#avo's thoughts

[avocadokin]

Fem TF2 mercs breast size smallest->largest

1. Scout -small and she's not happy about it, mostly breast tissue bc shes got little fat and very lean muscle

2. Sniper -barely bigger than scout's, mostly just bc shes got a bit more chest muscle from carrying her bigass sniper rifle everywhere

3. Spy -largest of the small end, big enough to go oo fem fatale but small enough to stay out of her way, mostly breast tissue but a little more fat than scout, but like barely

4. Demo -average? more muscle than the average woman but a bit less fat so balances out to make largely average titties

5. Soldier-pure muscle with a relatively thin layer of breast tissue and an even thinner layer of fat, barely larger than her male counterpart

6. Medic -he's the most conventionally attractive merc so she should be too, and that means titties on the larger end of the scale. lots of muscle from carrying around her heavy medigun constantly and a good helping of breast tissue and fat on top

7. Pyro -also has significant chest muscles from carrying the oxygen tank and flamethrower everywhere, but in addition is fat which pushes them above medic

8. Engineer -her machines are ridiculously heavy so tons of muscle there, she also has a very good layer of fat and for entirely self indulgent reasons i think she also has a good amount of breast tissue

9. Heavy -big <3

[avocadokin]

TF2 Mercs ranked by tan lines

1. Engie - pale hispanic mother fucker, tans so easily and hes pale enough as a baseline he'll get a tan line from chilling in the sun for 30 min. does use sunscreen, usually

2. Sniper - less tans and more bakes. he lives in the sun out of his own van and the "tan" is probably at least partially bc of a thin layer of dirt caked onto him. never fucking wears sunscreen even though he has gotten Nasty burns. he doesnt burn so much anymore tho bc he "got better"

3. Scout - he's the burn peals off into a tan type but he actively avoids being sunburnt and by extension tanning. if you tell him he cant tan tho he'd say something like "yeah i can, i just care about my beautiful skin unlike you elderly fucknuts"

4. Soldier - he has a Very Strict self care routine so he's always in top shape for battle. however his lead poisoned brain cant really remember the routine and only sometimes does it include any form of sun protection, and that protection is usually mud. he can tan though and the lines from his uniform look silly when he does

5. Medic - always wears sunscreen and while he can tan I think it's very even and not that much of a change overall

6. Pyro - she can tan but because theyre rarely outside of the suit his skin is just not exposed to the sun. but if she's alone she'll wear a slightly less completely covering suit, giving him some slightly silly looking tan lines

7. Spy - can tan but Refuses to. and if he somehow Had to tan he would not allow possibly identifying tan lines to form. he is staying out of the sun as much as he can and wearing the strongest possible sunscreen

8. Heavy - bro does not tan, literally just burns. a few of his sisters can tan but he did not get so lucky, wears sunscreen every time. burn lines are kinda like tanlines tho if you squint really hard so hes above demo

9. Demo - doesn't really burn or tan, if you look closely you'd notice maybe but its more like a texture difference from the parts of him that have been outside working for years and the covered bits. his family doesnt seem to put any priority on protecting their body so doesnt make a habit of wearing sunscreen, will put some on if offered though

[avocadokin]

i firmly believe that pyro knows their suit is slowly killing them but 1)respawn 2)slowly 3)asbestos is Really good at fireproofing and it lets them cuddle their beloved for longer 4)comfy texture