I spent almost five years trying to pinpoint why I related to Azula so much, given that I don't have problems with my mom (and even though my relationship with my father is... Strained... To say the least, it isn't like hers with Ozai, not quite. I'm also an only child so lol).
So I was revisiting some things and something just clicked while I was thinking about what I love about her as a character and traits that I related to and the conclusion was that she's SO BIPOLAR CODED. I was only diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II this year, so in the past, while I struggled with many things that weren't common to regular depression, I was never actually aware of most of my symptoms, and it turns out they were the ones that made me feel solitary, evil or just misunderstood, like the world was against me. Like I was a monster.
Well, now imagine how it felt to undiagnosed me to see a character that represented so much of my "ugly" side. A girl that had extreme mood swings, that sometimes felt euphoric, confident and hyper aware of her surroundings, that was extremely irritable at times, losing control over her temper and pushing people away. A girl that had never felt seen by her family or friends, never felt alike her peers, someone whose emotions are so strong and out of control (which makes her go insane since she's- well, I'm a control freak) that in the end it affected her judgement and view of the world, someone who couldn't help but being the product of the environment that she was raised into.
When I saw Azula I also saw myself somehow.
I couldn't name what it was at the time, but now I know. It's bipolarity, plain and simple, and while I think she's type I rather than type II like myself, seeing a bipolar coded girl character made me feel seen for, perhaps, the first time in a long while (maybe all my life). She's still the character I feel most connected to, and maybe she'll always be. I mean, she's the first character that made me feel like I wasn't so different and alone, after all, and for that I'm eternally grateful, (particularly because I met her when I was passing through a depressive episode).
