Don't mind me just journaling to try and get some momentum going in my ADHD-ass brain-and-body system.
I feel better than I have for over a week, and that causes me some anxiety as a chronically ill person. But I'm getting used to occasionally feeling better than usual. Sometimes I'm even getting used to it lasting more than a couple hours.
The good news is nothing has to get done today, and nothing is scheduled for today.
That said, I was really hoping to get a lot of digital art progress in before I attempted to go to the comic shop today. Today would be a good day to go to the comic shop, after all. My friend is there all day, and the other guy who owns the store and doesn't like me isn't there today. I don't like him either, so that works out fine.
This is the longest I've gone without going to the comic shop since the day I discovered the place mid-september. I haven't been since before thanksgiving! Previously my longest absence was something like four or five days! Mostly I haven't been going as a result of holidays fucking me up and bc I can't work on my comic digitally while I'm there, and all of the traditional art elements of the current chapter of my graphic novel are completed already.
There's nothing saying I can't go before making progress on my comic; but I really prefer to feel like I've made some progress first.
The problem is when I sit down at my computer to work, I feel this vague but intense sense of dread and difficulty. I'm not sure why. Executive dysfunction perhaps. It's like the feeling of having to pee, but I don't have to pee and also the pressure's in my brain instead of my bladder. It doesn't help that it's been difficult to find a comfortable way to sit at my desk today. I even unscrewed and removed the small drawer that sits under the center of my desk because it kept digging into my belly. I'm glad I have a few skill points in being handy, though I'm not exactly a carpenter.
I guess I do have part of Look Outside I haven't played yet. I found a key to the door in Lyle's apartment. I haven't tried that yet in this run. It might be worth checking out. It might help me get some better momentum and feel more comfortable at my PC . Okay I'm going to try that, but first I'll give myself another 5 to 10 minutes lying here with my heated blanket. There's no need to rush; in fact, my brain needs to learn how to not feel rushed a little more often. The comic shop is always open relatively late anyway.
When I head out today, I will also text my friend Aisha that I am going to the comic shop, and maybe she will stop by since she lives next to it!! Making friends is nice. Also maybe I will finally let those nerds at the shop teach me Magic the Gathering. Gods have mercy on my soul. 😤
With any luck, today I might finally be able to send a draft of my graphic novel progress to my friend Perry today!!! Scary but exciting!!