She's a Soldier

Sierra Blackwell. 36. Hot Mess Express. Bartender and part time painter. "everyone who terrifies you is sixty five percent water, and everyone you L O V E is made of STARDUST, and i know sometimes you cannot even b r e a t h e deeply, and the night sky is no [ home ], and you have cried yourself to sleep ( ENOUGH ) times that you are down to your last two percent, but N O T H I N G is Infinite, not even loss. you are made of the sea and the stars, and you are going to find [ YOURSELF ] again.”

[sierrablxckwell]

char-ainsley‌:

Who: Anyone! Where: Wrigley Memorial High School When: Saturday, April 18th, 2:00 p.m

The last thing Lottie expected to happen was for the power to go out and yet it did. She should have expected this. After all there had been rolling blackouts the last few weeks. This was California after all. This stuff happened. But for the whole island to go out? Now that was surprising. Thank goodness the realtor had advised her to make sure her house was equipped with a generator. Also the book she got on emergency readiness was a blessing. She had everything she needed while this lasted.

She knew not everyone wasn’t as lucky as she was though. Not everyone had a generator or had a kit ready to go. Gathering up some extra supplies, she loaded her car and headed down to the shelter at Wrigley Memorial High School. After unloading her boxes and giving them to who was in charge, she started walking around a bit to see if anyone needed anything. A blanket or flashlight. Maybe help settling in. Anything really. @catalinastarter​

Pink fibres were elicited into a grin, chocolate locks were curled lightly. It had all taken her by surprise, the lights going off. Another one; one she presumed would past just like the rest. Come and go with a blow of the wind. She was making her way around aimlessly, nails digging into her palms as she subdued her fear. Begging not to let it seep past the surface. Because she didn’t know what to do. How to deal with it. She couldn't scream, yell or cry. It was like all that came out of her was silence. So she sucked in her lesser lip, making the conscious decision to keep herself settled in the corner. Nursing a mildly cold hot chocolate when her dark hues settled on the familiar face of Charlotte. “Charlotte,” she hollered, waving at the friendly face.

[sierrablxckwell]

Isabel Meadows‌;

Isabel couldn’t really explain how ridiculous this looked. It hadn’t been that long since she’d been on a bike and didn’t they say you never forgot? She was sure that’s what they said. Give it a couple of minutes and she’d be fine, that was what she needed to remember. “Hot mess definitely sums it up!” she responded, her voice going up slightly at the end of the sentence as she hit a bump and almost fell off again as soon as she’d got started.

Exercise, definitely something that she needed more of, there was absolutely no excuse not to do more of that. “Sure… sure.” More laughter, but she turned her attention to the cycling, winding through the streets of Catalina with a new lease of life.

There were certain things Sierra presumed you were always capable of-– like riding a bike. Yet she was proving that perhaps it wasn't a muscle memory skill. One she was merely winging, ironically like life. “The hot part is key,” winking at the redhead as she gained her confidence on the bike. Yet paying no attention to the parked car as she swerved around it with some ferocity, laughing as she did so. “We’ve got this,” she reiterated, perhaps to help herself stay on the bike. 

“So where should we head to–– the park or by the beach?” she asked curiously as they interweaved down the street, doing her best to hold onto the handles as she sailed past a few more people, offering a wave and a smile at the risk of disturbing her balance. 

[sierrablxckwell]

Charlotte Ainsley‌;

Lottie nodded, “Yeah. My friends joke sometimes that I know four languages. British English and American English. The obscure band thing is one of my party tricks when I’m drunk,” She jokingly admitted. “Brilliant! Now all I need to learn is the local lingo or slang or whatever you call it. Like gnarly dude,” She tried saying it in a typical California surfing accent but failed. Laughing, she nodded, “It’s pretty nice. Actually until recently I was just into the acting part. I’m trying to branch out into directing and producing.”

Sierra couldn't help but laugh, “Well now I need to see that,” she insisted with a playful grin of her own, curls forming a veil over her features as she leaned forward. Her head cocked at ‘Gnarly dude,’ was that American or Australian–– either way she liked the way it sounded coming from the female’s lips. “Not bad,” insisting tone as she grinned. “That’s really cool–– which do you favour at the moment?”

