#august2k18

[mish-c]

It scares me so much that when I told you I love you, you mumbled iloveyoutoo back ... What if you’re starting to give up on me too? I don’t want that at all.... 

[mish-c]

Life continues to go on even when you feel like time has slowed down to a sudden stop.

They might not be thinking about you but you are stuck in an abyss of self-doubt and anxiety.

What is the meaning of life when the person you love the most thinks of you as an issue?

You curl up into a ball under your covers, tears soaking your pillow until the sun rises again for it to start all over again. 

[mish-c]

I’m really starting to question if there is something inherently wrong with me ... Am I just unable to make meaningful connections and relationships with the opposite gender? Why do I always do this shit where im trying to cryptic and want the other person to find out whats wrong with me? Why can I simply not just tell them straight?? Is it an issue of pride? Do I not want to come off as clingy?? Will relationships just never work out? 

I hate that at a time like this something that I never wanted to happen has replayed in my life almost as if i’m stuck in some loop of bad fate. Why do I always make the worst decision? Always making life harder for other people ... A friend said that maybe this is a reflection of how my parents’ relationship is and that my problem is rooted to have never experienced a happy relationship in my inner circle ... But it would be absurd to relate my own personality to be based off of an experience right? I don’t want to be affected by the result of a failed marriage. I thought I was going to be happy and considerate, but I’ve just turned into a burden for everyone in my life... I’m so so SO disappointed with who I am turning out to be. I think starting today I need to let things go and just focus on how I am going to be as a person. I am the only one who will stay with me forever. I should be the one who loves myself endlessly and not rely on the words of another person, no matter how close or important they seem to me right now. Maybe things will get better if I simply just become a better version of myself. Maybe I won’t be a burden then. Maybe I can then become a better daughter, a better sister, a better significant other. Maybe I will grow up and act my age instead of being juvenile and naive. Maybe he will look at me in a better life and continue to like me for who I am and not hate me for I’m not. I don’t want stress to turn me into a monster. Not now or ever. 

[mish-c]

i hate it i hate it i hate it

i hate everything right now

i hate that i cant talk to anyone about it

cant whinge, cant whine, cant rant

i wish everything would just go away.... 

[infiniteangel161]

In Jesus' Name. Amen. 💜💜💜 #day240 #August #August2k18 #itrustyouGod #MyKeeper #mystrength #myfaithisinyouGod #IamAChildOfGod #iloveyouGod #IamReadyGod #itrustmyjourney #ThankYouGod #ThankYouJesus #iloveyouJesus #IamReadyJesus #IamBlessed #blessings #destiny #ibelieve #onedayatatime #InJesusNameAmen https://www.instagram.com/p/BnCNSiYDpJJeZ5BQqBWq_h_HzlBBDmO1gYhOlA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ep2lv8fcah42

[mish-c]

fml when you don’t know how to console those who are the closest to you and they have been there for you the whole time and made things better for you UGHHH worst feeling in the world .... i’m such an idiot ughughughughugh