On Saturday morning during sparring I got my first nosebleed from getting punched in the face (that’ll teach me to keep my guard up, hopefully). I didn’t feel it or anything but my partner pointed it out and I quickly cleaned it up (read: wiped it on the shoulder of Nab’s shirt).
Having not yet participated in a boxing match I am a little nervous about how much damage I can take. I’m not an aggressive or rough and tumble person usually so I have no experience outside of boxing with hurting myself. As such, I’m not totally sure that I am going to be able to hack it in the ring. I know a nosebleed is such small damage but I was excited to reflect on how I coped with getting hurt and I was pleased that it didn’t phase me or effect my ability to continue sparring.
I do wonder where my limit is though. I know boxing is rough and I think feeling the physical impact someone can have on my body and how I can impact someone’s body is really satisfying and invigorating to me but I also believe in safety and I hope I know when to step out to prevent myself from serious damage. I think it’s difficult to make decisions like that when the nature of the sport takes damage further than a lot of others. I also know that the damage I’m willing to take is probably different to others too. A friend of mine who takes a non-contact boxing class with me has talked about how unwilling she is to get hit by another person. Although she loves boxing, her participation in it is more limited than mine. There’s no judgement in that. I think it’s really important to respect people’s boundaries. I’ve also seen Million Dollar Baby and geez that’s so dire (I love how every boxing movie I’ve seen makes sure you know what the cost of a boxing life is). So how much can I take and how much am I willing to take? I don’t know yet but I’m keen to find out.
At this stage, I suspect that the damage I’m willing to take is a lot. Obviously I’d prefer to take no damage but I don’t believe that’s realistic. There is a part of me that I don’t get to feed in any other part of my life that exists and grows and thrives when I am boxing and I believe my pursuit of that will override many injuries.
Some questions that I ask myself:
-would it be worth brain damage or dementia later in life?
-could it effect my ability to have children?
-how would it make my family feel?
-what is the financial cost of the medical care I might need?
-what safety precautions and practices can I put in place to reduce risk?
-what kind of life would I have without boxing? Would it fulfil me?
Obviously I’m getting ahead of myself but considerations all the same. I don’t rely on boxing to support myself so I am in the privileged position to make a choice informed buy these and other questions. At the same time, I’ve found something I want to spend my life doing. I’m sure the weight of these things will change over time. Right now, I consider my first nosebleed a milestone. One I’m nervous to say, in case my coach says it’s not cool, I’m proud of (is proud the word?). It feels like a step closer to where I want to be.