[sierrablxckwell]

Ronnie Conrad‌;

Today would have been an impeccable occasion to do absolute naught. Lounge below the sunlight & loll within the blaze; a satisfying paperback adhered to her slender fingers. However, to much consternation, there was work to be done. Expanded hours, nay sleep, and the devastating burden to eclipse all that she has done before. So candidly, vitality had faltered to an all time flat. Albatross engulfing her customarily optimistic outlook. Lassitude tracking not too far behind.

Had she gone just one more hour confined to set, there wasn’t an ounce of uncertainty that she would have collapsed under pressure. Opting to spend her premature lunch break strolling along the coast. Granting the melody of the tides kissing the sand to mitigate her strained mind & the briny breeze carried from sea to nurse her fatigued lineaments. And surely she would have lingered within her labyrinth of thoughts if an acquainted voice hadn’t penetrated the atmosphere. With furrowed brows, the blonde narrowed her hues on the brunette. Taking a moment too long to register where exactly she’d known the figure from. ❛ Sierra. Oh shit ― hey. ❜ Small talk… wasn’t on her itinerary this afternoon. And normally, she wouldn’t even allow herself to bothered. But, she liked Sierra. She did. So instead, Ronnie offers the woman a cursory embrace ❛ Long time no see, lady. What have you been up to? ❜ She knows she’s skipped entirely over the woman’s inquiry, but she also had no desire to answer it.

There was something beautiful about being able to laze by the sea, the crisp salty haze in your hair, children with ice cream in their hands and dogs running along the edge with glee painting their features. She was a picture of the same, excitement coating her pink fibres, fingers wrapped in a lead; Ripley happily bobbing along with her tongue hanging from her slacked jaw. It was quite a run in, the blonde still looked so similar to her younger self. Yet so different in the same breath. How she had grown into her features. How stunning she was. Though both the Conrads were lovely to look at.

"That's an understatement," she mused in kind, her tone as soft as she was. She was an awkward one, always struggled when she didn't know what to say. Perhaps because she had so many question–– Or there were no answers. How had she been? What had she gotten up to? But the words fell short. The drifted from her like a past memory, instead all she did was inhale a breath for a moment. What did she say to the question–– what had she been up to? wasting her life away in paint and various shade of liquor. "Alcohol and paint?" It wasn't a lie. "Same old–– What about yourself?" not wanting to press to deep. There were certain questions that didn't need to be asked; certain things no one needed to share. It was what she had learned from her friendship with Ava. Sometimes you could just be in someone's company. Not dwelling in what once was–– or could be. "You look good," she added, a glimmer of a smile on her fibres. Stretched out and cracked from the sea air.

[sierrablxckwell]

Elizabeth Kennedy‌;

Her heart is racing, discomfort crawling up her spine, clenching over each vertebra like a vise. The situation’s supremely awkward, but above all, it’s painful, knowing that what she’d say next may hurt Sierra, depending on how the latter feels about her ex. It’s just the way the younger woman is, with her empathy and perception for other’s emotions always taking precedence over her own feelings. “Oh, I see,” she nods, and for a single moment her gaze moves back to Sierra, but they quickly trace back down to her lap. “Um, not really. I guess you’d know that Isaac’s parents — Ben’s stepmother, really — wasn’t really keen on Ben or Ronnie. So I didn’t really meet them until - until this year.” This part’s easy, all factual, sapped of any emotion that is usually lingering in the back of her mind.

But the next is harder, isn’t it? “I - I’m… I guess I’m…” She stumbles over the words, mustering whatever courage and resolve left in her to get it out. “I’m… seeing Ben.” Her word choice is deliberate; seeing does not have the same connotation of dating, but at the end of the day, it’s all the same. Lizzie is terrified to look up, lest she see the face of a woman scorned, or worse yet, in mourning.

Her head moved as she spoke, understanding where she was coming from. She had always worried about Ben’s family, way back when. Her own parents adored having Ben and Ronnie around far too much. Theo adored Ben–– it was a bittersweet memory. The pair had once been a consistent thunder in her heart. Ones that had become disconnected from the mere word ‘no,’ from the fact of all that had happened that year. That disturbed memory. One she didn’t wish to repeat.

