This is only for the time being. This moment of depression will not last. My spirit is much stronger than my physical body, that's changing from being on a high dose of prednisone (steroids). I know am prone to 'Lupus Flares,'from my 'Systemic Lupus Erytthematosus with Nephritis' and 'Rheumatoid Arthritis,' both being active at the same time... I have finally cracked. Though, I have not broke and I will not break- My Spirit Is Very Much Stronger! I have a lot to carry on for; therefore I must keep taking my meds in order to help myself- moreover in order to help others, like I have wanted to my whole life and I have planned in the last year. Sharing my experiences and offering counseling to those with chronic illnesses, mental disorders... anything bringing forth- trauma, doubts, regrets, guilt, agony, despair, grief, abuse, worries, fears, and unworthiness. I need to be my best, for all my future clients and all whom I am meant to help in bringing them closer to Jesus; A relationship with 'The Lord.' I will keep going by my doctors orders and instructions, however I can say it is not going to be easy for me. I do not blame anyone or anything for my journey, nor do I blame myself for getting to this point of illness. I know and trust that I am forgive. I have learned to keep taking care of myself, no matter how hard it gets. I trust my journey; My Keeper God, My Creator, has given me! I am exactly where I am suppose to be, with the people I am meant to be with, and at the place I am; in this moment. I Trust God's Story And Promises For Me! No matter how big my face and stomach get, no matter how much pain I have to endure, no matter if my hair falls out, no matter how dry my mouth gets, no matter how much my hands ache and bones hurt, no matter how many times I need to urinate, or how bad the 'Lupus Braing Fog' gets- then it has already gotten. My depression is brought on by all I have to deal with, my stress comes from my anger and temper, that I am feeling- given everything I am gping through and must go through. My moods, my illness, my insecurities in this moment, me feeling like I am being punished. ⬇️CONTINUED IN COMMENTS BELOW⬇️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B2QD-ewg7Ht/?igshid=7d5izslngulb