#babey rambles

[adhbabey]

I think if we want to be inclusive of greyspec ppl we should talk about how connection with one another is what unites us, not love. Because connection can mean literally anything, it can mean connection between communities, families, partners, pets, parasocial relationships, friendships, etc. Connection between you and a book or a piece of media you like. That the human experience is based on connection, not love.

And like, a greyspec inclusive term for a particular loved one/thing can be a companion. Like it can be your dog, a close friend, a partner, anybody or anything.

I've had these particular thoughts in my brain for a while but I wanna yeet them out into the world.

And sure, there are some people who wanna be alone, but a baby thrives on the connection with their parent, and as a species, we're social. A lot of disorders derive from an inconsistent attachment when it should have been unconditional.

So like, these are good terms to use in case you're wanting to talk or discuss that sort of stuff.

Not everyone feels empathy nor love, but using words like compassion, connection, companion are all good substitutes!

[adhbabey]

The one thing about needing a different dose of adhd meds, or needing adhd meds to work right at all, is that u don't have the executive function to do anything, or even sleeping through the night. Please just let me sleep adhd brain. Please let me sleep. Please qwq

P l e a s e im begging adhd gods to let me sleep please

[adhbabey]

Hey guys, I don't think this is talked about enough, but you know you don't have to disrupt the status quo of your household if you're unsafe, right? Especially if you're in an abusive household, you don't need to actively call out racism or transphobia, or openly fight against the status quo.

I know online spaces or people often encourage you to fight against it or educate your parents, but if you are unsafe, you do not have to and you are not obligated to. Please put your health and safety first.

It should be widely known, if not known, that children growing up in a racist or abusive household, do not share their parent's ideas, but may hold a lot of internalized self hatred. And that is something you can unfold as you grow older or with a therapist. You should not be obligated to do it out in the open.

I know there is a lot of online pressure, but please protect yourself. I don't care if this post sounds insensitive to those causes. You should not have to be the one to educate your parents, they're the adults here, they should be the ones to educate themselves. You are already in a power dynamic with them, even if you're an adult. Just because you have a little more power than you had before, doesn't mean they still can't abuse you.

In my own household, I live with my family for necessity, I don't have any other place to go, I am disabled, I don't think I can take care of myself if I lived on my own at this point and time. I live with them for necessity, so disrupting the status quo may lower my chances for survival. Even if I have done it a little bit, and I have more power as an adult, I don't talk to my mom about trans people or the fact of my own gender identity because I know she's transphobic. I don't open up about myself to my family to protect myself. I am separate and disconnected from my family for survival. I educate myself, alone. I work through my problems with my therapist.

Put yourself first. Of course, please find anyway to leave your household if you can if it's too abusive. But if you can't, don't fight against the status quo because others pressure you to. I think everyone should understand that. If they don't, block them, they're assholes. You shouldn't be listening to people who actively hurt you or don't have your best interest at heart.

Please protect yourself. Your safety and health comes first. Your survival comes first before anyone else.

[adhbabey]

Not me going downstairs because I'm hungry then taking out salsa and putting it on the counter then going to use the bathroom for an undisclosed amount of time, that I didn't even remember what I was doing and forgot I was hungry, and only remembering after I saw salsa on the counter.

my adhd 🤝 my did/osdd

Holy fuck? Why is my memory recall this bad? I used to just let my brain fill in the gaps, and it's like , ah,, wow. Im dissociating again. Thanks.

[adhbabey]

Everytime, every single damn time, someone on my post tries to debate that symptoms of ADHD are symptoms of other disorders, I WANT TO ROLL MY EYES SO HARD.

Look, I get it. I fucking get it. These are symptoms other people experience of other disorders. BUT YOU'RE MISSING THE FUCKING POINT OF THE POST.

Every single time ppl are like "you can't self diagnose" or "you can't self assess" or some bullshit about how if you aren't a professional, you can't know whats going on. THOSE ARE LIES!! THEY'RE MYTHS!! IT'S UTTER BULLSHIT!!

The point of the post is to determine whether or not you experience these symptoms. The questions below each of the categories, shows you what these symptoms mean and are.

Sure, You can have some symptoms and not have ADHD. But if you experience MOST of these symptoms, you are likely to have it. You don't even have to have all of the symptoms listed to have it. Like others said, it's an incredibly extensive list.