 How did one describe it–– that feeling of the breath stopping in her throat. Not because he had moved on, but because she was surprised it was with someone here. That he had perhaps settled down with someone? It was Sierra’s own thought she had never moved on from 18. Her life stuck in that year for far too long. One she was willing her self to put behind her. “Seeing?” she repeated, the question utterly rhetorical as she leaned back. What was she to say to that–– to her? How old was she–– if Cory was...No. None of her business. One thing she was sure of, was how lucky she was, to find someone as wholesomely sweet as Ben. He had been the light of her life all those years ago.  “Good for you...” laced with more abruptness that intended. “Sorry I just––I just don’t know what to say to that.” Her feature laid bare of expression, fingers interlaced with some pressure, turning the tips white. “Suppose that makes this weird... huh?”

[sierrablxckwell]

Paul‌ Matthews;

“Small but mighty, of course.” A nod and Paul stifled a small laugh. Honestly, Sierra’s personality was infectious, so she was the perfect person to share a hike like this with. The weather was beautiful and company glorious, it was exactly what he needed to give him a new lease of life. The wind whistled around them, thankfully not too strong, the sun beating down on their faces. As she showed off her guns, his laughter became louder and he shook his head. “Impressive,” he teased her lightly. “You should remember it.”

When she spoke again, he looked back to her, his brows knitting together for the briefest of moment. “No? I have,” he answered her. “Plenty of people.” His ex had been very much like that, of course, it was how they’d met. She was the one who’d made him love it so much in the end and no matter how things were, or weren’t, right now, he’d always be thankful to her for that and to have brought him this amazing hobby. “I know not everybody agrees with it, but who can say no to getting out and getting fresh air.” Okay, it was a little more than that, but that was the basis, fresh air and exercise. “Mmm, that must be great. Kind of nice I don’t really get that too much in my job, saves me a lot of heartache.”

Sierra thought she was physically fit, she divulged in yoga each morning and a jog before work. She went to the gym at least four times a week. She was getting older, she couldn't just sit at home and hope her skin wouldn't sag. It had to be an active choice. One she thoroughly enjoyed; it helped ease her mind, “always need to remember the mighty bit,” she insisted with a cheeky wink and a bout of laughter, she shook her head at the words that followed, impressed at how relaxed it look. 

She shook her head with a casual shrug to suit. “No, but I suppose in Catalina–– we take it for granted,” she exhaled sadly, she didn’t often appreciate how wonderful their little home was. It was a wonderful way to explore. To get outside and do something new; to feel the fresh air course through one’s lungs. It was exhilarating. “You’re right, not to mention the views,” she added with a glance around them now she had recovered from her breathless, red state. Albeit, still somewhat red. “Honestly, sometimes I would gladly swap with you, It’s more just... awkward.”

[justanotherrpmeme]

bold which habits your muse has

[sierrablxckwell]

crookedwrites‌:

nail biting | throat clearing | lying | interrupting | chewing the ends of pens | smoking | swearing | knuckle cracking | thumb sucking | muttering under their breath | talking to themselves | nose picking | binge drinking | oversleeping | snacking between meals | skipping meals | picking at skin | impulse buying | talking with their mouth full | humming/singing to themselves | chewing gum | leg jiggling | foot tapping | hair twirling | whistling | eye rolling | licking lips | sniffing | squinting | rubbing hands together | jaw clenching | gesturing while talking | putting feet up on tables | tucking hair behind ears | chewing lips | crossing arms over chest | putting hands on hips | rubbing the back or their neck | being late | procrastinating | doodling | shredding paper | peeling off bottle labels | forgetfulness | running hands through hair | overreacting | teeth grinding | nostril flaring | slouching | pacing | drumming fingers | fist clenching | pinching bridge of nose | rubbing temples | rolling shoulders

[sierrablxckwell]

Axel Levesque‌;

Axel nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with the first song on her list. He loved Oasis but damn, people really had found a way to make the song almost unbearable. “Sometimes I think Wonderwall is the one song that every human on this planet knows. I can’t listen to it now without thinking of the many ways it’s been ruined to me.” He took a sip of his drink, but no amount of alcohol could erase those renditions. He can’t help the groan that escaped past his lips when he saw both songs already written out on the sheet. “Can’t people realize that they sound like screaming goats when they sing Zombie?” he mused with a shake of his head. He looked at some of the other songs on the list, rolling his eyes at the sight of one song. “Don’t Stop Believing,” he said, pointing out at the song. “I knew someone was going to put us through that torture.”

