Summary - lilia and avis have been dating for years now and as avis continues to age, she grows jealous of lilia’s immortality and begs her to share it
Warnings - angst, desperation, emotional desperation, allusions to smut, age gap, obsession, power imbalance
At night, when the house fell quiet and cold, Avis would lie awake in their bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to match her breath to the stillness beside her. But Lilia didn’t breathe. Not really.
She’d just watch. Eyes open. Beautiful and terrible and eternally still.
And every night, Avis would count the lines in her own skin. The softness creeping into her body. The sag of time catching up with her. While Lilia stayed exactly the same.
Timeless.
“I’m aging,” Avis said one evening, not looking up from the vanity mirror. Her hands trembled slightly as she applied a light cream to the corners of her eyes. “I can see it. You won’t say anything, but I know you notice.”
Lilia’s reflection didn’t appear behind her, of course. Just the ghost of memory and the scent of dark roses that always trailed her.
“You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Lilia said, her voice calm, practiced, as if the phrase had been recited many times before.
“But not the same woman you fell in love with.” Avis stood now, facing the spot where she imagined Lilia was. “Not the girl you met in that bar. Not the voice you heard humming in the alley.”
Silence.
“Say it.”
“No.”
Avis crossed the room, barefoot, furious in the quiet way only someone deeply in love can be. “Then say yes.”
Lilia tilted her head. Her eyes—dark, unreadable—landed softly on Avis, almost pitying. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I know exactly what I’m asking.” Her voice cracked. “Turn me.”
Lilia flinched like it physically hurt. “Avis…”
“Or I’ll leave.”
It hung in the air, heavy and cruel. But she meant it.
Avis wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t keep watching you stay the same. I can’t keep waking up knowing I’m closer to death while you stay young and untouched. I—I need more than stolen nights and make-believe mornings.”
“You think this life is romantic,” Lilia whispered, stepping closer. “But immortality isn’t love. It’s rot. It’s watching the world decay while you remain… stuck.”
“And yet you chose it,” Avis snapped. “You chose it, and you won’t even share it with me.”
“I didn’t choose it,” Lilia said. Her voice was cold now. Distant. “It was forced on me. You don’t want this.”
She looked up, blinking back tears. “I want to kiss you when I’m not scared of the wrinkles forming by my mouth. I want to feel your hands on me and know you won’t get bored of my body. I want to dance with you under the moon and not worry that my knees will give out. I want to belong to you.”
Lilia was quiet.
Then, suddenly, her hand was on Avis’s face, thumb brushing the curve of her cheek with reverence. “You already do,” she whispered. “You always have.”
Avis’s eyes fluttered shut at the touch.
“You make me feel alive again,” Lilia murmured. “And that… terrifies me.”
“Then make me feel dead,” Avis breathed, stepping closer, her mouth ghosting over Lilia’s jaw. “And yours.”
A sharp breath, not real but remembered, passed Lilia’s lips. Her fingers slid down Avis’s throat, resting where her pulse beat desperately beneath skin.
It would be so easy.
A kiss. A bite. An eternity.
“I’m not scared of dying,” Avis said, eyes locked on her. “I’m scared of being left behind.”
Lilia held her gaze, and for once, the ancient sorrow in her eyes cracked open.
“You wouldn’t be,” she whispered, leaning in so close their lips nearly touched. “You’d be right here. Always.”
Then Lilia pulled away. Not fully. But enough.
“I need time,” she said, voice rough, aching.
Avis nodded slowly, jaw tight. “Then take your time.”
She stepped back, crossing the room with silent steps.
“But if you wait too long,” she said over her shoulder, “there won’t be any of me left to turn."
She didn’t leave.
Despite her warning—her plea—Avis stayed. Because no matter how desperate her body was to stop the march of time, her heart was still foolishly, hopelessly bound to the vampire with the cruel mouth and the eyes full of regret.
But tonight, she couldn't pretend anymore.
