4 AND 18 FOR DARK X READER MY DEAR!
4: Excuse me—where is my Christmas kiss?
18: Merry Christmas, motherfuckers!
From this prompt list.
Me? Finally finishing up some requests? More likely than you’d think. Thanks @avenged-nightmare and sorry it took ten years.
This seemed like potential for absolute ego shit-show content so sign me UP. Also, something about Dark saying “motherfuckers” just doesn’t compute in my brain as believable but GUESS WHAT.
Warnings: Cursing, alcohol consumption.
Darkiplier x reader
The night had finally come, and it was all the chaos you’d expected it to be, and then some.
Getting all the egos together outside of a meeting wasn’t always an easy task, but somehow you, with your best friend Wilford at your side as your co-conspirator, had made it happen just in time for the holidays. A Christmas party to end all Christmas parties, Wilford had exclaimed in excitement once the plans had been finalized.
You’d basically had to pry his gun from his flailing hands, and the party was still weeks away at the time.
Now it was here, and in full swing. The music, the drinks, the Christmas cookies and other treats, decorating the massive tree in the lobby, party games and catching up with each other’s lives…there was a lot going on, all the more fun to be had around every corner of the house.
Well, almost.
Dark had yet to show, to your disappointment. Not that you were really, truly expecting him to make an appearance…but deep down, you’d hoped just maybe he’d come out of his damned study for the night, at least for you. But there was no indication of his appearance any time soon.
The thought occurred to you halfway through a card game with Wilford, Illinois, and Bing. Your head foggy from champagne and whatever else you’d been drinking throughout the night, you suddenly stood up from your spot on the couch and glanced over to the staircase leading up to the long hallway where Dark’s study was located.
“Hey, I’m gonna go talk to Dark,” you stated, finally pushing your hair away from your face.
“That miiiight not be the best idea…” Bing started, but you ignored him, completely abandoning the game and making your way up the stairs, both hands grasping the railing so that you wouldn’t lose balance as you climbed to the top.
Dark’s study was silent, however the thudding of music and shouts and laughter from below were creeping in through the floorboards, to Dark’s dismay.
He was reading from a stack of papers on his desk when he heard your sporadic, somewhat aggressive knocking on the door. He let out a long sigh, but didn’t bother to look up until you had decided to just let yourself into the room.
Normally, someone coming into his space uninvited would result in serious consequences, but he made exceptions for you. Only you.
He could have gone, however, without seeing you in your current state. You stumbled in wearing a god-awful red and green fuzzy sweater and reindeer antlers haphazardly stuck onto your head, while still carrying the glass that had only briefly contained some sort of strong alcoholic beverage.
“y/n…” Dark started, but you held up a hand to silence him. Which, oddly enough, he did not protest.
“Excuse me, mister—” you slurred, stepping toward his desk. You sat down on the edge, plopping down the glass in your hand and leaning forward to meet his eyes, your face only inches from his. “Where is my Christmas kiss? And why won’t you come downstairs?”
Dark pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes with a sigh. “y/n, how much have you had to drink tonight?”
“Well, you’d know if you would have been spending the evening with me instead of—“ a hiccup and a dismissive wave of your hand, “whatever you’re doing up here.”
Dark swiped the champagne glass away from your arm’s reach when you almost knocked off his desk, and held it between his fingers. You tried to meet his stare again, but you couldn’t figure out which set of eyes you were seeing were the real ones at first. He was silent, unmoving.
“You’re such a fucking grinch,” you finally muttered, easing yourself back up off the desk and into a standing position, although you kept your hands on the desk.
“I don’t know what that means,” Dark replied, his face falling flat, “But I’m assuming you’re insulting me.”
“Whatever, Dark, have fun by yourself.” You turned and made your way toward the door. Just before your hand touched the doorknob, you looked back at him.
“You know, I gave up a lot to stay here with you. You could at least try to respect the things I miss.”
Dark made no effort to respond as you slammed the door shut. You stumbled your way back down the stairs, and found Wilford waiting for you at the bottom.
“Didn’t go well, huh?” he asked, noticing you suddenly rushing to wipe away the fogginess that had formed in your eyes as you reached the bottom steps. He laid a hand on your shoulder to steady the both of you once you landed from the final step. You knew it was just…Dark could just be that way, but the fuzziness in your brain was making your emotions all wonky.
“No, not exactly,” you replied quickly with a shake of your head, suddenly more agitated than sad. “Screw him anyway. Wanna get back to our game?”
Wilford grinned nervously, looking toward the next room over. “Well, we COULD, but…"
His voice was quickly drowned out by the sound of the music in the house getting significantly louder, and a very distinguishable singing voice rising over all the others. When the first “youse” sounded through to the foot of the stairs, you rolled your head back and groaned.
“You gotta be kidding me…”
“We held it off for as long as we could…” Wilford sighed, but you both soon burst into fits of laughter. Yancy was at it again.
