#background madatobi

[evapourate-rn]

Monopoly

Madara, broke and desperate: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Mito, with nearly all the money in the game in a pile next to her: Oh yeah? You're the fool who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Hashirama, with his barrels of alcohol on the line: You are not the woman I married. I'm moving out and I'M TAKING TOBIRAMA WITH ME!

Mito: I want a divorce!

Tobirama, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

[crystallized-shadow]

I hope your inspiration for writing returns soon! I think the prompt list that you set up is very good. Well, let's see if this will help you along your path back to writing: HashiMito and for the prompt “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”

Sorry for the wait Tuliharja, I hope you enjoy this! 

Just a quick note, this is a modern AU with background MadaTobi.

“Mito, this is never gonna work,” Hashirama whimpers, hugging his wife close in an attempt to stop her.

“Hush Husband,” Mito scolds fondly, patting Hashirama’s head, “when have I ever been wrong?”

“Well-” Whatever Hashirama is going to say is cut off by yelp when a stiletto heel digs into his foot. “Never!”

“That’s right,” Mito grins, dragging Hashirama up for a quick kiss. “Those two will thank us.”

“I doubt it,” Hashirama sighs, “but I know there is no stopping you. What do I need to do?” Mito’s grin doesn’t reassure him any, but Hashirama resigns himself to grovelling for forgiveness after this is all done.

-

Tobirama is just about to leave his lab when his cell phone rings, the sound shrill in the silent room.

“What?” Tobirama snaps, not in the mood to interact with people.

“Hello brother dearest.”

“Mito,” Tobirama sighs, “what do you want?” Normally he would be more civil with his sister-in-law, but it was late and he just wanted to go home.

“Since I doubt you’ve left your lab yet, I need to borrow some chloroform.”

Tobirama sighs as he glances at the clock, Mito knew him too well. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”

“Do you really want to be an accomplice?”

“Fine,” Tobirama groans, knowing better than to press the redhead; her temper was legendary and he didn’t want to be on the receiving end. “I’ll leave it on the table. Wake me and so help me god-”

“Thanks.” The line goes dead and Tobirama sighs again. Mito was a terror when she put her mind to something, not that he was much different with his research, which was probably why they got along so well. Retrieving the bottle of chloroform, Tobirama slips it into his bag and heads for his car; at least whatever Mito was planning promised to be entertaining.

-

“Don’t make me do this,” Hashirama pleads, putting on his best impression of a kicked puppy, “he’ll kill me!”

“Madara’s an officer of the law, he won’t kill you,” Mito assures with a chuckle, “maim you a little, but he won’t kill you.”

“Mito!”

“Hush Dear,” Mito says with a grin, “just wait until I distract him and you’ll be fine.”

Hashirama’s whimper is drowned out by the doorbell ringing and Mito goes to let Madara in.

“Harpy,” Madara grumbles without any heat, “what do you want?”

“We need to talk about Tobirama,” Mito states, barely surprising a grin when Madara huffs and crosses his arms over his chest.

“What law did that idiot break this time?” He asks with a frown, “I’m not gonna keep covering for that dumbass.”

“He hasn’t done anything like that recently,” Mito chuckles, grinning like the cat that caught the canary, “this is about how you like him and refuse to address said attraction.”

“I do not like that bastard!”

“Hey Madara!” Hashirama grins, popping up behind his friend.

“Not now you tree stump!” Madara snarls, still glaring at Mito, “your wife is spreading lies about me!!”

“Does this smell like chloroform?” Before Madara can properly process the question, Hashirama presses a cloth over his mouth and nose. Madara tries to struggle, but Hashirama holds tight and soon his body goes limp.

“See, that wasn’t so bad,” Mito points out, “now help me get him to Tobirama’s room.”

“Mito!” Hashirama whines even as he follows his wife, “I don’t want to think about them together!”

“They’ve been dancing around each other for years,” Mito points out, grinning as Hashirama carefully lays Madara on the bed, “it’s about time someone helped them along.”

“I don’t want to know any more,” Hashirama states, leaving the room. Normally he would feel guilty about abandoning his best friend, but Mito did have a point; he’s seen the way Madara eyed his brother when he thinks no one is watching and Tobirama’s had drunkenly confessed to having a crush on Madara ages ago. Hopefully his lovely wife would be right again, and Tobirama would like his surprise.

-

Mito and Hashirama are just packing their last bag into the car when Tobirama gets home.

“Mito?” Tobirama asks with a raised eyebrow, because he knows this isn’t his brother’s idea.

“Hashirama and I are going to a couple retreat this weekend, you’ll have the whole house to yourself,” she explains with a grin, not missing the relief the flickers across Tobirama’s face. “We left your present on your bed.”

“Present?”

“Have a good weekend,” Mito chuckles, kissing Tobirama’s cheek.

“Happy Birthday Otouto!” Hashirama grins, hugging his little brother, “Mito thought you’d prefer this to the party I wanted to throw.”

“Thank you,” Tobirama mutters, letting Hashirama hug him for a moment before he pushes him into Mito’s waiting arms. “Have fun.”

Mito just smirks as she and Hashirama get into the car and leave. Tobirama watches the car depart for a moment before he chuckles and heads into the house. It had been a long time since he got the house to himself and he couldn’t wait to relax. Deciding he better see what kind of present those two left for him, Tobirama heads for his room first. Only to stop short at the sight of a very naked Madara tied up in bright red ribbon on his bed.

“Happy birthday to me,” Tobirama mutters, advancing on the nervous but clearly interested Uchiha.