“I’m begging you,” Avis said, voice shaking as she stepped into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. “Don’t make me ask again.”
Lilia stood by the window, the moon haloing her silhouette. Her hands were clenched, jaw locked, like she was holding back something awful. Or something sacred.
“I won’t damn you,” she whispered. “Even if it means losing you.”
“Then you already have,” Avis snapped. “Every day, I fade. And you—” she motioned to Lilia’s ageless skin, her porcelain-perfect poise, “you stay the same. Do you know how humiliating it is to watch you love me while I rot?”
The words cracked something open between them.
Lilia was across the room in a second, her cold hands gripping Avis’s face like she was afraid it would melt away. “Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever—”
“Then show me,” Avis said. “Prove it. Make me yours, completely. Or let me go.”
The silence burned.
Then Lilia kissed her.
Not soft, not sweet—violent with need. Lips crashing, teeth scraping, hands clawing at fabric. Avis moaned into her mouth, desperate and gasping, her fingers tangling in Lilia’s hair like she could anchor herself in this moment forever.
Clothes fell. They didn’t strip so much as tear. Lilia’s mouth trailed down her chest, her fangs brushing skin, not piercing—yet. Avis whimpered at the sensation, the promise of pain, of immortality, of surrender.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Lilia breathed against her skin.
“Yes, I do,” Avis hissed. “And I want it. I want you.”
They fell into bed, sheets twisted around their legs, Lilia’s cold fingers digging into the warm flesh of Avis’s hips. She slid between her thighs and didn’t hesitate. Her tongue, her mouth, her fingers—everything was desperate, messy, real. Like she was trying to memorize every inch of Avis before it was too late.
And Avis let her. She cried out, nails raking down Lilia’s back, body arching into every touch. She was close to breaking—shattering from pleasure, from love, from the ache that this might be the last time she felt anything as a human.
“I can’t lose you,” she whispered, wrecked, voice catching on a sob.
Lilia rose to kiss her again, slower this time, their bodies slick with sweat and tears and centuries of unspoken things. Her lips hovered at Avis’s throat.
“You won’t,” she murmured. “Not tonight.”
Then she bit.
Pain bloomed sharp, then dulled into warmth. Avis gasped, her legs locking around Lilia’s waist, overwhelmed by the pleasure laced in pain. She felt it—the taking, the giving, the shift. She wasn’t dying.
She was being remade.
Lilia pulled back with blood on her lips and love in her eyes. Avis touched her own neck, breath hitching, already dizzy from the change pulsing through her.
“It hurts,” she said.
“I know.” Lilia kissed her again. “But it means you’re staying.”
tethered and tied, there's nowhere to hide from me
a/n: heeeey...how y'all doinnnn?... so this is my first ever fic and idek if it's any good but i was just so inspired by @anthewitch's drawings of avilia that i had to write something. so yeah pls give feedback, it's very welcome since i'm new to this<3
pairing: Avis Amberg x Lilia Calderu
warnings: consuming alcohol (like a sip if you pay attention but still), bit of tension, vampire!avis
disclaimer: english is not my first language and i have no beta, so please excuse any errors in this. also this could be like a multiple part fic, but i don't know yet. the title is a lyric from All Mine - Portishead.
────୨ৎ────
The scent of fresias, cigarette smoke, and something metallic was the first thing Lilia felt, before the soft breeze of someone passing her by.
A flash of red hair. A twinkle of light caught on jewelry.
A small smile threatened to pull at her lips, hidden by the rim of her champagne flute. She's here.
Adjusting the satin shawl, Lilia started walking, snaking her way through the posh crowd, heels clacking against the marble floor with almost no sound, due to the band playing on the far side of the ballroom. Stepping through the double glass doors, their opening only obstructed by the floral patterned curtains, she found herself on the empty balcony, her legs taking her to the stone railing.
