#axhtime

[larrydrosalez]

this is an essay. a long, long, essay. #axhGRADUATION #axhHOMECOMING

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[larrydrosalez]

draftwork for my most recent literary venture a long TIME from HOME: on the wings of monarchs.

YOUR INSTRUCTIONS (should you choose to accept) 1.) write a book of ?..s 2.) read the book of ?..s 3.) record the ANSWERS

this project, a collaboration with my mother, serves as sequel to my first poetry chapbook, interested in men, released as part of my educational rite of passage, #axhGRADUATION, which is an extension of the larger project #anexcerptofhim. i’ve filled dozens of journals and who knows how many tumblr posts with writings, questions, and visual work, and when my mom handed me this BEAUTIFUL journal, i realized i wanted my next work to be an extension of and gift to the woman (representatively all women) who have informed and nurtured me. 

she gave me the journal this past november, and the first page was something she wrote in 2014. this entry on gifts, i consider to be the basis for how i craft the text and derivative works. 

this work began as my attempt at creating a choose-your-own-adventure afro-chicano-futurist sci-fi children’s poetry coloring picture book. (a follow up to the yet unfinished coloring poetry book co-authored by my partner deanna,  #anexcerptofus). 

it’s arguable at this point whether or not ‘on the wings of monarchs’ is a poetry text, or if it’s children’s content at all, but my findings have birthed in me new ways of approaching the world & my place in it, and i hope once completed (if possible?) it could impart some of the same understanding i’ve gained from the process. i’m hoping to have a more solidified version of the text to share by my TEDxUF presentation in gainesville this april, so stay tuned for that!

my initial interest in writing this book was to synthesize all the information i’ve gathered since leaving my parent’s house in 2006 and create a simple, written & illustrated text, then use the text as a source code for my digital investigations and eventually, write a thesis-type research paper to more formally solidify my proof of college education. 

i imagined the book would act as an experimental poem in which a reader could choose how to read the text and illustrations, find the meaning they wanted to find, and once published digitally, the reader/user could create a digital blog that would contribute to and expand their initial understandings of their own readings. if we take one word featured on the page below for example, “poem,” my understanding for this work and literacy works on 3 basic tiers: remembering, experiencing, imaging. 

remembering - what has “poem” been for me in the past? experiencing - what could “poem” be for me in this moment? imagining - what could “poem” be for me in the future?

one possible reading (translation) of this page is:

                                                                                                             FREE                                                                                                                        : AND JUST LIKE THAT                                                                           .        .

ON THE WINGS OF THOUSANDS MONARCHS HE FLEW.     ..   ..   .   ... :       

HE ACCEPTED HIS MISSION:                                                                   : GIVE YOURSELF TO...                                                                             : LIFE...LOVE...PEACE..PATIENCE...KINDNESS...SELF-                              . CONTROL...KNOWLEDGE...LIGHT...UNDERSTANDING...WISDOM...      . THE PEOPLE...THE WORLD.                                                             .

DO NOT FEAR, instead                                                               .                                              TRUST +                                        .              I AM    |                    BECOME                     STRONG     .               E|3UTTERFLY |                    BECOME                      WISE       ...:                        |                     BECOME                     BRAVE    :                        |                     BECOME               : ....BIG.......:    .                        |                     BECOME            ..:      WHOLE       :                        |                     BECOME............:                             ..                                                                                                   . a poem | a dance | a song | a praise | a dream | a man. .   .

it’s part joy of play & discovery, part intentional rebellion against educational structures i feel restrict the limits of the imagination and our ability to think and learn for ourselves.  

as i’ve been in the practice of writing in the book, sharing digitally, and applying the concepts in my lived experiences, it’s causing me to call into question my own assumptions of literacy altogether. i’ve written and explored the notions that words, numbers, letters, are all symbols that each contain greater meaning than their appearing, and now i’m starting to live in a way that explores a kind of self-induced synesthesia. 

i understand language as complex algebra, with rules, exceptions to rules, representative symbology, socio-political history, and infinite possibilities of interpretation because every author & every reader present new variables, and each of the experiences they (or i) read into this (or any) work, illuminates greater understanding to the story. (a reminder why feedback has been a critical part of my process for all of my work.)

the practice of compiling this book has been a catalyst for me to begin reading all color, sound, taste, smell, and touch as decipherable language in order to deconstruct and reconstruct the notions of literacy i’ve learned and purported while teaching. the colorful pages above represent more information than i could probably contain in any single book, so one of the major questions i pose and continue to pose with every reading is, “what do you see?”

i’ve learned from teachers who cannot read or write in any codified language, and seen the kinds of hinderances abuses that arise when institutions of “higher education” rely almost exclusively on the limitations of written and verbal communication jargon to evaluate students and communicate with the public. 

there are brilliant people all around the world whose ideas may never be heard or realized because institutions have created accreditation systems used to validate a person’s worth, and then limited access to resources. well funded institutional networks of religious, educational, journalistic governance decide who is allowed or not allowed to be evaluated by an inaccessibly self-evaluating system, and then releases their own chosen candidates for success to the public as “educated person in society, recipient of benefit, accolade, and favor.”

this is tragic, perpetual injustice. (but i’ll save that for another post on colonization)

“he stood between the little boy blues, and the color purple and found....”

while words, and high language in particular, are incredibly valuable to me, they are not a universal language. all communication goes through some kind of translation that is completely unique to the recipient of any message, and i’m interested in the keeping my messages open vessels that encourage engaged learning and cathartic healing across a diverse spectrum of communication. 

these initial investigations have helped me tremendously in defining and understanding myself, which has aided in growth throughout all of my creative endeavors, so hopefully someone with more language and resources can help me decipher and package all of it. (since mostly what i receive when i apply for things is pats on the back and rejection letters haha.) 

i’ve been playing with the feedback from this fellowship application rejection letter from on my blog, launching the ujimaa garden, which mixes my interests in digital media, information literacy, engaged learning, children’s literature, music & dance, social justice, spirituality, sexuality, race, and creative expression, etc. 

my work does follow the lines of inquiry, and rather than understand performance as the highlight of my existence, i transpose those lines of inquiry to my whole life. this helps me craft richer narratives, and more thoroughly interrogate the forms i exist in, which i’ve discovered, are manifold. 

you can keep up with my contributions to “on the wings of monarchs” by following the hashtag #axhMONARCH on tumblr, insta, facebook, and twitter. 

if you have ideas or feedback, as always, i’d love to hear them.

i invite participation and feedback on my research so you can share your thoughts about any of the work presented, womanhood, or sovereign governance in general (as the term monarch implies, ie: yassss queeeennnnn!) by using the hashtag #axhMONARCH.

much love, generous living. larry d.

[organicsomethings]

Kerning

[organicsomethings]

i’ve been.

mediating, selecting, handwriting annotations of spans of time from one minute to detail a document reflecting the general mood and tone of the thought in each line.

I stumble. And so defending confession, i include great examples of freely admitting the mistake, and changing the direction of the relationship i have with perfection.

i improvised different exercises for record of getting my mind off the ground and being more intentional with guiding my form and gaze to make choices regarding how and what I’m looking at. Might be a good idea to have a little more practice on the way out of inner dialogue and focus on expressing the right response to using imagination as a form of distraction to make a conscious effort on deferring to god as having overcome all my woes.

some of the best songs on the soundtrack

•better

•rise

•issues

•know what i mean

[organicsomethings]

Smooth Soulful R&B Mix Vol 2

[larrydrosalez]

Dia De Los Muertos 2020 for the *haters. 

[organicsomethings]