How much I like it: actual cause of global warming | notp | don’t care | it’s okay | cute! | otp | MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN
"Their" song: Placebo's cover of "Running Up That Hill" or Depeche Mode's "I Feel You." Maybe Gotye's "Heart's A Mess."
…someone should probably explain to them that at least one of these is not necessarily a good thing to have as their song because I don't actually know if either of them gets that because they're too busy going, "but we love each other so that means everything is okay despite our blatant issues right." and just… no. oh, no, babies, no. no no no no no. doesn't work like that. do not pass go, do not collect $200, get yourselves to a therapist like yesterday.
(full size image because tumblr)
Who does more housework: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
…no but seriously, though, Scott and Derek actually remembering to do the housework, that's the best joke I've heard in weeks.
What couple cosplay they should do: …I've actually been thinking a lot about them cosplaying as Dan and Rorschach from Watchmen lately (which is in large part due to how I've been having a Thing and kind of watching the movie thereof… more times in the past few weeks than I am comfortable admitting publicly).
but like… I really wish I could pull off a fusion here because Scott as Dan, Derek as Rorschach, and Kira as Laurie is kind of fucking perfect to me?? …except that literally nobody else fits in ANYWHERE, except for like… Noshiko as Sally Jupiter/Silk Spectre I and Deaton as Hollis Mason/Nite Owl I but… those castings are incidental and I also really don't like them on the level that has to do with my epic laundry list of grievances against Alan Moore and large parts of his fandom.
…so in the interests of not trying to break my brain hamfistedly shoving other Teen Wolf characters into this fusion, Scott and Derek could totally cosplay as Dan and Rorschach. or if we just want to avoid Alan Moore altogether (which is fair enough because Alan Moore), then… Scott as Aragorn and Derek as Boromir. for serious.
Who cried watching Toy Story 3: ……are you serious? they both cried like babies. Scott started it because he's more comfortable with being open about the fact that he cries while Derek was sitting there, trying to be all stoic and crap, and being like, "I must be a big strong man, my Alpha is crying and sad about this freaking Disney movie, I can't cry, I have to keep it together"… and then they just devolved into a clingy little mess of crying on each other and cuddling it better.
Who hogs the blankets at night: they take turns. but Derek does it more because Scott usually prefers to glom onto Derek's body and use his chest/collarbone area as a pillow and affectionately steal his body heat all night.
What they fight about: ……is this a trick question? like? …have you seen Scott and Derek? they fight about everything. even when they basically agree with each other, they fight about everything.
Who has more Facebook friends: lol, Scott, obviously. Derek doesn't even remember that he has a Facebook most of the time. mostly since he didn't sign up for it himself, Isaac and Stiles sort of "borrowed" his computer this one time and signed up for it for him in yet another attempt at getting actual Luddite Derek Hale into the twentieth century.
(Derek: "…this is the twenty-first century. :|"
Isaac: "I know. I'd settle for getting you into the twentieth century. that's how behind the times you are." …this was supposed to be a Parks and Rec quote but I probably butchered it because I can't remember the episode it came from so I can't go verify the actual quote. I thought it was "Smallest Park" with the Tom and Jerry B-plot but I can't find it in that ep and it's frustrating.)
One headcanon about them: …I object to this question because it's really open-ended and I need more direction than this because I can come up with a lot of headcanons and like what do you want from me, ask box meme?? what topic should I focus on?? heeeelp???
so let's go with dmab agender Derek and dmab demigirl Scott trying so hard to do each other's makeup so they can look pretty for Lydia's birthday party… but they keep getting distracted because Scott's fussy and needs to stim so she gets distracted by one of her favorite calm down stims (running her fingers over Derek's beard) and Derek keeps getting distracted because xie puts the different shades of lipstick on Scott's beautiful mouth and xie's just like, "no but we should uhm. test it out. we should test it to make sure it's actually going to stay on all night. by making out. for science."
they do eventually make it to Lydia's birthday party, just… they're like an hour late and as Malia points out before they've even been there for two minutes, they both smell like sex… no, wait, sexual frustration… they smell like they jerked off in the shower because actually fucking meant that they would've missed the party altogether… hey, do they want to talk to her about that because this is really really relevant to one of her special interests and she wants to get a record of it hey hEEY WHY ARE YOU TWO BLUSHING AND LEAVING MALIA JUST WANTS TO ASK YOU INTENSELY DETAILED QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIVES FOR SCIENCE :(