And you motherfuckers have to realize, A SELF DIAGNOSIS ISN'T THE END. It's literally the beginning. It's literally the first step into getting an official diagnosis. You need to research, talk to others in the community and find someone who can test you. You need to self advocate if you want a diagnosis.

But not everyone is able to get tested. And that's part of why I'm so angry at some of you heathens. Literally stop getting pissed at people who self diagnose. Acting like people are hoarding resources or hurting others by self dxing is ableist. Don't tell people shit like that.

And if you are someone concerned that you are self diagnosing or you're faking it, overexaggerating, overreacting, etc. then please don't worry. There is nothing wrong with self dxing, you're not glorifying it, you're not making it up. You're not somehow faking it. Dissociation and denial is normal when you experience a disorder that is constantly brushed aside or overlooked. Take time to process this information.

If I can get diagnosed officially after two years of self diagnosing, you can too. Let's tear down these stigmas actively hurting the community. Stop gatekeeping. It's okay to self diagnose, it's okay.

[adhbabey]

I think being online most of the time isn't bad. Most people I talk to have a good sense of humor and don't mind if you're queer or ND, most people I talk to are queer and hate homophobia, racism, all that. Most people I talk to are open to witchcraft or don't have a faith.

But the amount of whiplash I get from being offline is painful to say the least. Someone in my neighborhood has a blue lives matter flag, people often have a closed off view of the world, being entitled, arrogant and often cruel to those they deem that don't fit the mold. Often having a christian-centric view or partake in only white feminism without any criticism. It's really frightening, and it's why so much of us who can mask, do.

I really don't think having an online lense is that much of a bad thing. Sure, real people exist, but where's the hope for those of us who escape here? So many of us do. I feel it's naive to ignore that so many of our homes and physical worlds are a toxic and close minded place to be. It's exhausting and really sad.

So many of us have no access to pride, don't know where services are, can't drive and don't live near a bus. We can't escape our homes or go some place. Many of us rely on our families, many of us are in toxic households.

It's not so bad to be online, I'm more open minded and I have more power and privacy here than I ever was with my family.

So shoutout to everyone who's here, so many of you are amazing, and you need to hear that.

[adhbabey]

Hate people who are anti-self dx,

You are not immune to medical propaganda.

Being a little anti-psychiatry is good actually. Like, of course, you should medicate n work towards recovery. But criticism of the medical community is always needed.

Like seriously, criticize doctors and their supposed education. Please support people who can't get proper diagnoses and medical treatment. Criticize the fact that some people are forced to take medication. Criticize the way people infantalize disabled people like in schools. Criticize the healthcare system. Criticize the way that people gatekeep mental health. Criticize the stigma surrounding many disorders. Self advocate and advocate for others. Call out ableist behavior and slurs. Call out the way people lick the boots of doctors and medical professionals.

Anyway, these systems that are in place are incredibly ableist. Being critical of psychiatry is important. It wasn't too long ago that none of us had rights.

We need to stand for everyone who don't have the means to fight for themselves.

[adhbabey]

I wanna talk about something that y'all need to hear.

When I was young I was harassed and bullied viciously by a group of guys for four years. That trauma shaped my world view for a while. I used to attack the amab and masculine presenting people around me. I would treat them like shit, call them trash. I would attack them and laugh at them if they were at all gender nonconforming.

I remember a specific instance where I laughed at someone taller than me because they had long hair. They told me I was going too far and that sent me into a spiral.

I would harass and shame the amab n masc ppl around me. I would do it along with my friends. I viewed them as lesser.

I had a twisted view until I realized that I was genuinely hurting those people around me. That it wasn't just fun and games. That they're real people with real feelings. That they're not different from me, not really. That they have feelings like I do, and I shouldn't dehumanize them just because I was harassed.

So- what I'm saying is... It's okay to have trauma, and it's alright if you feel hurt. But don't weaponize your trauma against people who don't deserve it. They're real people, they're just like you. They aren't lesser than you and deserve as much respect as you do.

Take it from me. It's a very sinister ideology, you're not immune to it. Be critical of whom you choose to hate. No matter what, they're not the evil villain that your abusers were, they're human, just like you. So please treat them with human decency and respect