4. When was one time this past year that you did the right thing, even when it was difficult?
The funny thing is, Mason could think of thirty other things that he’d done wrong in the past year, secretly well-aware of his bumbling and self-serving nature. Of course, career-wise, everything is on the upswing, but personally? Well, personally, he could’ve done many things a lot better than he’d decided.
“Maybe not the past year, but I’m glad I decided to come back to the island,” he answers, a hint of solemnity crossing his usually upbeat features. “It’s always been hard. Just - seeing all of this. The past. My grandpa.” A coffin, for so long, taunting him to open it. “But I’m glad I did. It’s what he deserves.”
16. What part of your childhood brings you feelings of gratitude?
“Having someone that loved me,” he answers. “You know, I probably could’ve just gone into the system, or be raised by a string of nannies, but I had my grandpa. He... did a lot for me.” Swallowing, he feels his emotions swell along with the thought of his late grandfather. “It’s been hard. I mean, eighteen fucking years, and you’d think I’d be over it by now, but I’m not.” And I don’t think I ever will, he thinks. “I wish I’d had a chance to thank him. I mean, I always did, but - but yeah.”
23. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
Is he? Mason wants to emphatically say no — that he’d lived life without regrets, pushing through, only carrying what served him — and yet, all he can think about are the failed relationships in his life.
He’d let go, once. Let Felix fly away to Europe when he’d been so sure of his place in her life, and look where they’d ended up. Now, he couldn’t bear to let go of Summer, who’d seemed to be slowly suffocating underneath his indecisive mind, though he couldn’t bear to see it. And finally, on top of it all, Lex. A divorce that he will not grant her, if only because he thinks — no, knows that something can be salvaged. Desperate for something to hold onto, he only holds on tighter to the things he is sure to lose.
“Maybe some of my old t-shirts in the back of my closet,” he answers, a small grin falling onto his face, though it’s half-hearted and thin, showing only the turmoil he feels inside his soul. All he is sure of is that he is holding onto something. A past love — because when you are starved of it for as long as he has, you crave it with your entire being. Whether or not he will let go, is a different question entirely.
( ft. @felixwrigley, @summercahill & @lexlhartley )
