#augustcore

[janfebmarg]

[infertiled0g]

Music is a passion of mine ever since childhood, I wish to pursue it. But It has consequences it means I have erase the people in my life now..which im not completely sad about. I hate my family they suck, and they are HORRIBLE people. All my life ive just felt so lonely, no one to count on. All I have is myself. Ive been around the world all across my lifetime, its been hard making friends but since high-school I get along well, but these people they make me dread my life. Everyone here is so brainwashed, racist, homophobic and just weird and fucking dumb, its pitiful. As a 15 year old dude maybe i should find these things normal right? Boys my age are pretty damn fucking ignorant but maybe i believe God decided to not let me take incel route which i thank him for. Don't expect to stay close to people who say homosexuals have demons inside them , entitled Christian is suddenly a pro at judgment, like do you not read your own book bruv? Jesus died for everyone's sins which means if homosexuality is the heinous crime and abomination they claim it to be (love btw) then Jesus who is the son of god has died and paid the price, quite literally the whole point 💔. And dont get me started on the forcing religion on people, i could you on for a whole week about this but I'll keep my peace ✌️

[infertiled0g]

I used to draw alot but I don't anymore. I completely fell put of love for drawing. I dojt know why. I fell out of love with everything. But I want my life back. Im tired of this impending doom and emptiness that claims me every morning I want to do stuff like I used too. I feel like it all went downhill in 7th grade, I was the class drawer and the praise it really boosted my ego, until someone else was started drawing and they were pretty darn good. I had competition and I had to win, I remember vividly when some dude brought his older sister's drawings whom I really got inspired from, cause her art was so cool, someone asked if anyone could draw like that and I said i did, they looked at me like I was stupid which I bet was corny now that I rethink this, but point is why did it seem so impossible for me to even be at her level I could work hard for it.. and i did I was getting good but soon enough it was satisfying me my drawings weren't as good, and I wanted results immediately. At some point i wanted to stop copy drawing, I was tired of just copying images and anime characters I wanted to be creative and free. And this is when the impending doom doubled.. anatomy oh how i hate anatomy it completely ruined art for me as a whole, it didnt matter how many times I repeated a body part it just didnt look right. Never did and I didnt improve whatsoever weeks of tutorials on YouTube Pinterest images I literally sacrificed a school notebook just to try and get it right but it didnt work in my favor never did, and it also ruined my creativity i couldn't draw anything, nothing came to mind and if it did it mever looked how i wanted to. I hated myself, i couldn't draw sinple things anymore when i loved drawing. but I want to start over maybe I never need the damn stick figures and anatomy maybe I can figure out somehow but I want to draw again ive been so dead lately im sick of it.

[infertiled0g]

I definitely know i can make it out i just need to lock in. My dreams are achievable i just need to clear my mind and focus

[infertiled0g]

Lately ive been feeling like shit but I don't wanna get better at all cost.

[infertiled0g]

I honestly don't know how I feel about religion, ngl. I was raised and born in a Christian household, and in my heart ive always loved it until I started growing up. I wouldn't say I had a epiphany or anything but like the more and more I read the Bible the more I realized weird it was. As a guy myself and one raised in a African household the stuff ive had to witness is inhumane, women are seen as tools and to make it worse the women don't seem to mind this fate, the bible says that God created humans in his image and that were all equal but this says the opposite..1 Timothy 2:11-12 says : "Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. If we're being for real right now Christianity or more so religion as a whole has caused the world so much problems, and im saying this as a Christian. The Religion of love but you will NEVER see them loving thy neighbor. Self proclaimed religious people who say slurs at the end of the day, self proclaimed religious people who believe they are better then other religious people. Like you'll see the most horrid comment of all time on TikTok js to see the Christian emoji in their bio 🫩. It gets to a point. Not to mention politicians trying to steal land because it was promised 300 million or whatever years ago, by causing MASS genocides.

Now to talk about the topic we all have debated about for Years. Homosexuality. The bible says in Leviticus 18:22, You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination."

So let's face it, God said it's a sin I mean he burned the city down for it. And I think from then on homosexuality has been seen more on a sexual scale and not genuine pure love. I'll be honest I used to be homophobic , I was a 11 year old boy who obviously didn't think correctly. I remember one day I was scrolling through YouTube shorts and I saw a gay coupleduring pride month they'd been together for about 20 years or something and the caption said "not a phase". And that changed my perspective of things so much, because those guys were happy, genuinely happy like a normal couple, and throughout that time my perspective on homosexuality changed alot I decided to educate myself on the history, and I learned that being gay has been around the world for years, thousands and millions of years the first ever story documented is believed to be one, in Greek stories, in animals, in ancient Egypt, ancient Rome Matter fact the men in Rome hated women so much they'd rather be Gay.

And so I wondered if God called himself love, why was he so against it? I mean God forgive me as I write this right now but he contradicts himself many times in the bible.

Exodus 20:5: "You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God..."

Deuteronomy 4:24: "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."

Joshua 24:19: "You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God

But the ten commandments that HE made HIMSELF says otherwise for the very last commandment out of the ten says : You shall not covet. (Prohibits intensely desiring or being jealous of what belongs to your neighbor.)Then, in genesis he drowns everyone on earth, almost makes his most loyal servant kill his son JUST to test his loyalty,but the 6 commandment says You shall not murder. (Prohibits the unlawful and intentional taking of human life.) I mean who am I to defy or question the lord. I am merely human. But these things just don't click. then you realize a bunch of kings , popes or whatever thousands years ago could have just remixed, scribbled and edited the book to fit their own agendas, and when you think about it, doesn't it make sense? Look at the book of Enoch, which is bet 50 percent of people don't know is supposed to be in the bible was removed because Jewish rabbis and Christian councils it "introduced" doctrines that contradict the Bible, and lacks prophetic authority. Basically it was angels and humans having babies.

But anyway this was js a dumb rant bout what's been bothering me.

[infertiled0g]

Listen dawg if your gonna larp and least do it right😭💔

[infertiled0g]

When in lowk trying to optimize my masculinity so I put some Lana del rey to make me seem dark and mysterious ✌️😂