Some songs were wonderful. Perhaps the year they originated when a million people didn't decide they needed to do their own rendition of the classic songs. It became repetitive and old, songs lost their pizazz.    “Yeah–– it’s not got that feel good anymore, has it? It’s been over done, over played,” Sierra shrugged her shoulders casually, as she glanced back to the list of songs, it was always the same songs. The same tasteless motions that she went through each week. “Exactly! You have to have a certain type of voice to be able to pull it off–– not a raging alcoholic,” she exhaled, exasperated as the songs were queued up to go. “Oh lord,” she muttered under her breath, tapping her fingers on the piece of paper. “Wonder if they’ll make it unique–– or scream the chorus like usual.” Her shoulders shrugged. “At least they love it,” she offered the consolation with a grin.

[sierrablxckwell]

Elizabeth Kennedy‌;

It’s right then that Lizzie’s heart jumps to her throat — that’s where she’s heard the name from, not as a half-remembrance from when she’d hung around Cory, a name whispered in the dead of the night, from their lover, past and present lost to the white noise. Five seconds of the inability to breathe, suffocating at her realization of their common thread before she opens her mouth. Her hand is trembling, for absolutely no reason; why does she feel threatened, when they’ve been broken up for so long —

“Oh.” It’s the only thing she dare say right now, as if another utterance would break the fragile peace between the two, sunny skies making way for dark, thunderous clouds. And that’s the thing — in her softness and empathy, she is terrified to admit that she’s in love with her ex, no matter where they’d landed in the past. “Oh — um. Yeah. I do know Ben, actually.” Lizzie attempts a smile, though it’s as shaky as her hands, so she stops, eyes down on her lap instead. “Do you — do you still talk to him?”

The reaction in her features says a lot, a ghosting of shock was it? The surprise of something perhaps she didn't want to hear? she wasn't sure, she couldn't place it. Nevertheless, the sinking feeling in her stomach didn’t sit well with her. Taking in the other woman for a moment, searching her hues or some kind of answer.

“Oh?” it was a question–– seeking no real answer. “Oh,” again. She knew Ben too. Obviously, since she had dated Isaac. She figured she knew Ronnie as well. What a peculiar connection to have to someone. What an uncomfortable one. “Because of Isaac?” She asked curiously, not wanting to push the boat. Unless there was something she was missing from the evident uncomfortableness coating every inch of her. “I erm––I hadn’t in years. I saw him the other night, outside work.” It was a quiet admission, it had been awkward, her skin felt like it was tingling in shock. Palms numb.  “Are you two close?” she couldn’t help the curiosity, perhaps because Lizzie was asking quite so many questions.

[sierrablxckwell]

Miriam Nores‌;