The weather was cool. The breeze slightly caressing her skin, her shawl the only protection against the cold. Yet she was not shivering. The feeling of being perceived made her feel warmer.
She smiled to herself in secret, looking out at the intricate garden under the balcony. Then it happened.
A sip of her drink. A shift in the atmosphere. The tapping of heels on concrete.
"I didn't expect to see you here." a rich, silky smooth voice.
Lilia scoffed lightly to herself, not bothering to turn around.
"Please," she said in an exasperated tone. "Don't sell yourself short. It doesn't suit you."
Turning around, she finally gazed upon her companion on the terrace.
Avis Amberg. A sight to behold.
Perfectly coiffed updo of shiny red hair, lips painted dangerously dark, almost the color of blood. A gorgeous gown, hugging her in all the right places, the draping of the garment following her every curve.
A faint smirk quirked at the corner of her lips. "This party doesn't suit you," she noted with familiarity she was not entitled to.
Lilia observed the other woman. Carefully. Never lingering on one spot for too long, before speaking.
"I'm surprised you showed. With that bounty on your head."
Avis rolled her eyes, stepping over to the railing next to Lilia, and leaning her hip on it. "They couldn't do anything even if they wanted to." her eyes twinkled with amusement. "Useless bunch."
She sighed as if she was utterly bored with the thought. "These hunters are not what they used to be." Avis looked at the other woman. "Pathetic."
Lilia's lips pulled into a small smile, despite herself. "You were always way too expectant towards them."
As the words left her lips, she stiffened, the smile almost freezing on her face.
Too much. Too familiar. Avis didn't react.
"And you." Avis said with a strange lilt in her voice.
"Avis," Lilia warned, already shaking her head. "Let's not do this again."
Avis contemplated Lilia for a few, strained minutes. Taking in her grey-streaked curls, haphazardly thrown into a bun, but still looking magnificent, her dress, which was more similar to a robe than a fancy garment.
"I wanted to see you," she said finally, with an air of nonchalance, looking up at the starry sky. "Seems like I was not alone in my intentions."
"Excuse me?" Lilia asked affronted, eyebrows climbing up towards her hairline.
Ruby red lips pulled into a knowing smile. A flash of teeth - and a pearly white fang.
"You followed me out here. Did you not?"
Lilia didn't reply, lest she say something even more incriminating than in the last ten minutes of standing out there. Her uncertainty echoing even in the silence.
"Don't worry," Avis spoke up after a while. "Secret's safe with me." She punctuated her words with a motion of locking her lips, but instead of throwing away the imaginary key, she placed it into the decolletage of her dress suggestively.
Lilia looked at her with unfiltered distrust. "Nothing's safe with you." she snarled.
"Come on, Lilia." Avis drawled as if she were speaking to a child in the midst of a hysterical episode. "Let's not kid ourselves." she stepped closer, her hand sliding on the stone railing, stopping just a hair away from Lilia's. "I missed you." she smiled.
Lilia's eyes flickered between Avis's deep brown eyes, but she couldn't make herself pull away.
"You miss having a willing dinner." she almost spat out, her brows pulling together in frustration, but her stomach coiled in something entirely different.
Avis tilted her head, considering the other woman's words.
"You're not exactly wrong there." she conceded. "But that's not what I meant."
"That's always what you mean." Lilia couldn't help the slight twitch of her lips. She looked towards the open doors connecting the balcony to the dance floor and watched the silhouettes move about.
"Maybe." Avis's voice sounded, softer, but heavier than before. "But never with you."
Then, a touch of cold, yet soft fingers on Lilia's hand. A breath released, not meaning to be heard, yet still recognized.
Then the fingers pulled away, and a soft breeze - warmer than the weather - hit her neck. The only thing left beside her on the balcony was the sweet scent of the perfume she smelled just a while ago.
Lilia didn't turn. She just released a shaky breath with a small, but undeniably warm smile, before heading back inside the ballroom, leaving whatever happened on the balcony to the darkness.
