised (sarcasm), but I have a new AU.
It’s another Gwi2jung/jongminkey one.
It’s set in the early 1800s, the vague plot is they’re lesbians who marry and subsequently murder very old very rich men. It’s already posted on my AFF account, but it’ll post here tomorrow. The name of it (on there) is “On Murder and Mistresses”, so on here the tag will be “mmau”
Warnings: some swearing, Jack’s POV (I guess?), my shitty English skills, pre Jack/Rhys or implied Rhack or future Rhack (I dunno, it’s late)
Wordcount: ~1100
So Handsome Jack obviously knows his shit.
If you asked him he would most certainly tell you this (also that he is THE SHIT, but nevermind).
As the self-proclaimed king of Pandora (all hail to the king, baby) he has to know how to handle those around him to get the results he wants. Lies, manipulation, putting the fear of God into his employees, straight up murder are among his arsenal and he uses them daily. Mostly, you know, killing those who displeased him and threatening those who hasn’t (yet, it’s only a matter of time, because holy shit he is surrounded by useless idiots) and occasionally if someone did really good then he graced them with his presence and gave them more work to prove that they weren’t as useless as the other suckers he has to contend with on his superb space station.
Well. The last one was a really really rare thing and usually handled by the lucky cookie’s department heads, but it happened a few times. Occasionally. Once in a blue moon. Eh, nevermind.
So Jack has to know all this shit to be able to be on top of the game where he deserves to be. Not like those Atlas suckers (who got exactly what they deserved) or those S&S Munition idiots who are now also Hyperion property (and going to remain forgotten memories with their shitty guns, who would sacrifice damage and accuracy just to have a few more bullets? Bandits that’s who and remember kiddos: bandits are scum, so if you use their trash instead of the beautiful and mean killing machines which are the Hyperion guns, then you are one of those scum too). It didn’t take him too much time to rise to the top what with his quick disposal of Tassiter, but nobody minds that because in his humble opinion, Handsome Jack is the best thing that could have happened to Hyperion.
Maybe Tassiter didn’t like it too much, but corpses don’t have feelings anymore so who the fuck cares what that douchebag felt.
Or the board of directors that tried to oppose him (or later tried to get in his good graces to fuck him up, but instead they got fucked up as a reward for their ‘service’) and then got slaughtered, but once again, they are dead so nobody cares.
(Where was I going with this? Hm... Oh.)
So he knows people and he knows his people and he knows which of those he employs are the ones that are the most valuable to him. There aren’t many of them, most of his employees are very easily replaceable. It’s one of the perks of being the TOP corporation in the galaxy, there is always a steady pool of hopeful new recruits or brainy nerds or whatever he needs or wants.
So those precious few he actually values are held in quite high regard. He trusts them (to a point), he (occasionally) listens to their input and (sometimes) you can say that he even respects them (or their opinions?). Still he is Handsome Motherfucking Jack so he could get shit done without them but they certainly make his life a bit easier.
(Lesson of this story: never be the CEO of a giant corporation like Hyperion because it’s way too much work kiddos. Also then you might be what some dummies call competition and it’s really not healthy to be one of Handsome Jack’s competitors. Most of them are already dead and buried. Or jettisoned out of an airlock.)
Well, now that I think about it, they are replaceable too but with either great costs or too much time needed or just simple being too bothersome to find a replacement easily. But it can be done and Jack wouldn’t shed a single tear if either of those dumdums bite the dust, but he might become a bit annoyed.
(Shit, why am I doing this again?)
So Rhys! So how does Rhys comes into the picture?
Rhys is Jack’s cupcake/princess/pumpkin etc.
Rhys is Jack’s PA/secretary/gatekeeper etc.
Rhys is also one of Jack’s Enforcers on Helios.
Rhys is one of the few most valuable assets Jack has at his disposal.
Because thin and tall Rhysie with the yellow mechanical arm is one of the rarest beings in the galaxy: a freaking SIREN.
A siren who has been in the labs of Hyperion for years before Handsome Jack came, saw and conquered and freed them from the labs and won their loyalty (and eventually their trust too).
(There’s another story about how Rhys got almost chopped to pieces as a child just to be sold on the black market, how they survived on Pandora with one arm, how he got captured during Tassiter’s reign, what they endured in the labs, how Jack and Rhys met, how they came to an agreement and how they utterly changed Hyperion from the inside out. Also how Nakayama died in the end because he might have been useful but Rhysie... well Rhys would become way more valuable and most people don’t really believe that creep died from falling down the stairs anyway. Risk and reward is another name of the game.)
But... and it a big but: most people on Helios don’t know about sirens. It’s not like Pandora where the residents recognize the tattoos and realize whose presence they are in. So on Helios most of his employees live in their little safe bubble where Handsome Jack’s Rhys is just a pretty face who handles (herds) their boss with surprising efficiency and they don’t know that Rhys is pretty much the (second) most dangerous person on their space station.
They see the tattoos but they don’t know shit about what they mean and that’s why he is sitting in his office where the lovely view of Rhys’ tattoos’ glowing lights up every nook and cranny and he is laughing as his Rhysie utterly destroys the piece of shit who thought to play him and steal from him.
And then the light show is over, the guy is dead, the heroes won again and Jack got his money back. (Also the guy will never again harass one of his assets, thank you very much.)
Rhys dusts themselves off, walks to his desk and perches on it to commandeer one of his screens. Jack rests his head on his hand looking at them, as those long stiletto clad legs swing around a bit while their owner orders a clean-up.
“And now I’m hungry, princess. Let’s go have some lunch.”
It’s good to be the king.
So congrats to anyone who got here, I would like to say that I’m a shitty writer and English is really not my 1st language. :D
Also Rhys is a ruthless fucker in this bc shit happened, and they are genderqueer.
So I've been cutting Jessica Jones intensity with a 30 Rock rewatch and the introduction of Trish's awful stage mother coincided with a Jan Hooks episode and now I can't stop thinking about parallels. I don't know if this means Jack Donaghy is Kilgrave. I don't know what I've done. But can you imagine Jessica Jones as the head writer of Trish's sketch show?
Just forced my best friend to listen to Welcome to Night Vale. Her first reponse to it (the first 3 episodes) was, "What if Cecil is a mental patient and Carlos is his therapist he's in love with?" "What is management are the people in big white coats, and they never open the front door to come into the psych ward?" AU ALERT PEOPLE. SHE'S MAKING AU'S NOW. EVERYONE FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!
what if there were death' or 'dream' ambassadors? You meet someone who has just passed away in your dreams, you meet them in their own little paradise and you congratulate them on their life and what an impact you had on people, you do it on behalf of the living people who can't do this.
(I had a dream like this, where the guy was known for his environmental messages through the art world and I was there with 3 other people I know and wow the location was beautiful. The trees in full bloom, so green everywhere, BUT, there was snow on the ground. It was very very pretty. It was strange because he didn't have a huge impact on my life, but I know he did with other people so I thought 'I'll do it on behalf of them').
Kind of like Inception but with a 'What Dreams May Come' afterlife flair I guess. Like crossing the boundaries of the afterlife just a bit to see the recently deceased off with a good feeling.
