#avoiding sh

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

what has helped me decrease the amount i sh signficantly is not restricting my thoughts, urges, feelings about sh. in the sense that i just really don't guilt or shame myself about it anymore. i allow myself to sh, i allow myself to have the thoughts and if i really feel like i need to sh, i do it and dont shame myself for it.

it helps because i will *always* have the option to sh. i dont feel the need to constantly monitor and restrict myself about it so the urges and thoughts kind of stop feeling so incredibly urgent and often will pass without me acting on them, bc i can always sh later.

for this to be effective for me, i have to once in a while "prove" to myself that i really will always have the option/am allowed to sh. so if it has been a long time that i haven't done it, i will struggle with not doing it much more and will likely sh (sometimes it will then be a short period of increased sh). then it often will result in me not shing again for a long time because i have the "data" again to base my self-directed 'i can always sh later' on something real and tangible and i believe myself when i tell myself that.

for me, it removes a lot of pressure and urgency, which is what increases my desperation. if i feel like this important (i am talking abt how it feels, not objectively) tool will be taken from me/i have to forbid myself from utilising it, i will be much more obsessive about it. as opposed to it being an option like everything else, which makes it take up so much less space!

it sounds simple but ofc it has also taken me a long time to get to this point (especially not shaming myself etc). but i really think it has been a very significant shift for me, this way of thinking.

idk if it sounds like nonsense, i tried to explain as well as i could and don't know if anyone else would ever find it useful. but thought i'd share as a response to your search.

Thank you for your input anon, this does make sense. I do think that shame around self-harm contributes to a lot of people's self-harm and I'm glad you're able to not shame yourself as much any more.

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

about things that help - personally I don't do well with self-harm alternatives, since the kind of relief I get from self-harm is just way too unique to be replicated in other ways; not saying that makes self-harm a good thing, just that sometimes it isn't really possible to get the same or even a similar effect from something else. so what I mostly do if I'm deciding to not self-harm is to acknowledge how upsetting that is for me - usually more so than whatever has triggered the urge in the first place - and to validate the hell out of that distress, without pretending that something could serve as a satisfactory alternative. I'm guessing it kind of eases the internal struggle, or loosens up the tension, if I just recognise abstaining from self-harm as a genuine loss of sorts, and then practice some self-compassion about it. i feel like I don't see this kind of approach talked about that often, but that is what works best for me

Hi anon, that makes a lot of sense, thank you for your input.

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

what are non self-harm ways to stop intrusive thoughts & flashing images?

Hi anon, I'm not very familiar with managing intrusive thoughts or images but here are some resources I found that might be helpful

Self-care for OCD; Managing intrusive thoughts and uncertainty (even if you don't have OCD I think this advice could still be helpful)

Managing intrusive thoughts

30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts

Distractions that can help

How I cope with intrusive thoughts and rumination and How I deal with intrusive thoughts

If anyone else has other ideas feel free to add

You can also find more generalised info on ways to avoid sh here and on this blog tagged "#avoiding sh".

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

less an act and more just sharing :)

i struggled to heal from self-harm habits throughout my life, mainly because my desired outcome was scars and permanent marks and less to hurt. it was attention seeking mostly. pen washed off and rubber bands didnt leave any real visible difference. i saw it like a body mod, not for the harm it caused

recently ive been finding alternative, artful ways. for the holidays i got a tattoo gun and its been such a better output for my desires. im still an amateur and only do small things but not only am i so much safer, but im proud to show off my tattoos.

piercings have been the same.

so yeah— anyone who does sh for a similar reason, theres other methods! i hope you the best in feeling better <3

I wish people talked more about less recognised reasons for self-harming like this, thank you for your ask!

Some other (but less permanent) things I've found useful or have heard others find useful in this situation are cutting/dying your hair, using henna, painting your nails, drawing on yourself with body markers (usually stays for a few days), doing makeup, trying a different style of clothes, etc. Other forms of artistic expression that don't involve the body can also be helpful like painting or clay.

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

something I’ve found that has helped is when I start to feel the urge, I do something that will make it difficult or inconvenient to sh. Like, I invite a friend to go swimming with me the next day, or I sign up for a volunteer shift for a couple hours (usually I can sign up 5-10 minutes before I go). I find that this helps put off the sh, as well as remind me of why I want to quit.

That's a really great idea anon, thank you for sending this ask

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

i have recently discovered that my self harm urges are usually a desire to see blood. usually on myself but in general

one way ive managed to help alleviate this is w the classic drawing on myself (especially w red ink or paint) but also, ive recently learned that if i watch a slasher film it satisfies it in a way that i'm not physically hurt. if you can stomach it. even just the original scream or something like that...it rlly helps for my urges in particular

HI anon, thank you for this addition!

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

Something that has helped me a lot so I'd like to share: I sh when feeling out of control. Keeping tools I use to sh readily available instead of hidden/hard to get has lessened my frequency of actually using them, because I know I can always choose to do so if I'd want to, and that gives me a tiny bit of control over my life in the moment.

Thank you anon for sharing, I hadn't thought of it like that

[self-harm-harm-reduction]

what i usually do when i get the urge to sh but dont want to/cant for whatever reason: i just complain about it on tumblr (/on discord if i feel like it). it doesnt seem like it would help (and it usually doesnt fully make it go away) but many people underestimate the power of complaining about something that's bothering you. it doesnt even have to be venting, sometimes I'll just post "augh i want to sh but i cant FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE" and it makes me feel better!!

maybe it has something to do with the way cursing makes physical pain more bearable. acknowledging the problem can keep your body/brain from sending so many emergency alarms out. idk i just woke up

Hi anon, thanks for the input, this does make sense