Miriam gives a whistle when her bright, mossy hues zero in on the glass that her bartender intends to use for the drink. ❝ Is that for me ? ❞ She exclaims with clear excitement. Miriam was used to her drinks being HALF that size. Damn. It looks like Catalina isn’t going to be an all that bad move in the slightest. ❝ Yeah, - Snapchat! ❞ She answers, her voice rising a few octaves in slight surprise that someone didn’t know what the social media platform was. ❝ You know, the pointless, but very fun photo and messaging app with a lot of cute, silly filters? ❞ The hostess from Whispers sets her gaze back upon the group who was getting ready on beginning to shuffle onstage. ❝ I’m thinking about making one of the dudes an alien once he’s singing or maybe a baby… What do you think? ❞ Miriam looks back at the bartender with sincere curiosity woven in her features. ❝ Oh no, ❞ She groans with the scrunch of her freckled nose while pulling out a few loose dollars, plus a decent tip from her purse and setting it on the counter for the other woman to take. ❝ Not Queen Whitney. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the second-hand embarrassment when it comes the time to watch middle aged men desperately trying to hit those high notes… Or just any notes. ❞ With a deep, nervous chuckle, Miriam shakes her head. ❝ I’m not here to make an entrance. I’ll happily observe from a distance while sipping on this fabulous tasting  drink. ❞ The sad thing was that Miriam desperately wanted to go up on the small stage and rock everyone’s world, though unfortunatly, it was really best for Miriam to not bring a lot of attention to herself right now. Or ever while she’s here in Catalina. As per told by Ricardo… ❝ That name has absolutely no ring to it! ❞, she laughs with the soft shake of her head. ❝ I guarantee you mine sounds a lot better. – - It’s Miriam, nice to meet you, Sierra. ❞ 

Sierra's tongue swept her dry lips, a curious gaze settling on the brunette, giving a small nod of her head as she listened to her talk. “Huh,” though it came out more of a hum then an actual word. “I’ve never just–– thought to download it? I just send my ugly and funny photos over text?” you could hear the confusion lacing her tone thickly. “Wait,” her palm held up as she leant over the bar, with a bit of a jump. Her body too short. It was like she was a pocket rocket. “How do you make someone an alien?” she asked, completely and utterly flabbergasted by the fact you could change someone into something else. Grasping the dollars with calloused fingers as her features creased with a wince. Showing her age moreso than usual. “I think you should cheer them on, be their biggest support act. That’s what I do,” Her laughter was half hearted but she couldn’t imagine working up the energy and courage to climb onto that stage to have no one cheer for you ; to bat your corner. So she swayed behind the bar, calling out the lyrics and cheering on each act. Even if they were far and few. “Well you can keep me company then,” a charming wink and a goofy grin to accompany it. “Maybe next time?” she enticed, hoping one day she would want to get ip and sing. “I’m glad you like the drink though,” fluttering lashes and a ghost of an obnoxious smile. “Miriam–– it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she greeted with an extended hand. “It is a lovely name, rolls right off the tongue. 

[sierrablxckwell]

Bryce Nichols‌;

“Ripley.” He cooed the name as he dropped to his knees, the dog happily accepting the pets, tail wagging wildly. Nothing could reduce him to a baby-talking idiot quite like an excited dog. He remained there a moment, scratching and patting and laughing before he pushed himself back up to his feet. He at least had the decency to look a little sheepish. “I’ve always wanted a dog, I just don’t have the time. Gotta get it in where I can, you know?”

Now that he was standing before her, he slipped his hands into his pockets and let his traveling eyes wander. He hadn’t stopped to admire her before he’d been rolling around the sidewalk with her dog, but he was appreciating her now. Sun-kissed skin and deep brown eyes met him. He pulled a hand free from his pocket and held it out to her. “I’m Bryce. I probably should have done that before I threw myself at your dog. I promise I’m usually more well trained than that.” 

Sierra loosened her leash as she watched him interact with the dog, a soft hum of laughter peeling from her lips. “She’s a sucker for attention,” the woman admitted with a half hearted shrug. She offered the bag of treats from her pocket, watching wag her tail madly at the fact someone wanted to give her even more love and affection. “Yeah I get it–– they’re a big responsibility, I just couldn’t say no,” she sighed, the Dalmatian with her heart shaped nose spots. “She’s got this look in her eyes that just makes you fall in love.”

He was handsome, bright blue hues and a charming smile on his features, a glow on his skin. “It’s lovely to meet you Bryce–– I’m Sierra,” lightly speaking as her hand shook his, a firm but gentle grip her father had always taught her. Her tongue swiped her lesser lip as Ripley practically sat on his feet, tail still wagging at an unnatural speed. “It’s all good, she’s a looker,” her tone insisting as she scratched the dogs head. “I’d have thrown myself at this babe too.”

