#avapost

[avaisautistic]

Honestly, I don’t think autistic people are bad at small talk; I think it’s that we don’t need it.

The point of small talk is to judge whether or not you vibe w/ someone without having to be direct about it and thus risking hurting their feelings.

But autistic people don’t need that. We’re naturally wired to take people as they are and be honest about what we think & feel, and we tend to prefer the same from others.

So our struggle with small talk isn’t because we’re lacking a necessary skill, it’s because the skill is irrelevant to our natural social experience.

[avaisautistic]

For all autistic people who need to hear this: Your natural abilities are good enough. The things that come easily to you are good enough. You don’t have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone to be good enough. A truthful representation of who you are and where you’re at will always be better than an attempt to overcome yourself. You are good enough as you are. I promise. Even when the entire rest of the world seems to disagree, you are good enough.

[avaisautistic]

I am so sick of accidentally getting into arguments when I’m just trying to understand :(

[avaisautistic]

Allistics: Autistic people are deficient in “theory of mind,” meaning they struggle to conceptualize other people having distinct, separate perspectives from their own.

Also allistics: Why don’t you understand what my vague, ambiguous, elaboration-less sentence is supposed to mean? I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you, it’s just common sense.

[avaisautistic]

Me: *reading through autism traits list*

List item: Detail-oriented, in many senses of the word

Me: Of the “word”? Like, one word? Huh, I guess it is one word, since it’s hyphenated. But it doesn’t sound grammatical when you say it out loud. Maybe they should’ve just said “term” instead. Hey wait a minute

[avaisautistic]

Anybody else struggle with translating your thoughts into understandable human words? I hate that it takes me so long to do it that 80% of the time by the time I’ve managed to form a sentence in my head the conversation has already moved on from the topic

[avaisautistic]

EDIT: Please read the reblogs

As an autistic person, I really hate the “autism is a disability” narrative.

I get why people use it, to justify their differences as inherent to their biological makeup and not just a personal choice, but that makes me sad — can differences not be biologically inherent without being a disability?

In today’s world, aspects of autism can certainly be disabling. But personally, I don’t consider myself at all disabled by my autism, because it doesn’t get in the way of me living the life I want to live. I socialize exactly as much as I want to. The people around me support my special interests. My sensory sensitivities only come up occasionally and are easily remedied when they do. Hell, on a daily basis, I’m more disabled by my allergies.

Is my experience common? No. Am I incredibly lucky? Yes. But what exactly is the lucky part? The specifics of the way my brain is wired?

No. The lucky part is my environment.

My family is open-minded and understanding. My parents have enough money to support me without me having to get a job. I have the time and freedom to get to know my own needs and plan accordingly. 

And that’s really all it takes for me to live the life I want to live.

It might sound like I’m gloating here, but that’s not my intention at all. What I’m trying to say here is, disability is a social construct. It’s entirely dependent on a person’s circumstances and environment. If I lived anywhere else with anyone else, life would be a hell of a lot harder for me. And what this means is, disability is not an immutable fact of life. It’s an active process — a disabled person is actively disabled by the world around them. Autistic people don’t disable society; society disables autistic people.

I just want other autistic people to know that an experience like mine can and does exist. If you have to leverage your disability status against people who otherwise won’t listen to you, that’s absolutely valid. But I just want you to know that being autistic doesn’t make you broken or incompetent, and it doesn’t make your experiences less valuable than anyone else’s. The way your brain is wired to operate is a valid way of life, and it’s society’s fault you don’t have full access to that life, not your brain’s.

[avaisautistic]

Communication pattern I’ve noticed:

Allistic person: You should do/stop doing [thing], it would be better for you because [reason].

Me: Oh that’s okay, I actually don’t mind [reason]!

AP: Wtf what’s wrong with you

Me: Idk, I guess I’m just more comfortable that way because [explanation].

AP: Ok well [thing/lack of thing] actually causes [problem] [problem] and [problem] for me and the other people around here, so

Me: ????? Why didn’t you tell me that first??? Now I feel like an asshole when meanwhile I would’ve been more than happy to accommodate you without question if I’d known there was an issue ???????