I am thankful
This 3rd week of jan felt like a blur. I don't exactly remember what i did each day but i remember the major parts of it. Like, i baked a batch of cookies but i halved the recipe and it turned out really bad. And i also went to this bakery supplies shop in bangi with mama and i absolutely love that store. It had everything, even durian puree. Abe and kc had job interviews this week and Alhamdulillah abe got the job! Kc's experience was scary bc the interviewer was what when i were in mrsm we called it 'psycho'. My nephew naeel is getting cuter and more chubbier and i hope along manages to pump and supply enough breastmilk for him when she starts work again in february, which is a good 2 weeks from now. Abah havent recovered from his ankle injury, we are still receiving visitors. Mama is baking kuih talam for my aunty's new cafe in melawati.
I went out with aina and ayunni on friday! I took the mrt (i cant recall the last time i took the mrt it has been AGES) to muzium negara and walked to nu sentral. We had fried rice, kuey teow and some dumplings at dolly dim sum. After that, we took the lrt to masjid jamek and walked all the way to bank negara sasana kijang (which was pretty stupid but hhhhh what were we thinking). We prayed zohor and looked at some art and left to klcc. At klcc we went to dotty's and then i went to have dinner with kc and haziq.
And saturdays are appointment days. It used to be fridays but i have uni stuff now so we push it to saturdays. A recap, i took a blood test last week and today was the results reading. I walked in alone and the doctor said call a relative inside. Didnt sound good now did it. Kc went in and the doctor explained that i have borderline sle. She is in a dilemma whether to diagnose me with sle or rosacea. She was quite weirded out because i responded positively to accutane but if i were to have sle it would reject it. Could this be the reason why it only helped my cheeks and not my nose? I remember the first time i went to get my blood tested, around may? March? Before i started my foundation was because mama thought i have sle while the derm said it's rosacea. I don't blame them, doctors are doctors and they only have to pick up clues to figure out the problem. I kinda feel sorry because people throw so much hate on the doctors when they misdiagnosed a patient. They can only do so much, they are not gods. Anyway, i have to do this 24hour urine test. I have to collect my urine in this container for a full 24 hours and send it back to the lab the day the 24 hours have finished. The doctor wants to see if it had affected my kidneys.
After that, kc and i went to ou and i watched a movie alone. I watched mary poppins returns and i cried so much when michael sang about his late wife kate. But to be honest i think i was crying because of sle. I'm scared. I cried again at mama once i got home and she assured me that everything was going to be okay. She told me that it had already been programmed and set for me, it is only now we know about our body. And i am so very thankful for that. I am thankful to be able to know this much about my body. She also told me that Allah has chosen me. He chose some to have ms, he chose some to have arthritis, and he chose me to have whatever i have. I guess it's okay. It is okay. This is just another test, life is a test on its own and this is just a subset of it. And i know i will be okay. I'm starting the pee thing tomorrow so that i can send it in on a monday.
Oh and i had a poke bowl today and it was so good. I am thankful for poke bowls too.