“Dammit, let’s just go see what kind of disaster it turns into this time,” you resigned, walking into the next room alongside Wilford, who was yanked away from you by one of the other egos before you could blink. You shrugged and weaved your way through to the kitchen to find the nearest bottle of something, anything. You sighed shortly as you popped off the lid of an unopened beer on one of the long countertops and took a long sip of whatever happened to be inside. You stopped briefly to talk to Eric, who had decided he was perfectly okay with not leaving the kitchen at all and just making sure everyone got some Christmas cookies, and maybe some water every now and then…? D-don’t you think that’s a good idea, y/n?
You hung around Eric a bit longer, his demeanor a pleasant contrast to whatever the hell was going on in the main room. So much dancing, so much sound, so much excitement…and suddenly you weren’t feeling up to any of it any more.
You were leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed, smiling as you listened to Eric tell you a story about a past Christmas with his brothers, when suddenly he fell silent, his eyes locked on something, or someone, over your shoulder.
“H-hey, ahh, hi, Mr. Dark!”
You spun around to find Dark standing in the doorway to the kitchen, the air growing colder around you at his presence. He was no longer wearing his jacket and tie, but stood as straight, stiff, and as regal as he ever did in your eyes.
“What.” You spat your demand. Eric suddenly found something very important to do in the dining room and scuttled away, wanting nothing to do with whatever was going to happen between the two of you.
Dark’s eyes were like magnets, pulling you in with no choice but to stare back at him, as much as you didn’t even want to look in his direction in that moment. His arms folded over his chest and he let out a short sigh.
“You really like this sort of thing?” he asked, his voice low.
You shrugged, taking a sip of your drink. “I enjoy being with my friends, with people I care about. They all…make me feel like I have a family again. Like I can forget about reality for a while and just…be happy.”
Dark’s eyes dimmed, his head lowering although he didn’t break eye contact. “I don’t make you happy.”
“I didn’t say that,” your voice rose slightly, revealing your desperation. Dammit. You quickly huffed and rolled your eyes. “I mean, you’re not exactly winning any brownie points tonight, that’s for damn sure.”
You knew it wasn’t fair, wasn’t fair to treat him like this, it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t feel things the way he should anymore. That he had to re-learn so much from a life he had long before, a past that he could never get back. So much had been taken from him, too.
“Don’t you remember what it’s like to just…have fun?” you finally asked. A dangerous question, asking him about remembering.
He was silent a moment longer, studying you, considering. Your heart had picked up its pace. You immediately wanting to take it back, but your mouth wouldn’t form the words. You started to shake your head, taking a step towards him, silently pleading he’d just forget it and go back upstairs, you could talk about it in the morning—
Dark hummed lowly, uncrossing his arms and dusting himself off before you could reach him. You stopped the second he moved, now only a couple feet away from him, your bones like ice.
He slowly reached for you, his hand gently cupping your cheek. His thumb glided along your skin like a whisper. He closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. A low, deep, rumbling sound came from him, something so unusual you almost jumped from his touch. Was that…was he…laughing? Maybe more of a chuckle, but…oh, he was.
“You are poisonous, y/n…in all the ways that I think I need sometimes.” His hand dropped to gently rest on the back of your neck, urging you closer. In a haze you followed the pull, closing the gap between you and allowing his lips to press softly against yours. Short, simple, but spreading warmth through your entire body.
“If you can convince me in three minutes that this isn’t an abhorrent waste of my time, I will stay with you until the night is over,” he offered, that devilish half-grin of his creeping up along his face.
Your own beaming smile outmatched his easily, and you were pulling him by his arm into the next room faster than he could blink. “Challenge accepted.”
Wilford immediately noticed Dark’s presence in the room and pushed through the crowd to meet you, his pink hair splayed wildly atop his head.
“Darky boy!! You came out of your cave for us?!”
Dark rolled his eyes, but the grin remained. “Hello, Wilford.”
“Wilford, did you just say Dark?!”
“HEY THERE BUDDY!“
“Well, well, well, look who it is!”
A small group of the egos had suddenly formed around you, welcoming Dark amidst the noise and chaos, patting him on the back, offering him drinks and holiday candy or a spot in the next round of a game. His body initially curled inward, his presence cooling around you as if he were ready to fling himself straight into the void. He glared at you, unresponsive to any of their efforts to speak to him, and at first you were worried this really wasn’t going to end well.He pulled himself away from Wilford’s sudden embrace, and you stiffened as you saw his hand clench into a fist at his side. Oh, no.
But then, he glanced at you once more from the corner of his eye, and you saw the faintest of light glinting behind his eyes.
“Alright, alright. Yes, I’m here. Merry Christmas, motherfuckers. Give me that.” He yanked a full glass of liquid from Bim that matched the one you’d been carrying earlier, studying the contents only briefly before pressing it to his lips and taking a long sip.
You wondered if you were ever going to be able to pick your jaw up from the floor. This was going to be quite the night, after all.