[sierrablxckwell]

Ella Vandertrap‌;

Ella smirked, as she leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. She took a satisfying sip, and set the glass down. She had a newfound appreciation for the woman before her, and she didn’t even know her name. “I’m Ella. Lovely to make your acquaintance.” This bartender wasn’t like the others she knew, she could tell in an instant. “I only speak the truth,” she all but purred. Inhibitions could settle in at a later date. Ella loved to flirt, and loved to see a reaction. “If I were to sing you a song, would you have any requests? I want to make it perfect.”

Sierra chewed on the corner of her lesser lip. Revealing her pearly whites, swirling her drink in her fingers as she did so. Glancing down to the weird concoction, she had made earlier in her shift. It was essentially fruit, soda and alcohol she couldn’t recall. “Lovely to meet you Ella,  I’m Sierra,” introducing softly, admiring her new glamorous friend. “Well aren’t you the sweetest,” her voice a purr, as sweet as honey. resting her chin on the palm of her hand. “Hmm any song?” she mulled over her choice for a moment. “What about –– Nights In White Satin By The Moody Blues?” she offered the suggestion, curious to see her reaction to her choice.

[sierrablxckwell]

                –– - Held breaths, clasped hands. The rain drizzled down heated cheeks as they game played. Pulse racing as they got to the last try. “They need one more touchdown to win,” an echo of screams and cheers echoed the field. Thunders of encouragements filling the energy around them. “Go Ben!” her throat scratching as she yelled, like she was aiming to be the loudest person there. She wanted everyone to  how proud; how excited she was. Scraping back wet locks as the tension held the air. Erupting screams shattering it as they won. Heavy, fast steps carried her towards him. Arms outstretched, wonky grin, “you did it!” Excitement lacing her every fibre, lips smushing. “Celebratory burger with Rory, Nadia and Ava?”                               FEAT – @benjaminconrad

[maclexa]

uhm…no thank you

[sierrablxckwell]

Feat; @roryhirsch​

[sierrablxckwell]

              –– - It was a weekly ritual. Finish cheer practise and race back to her parent’s place. The warm scent of freshly baked brownies and spaghetti bolognese filled the house. The low hum of trumpets and soul, her house vibrating with soft singing, paint splayed walls and her brother playing his video games obnoxiously loud. Her mother loved Ava as much as the young girl did. Feet thundering up the stairs, cheer skirts bouncing as they did, pom pom’s ruffling out the edge of her backpack. “What are we going for–– Hanson, Spice Girls?” she quipped, cocking her head in her ridiculously high pony tail. “Or ––Movie,” she yelled, a decibel too loud and slightly too excited. clapping her hands together. Disappearing for a fleeting moment, she reappeared with two brownies and drinks. “Get y’self ready for the ultimate movie night.”                            FEAT –– @avahalliwell

[sierrablxckwell]

Repent, Lamb, Hot cross buns (ava)!

Hot cross buns - name three things that you like and dislike about my muse. 

“Where do I even start?” she joked, the corner of her lips curling into a smirk. “I love everything about that girl–– but if I had to narrow it down to three? I would say her love for horror movies. Her choices of food and alcohol, it’s a very important quality to have, being able to pick good food. Ava’s personality, she always makes me laugh and really no man could ever compare,” her tone laced with humour. “Dislike? I could never,” shaking her head. “Maybe that she always looks good. And I mean like. Always.”

 Lamb - if you could have only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

answered here! 

Repent - what is one thing you wish you can have a do over?

answered here!

[sierrablxckwell]

kites, candle & resurrection

Kites - if you could travel to anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

“I’d take anywhere,” shrugging her shoulders with a carelessness. “I would love to go to Greece thought, turquoise waters, beautiful houses, incredible food and a new culture to learn all about? What doesn’t sound dreamy about that.” 

Candlelight - do you sleep with lights on or off?

answered here!

Resurrection - have you ever had a near-death experience?

Sierra laughed at the question, bobbing her head slightly. “Me and my brother used to ride mattress’ down stairs and we decided to go on our backs, head first,” wincing mildly, the woman shook her head. “I smacked my head and hurt my neck pretty bad. Theo gave me ice cream, hugged me and kept me quiet so our parents wouldn’t yell.” Ironically it was one of her better memories. “That’s probably as close as I’ve got.”