Love Me (don’t keep it secret)
This is for Teen Wolf 'Cest Week Day 3 - Firsts and it's the first time they say I love you. You can read it here on AO3 or watch out for the read more.
~*~*~
Every time Derek saw Peter, he felt the urge to tell him he loved him. And every time, Derek clenched his teeth and bit down on that impulse.
He wasn’t sure Peter wanted to hear that.
Sure, Peter doted on him, spend every moment he could with Derek, but it was all clouded in secrecy and Derek didn’t know what to think of that. They never met in public. No one knew about their relationship. If they wanted to spend the night together, Peter got them a hotel room. He even went so far as to purchase two smell concealing amulets.
Derek hated wearing it, hated not being able to smell like Peter or smell himself on Peter, but he did it anyway. Because Peter wanted it that way and Derek loved him.
He just wasn’t sure if Peter even felt the same about him.
“Why can’t we just tell our family?” Derek asked, yet again one evening, when they were both lying in bed in a hotel room that smelled nothing like them and home and safe.
“Derek,” Peter sighed, and Derek could tell this would be the same conversation they always had. And he wouldn’t have it, not this time. He was tired of hiding and not being able to tell everyone about their relationship.
About his love for Peter.
“No,” Derek said. “Just give me one good reason. Just one. And none of that ‘no one would understand’ bullshit you’ve been giving me all this time.”
“But it’s the truth,” Peter tried, face hardening when Derek shook his head.
“I need you to do better than that,” he told Peter, who looked away for a second.
“Talia,” Peter started and then helplessly shrugged. “She wouldn’t understand. She hates me and she loves you and she would never accept this.”
“So the approval of your sister means more to you than our relationship?” Derek wanted to know because this couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be why Peter went through all these lengths to hide their relationship.
“Of course not. I couldn’t care less about her approval.”
“Then what?”
“Derek, don’t you understand? She’s going to kill me for it. She’s going to kill me because I laid a hand on you.”
That left Derek speechless for a short while but then he started to laugh.
“She wouldn’t. You’re her brother. She would never do that to you.”
“Believe me, she would. You only know her as the loving mother, but I’ve known her a lot longer than you. She didn’t come by her reputation by being a loving and forgiving woman.”
“But you’re her brother!”
“Exactly. She doesn’t like me, Derek, and that’s only on the good days.”
“That doesn’t mean she’s going to hurt you just because you love me,” Derek tried again, but Peter shook his head.
“It really does. You think I’m trying to hide our relationship because of what? Because I’m ashamed of you? Because I don’t want anyone to know I love you?”
“You’re hiding it because you’re afraid,” Derek whispered, suddenly understanding why Peter went to all these lengths. It would make sense if he thought his life was in danger.
“I like to think of it as taking the necessary precautions,” Peter gave back with a wince.
“But she wouldn’t hurt you,” Derek said with as much conviction as he could put into the words, but Peter didn’t seem convinced.
“Let’s not talk about it anymore, okay?” Peter said, trying to derail the conversation and when he trailed a path of kisses down Derek’s throat, he had to admit it was pretty damn effective.
~*~*~
It had taken Derek weeks to get them here. They were right outside the house, still sitting in the car and the amulets were back at Peter’s place.
They came today to tell Talia about their relationship.
It had been difficult to convince Peter that Talia wouldn’t hurt him like he seemed to think, that she wouldn’t attack him and certainly not kill him.
Derek hadn’t managed to convince Peter of that, he was still braced for the inevitable, but Derek had at least gotten across the point that if not for Peter himself, then Talia would never hurt someone Derek cared about.
“I love you,” Peter suddenly said and turned toward Derek. “You know that, right?”
“Don’t,” Derek immediately gave back, even though those were the exact words he wanted to hear. Just not in this context. “Don’t say that like it’s the last chance you’ll ever get.”
“But it might,” Peter mumbled under his breath as he exited the car, Derek just a step behind him.
“It’ll be okay,” Derek reassured him yet again. “You’ll see.”
“Yeah, I will, won’t I?”
Derek rolled his eyes at Peter’s pessimistic approach to this and he slightly pushed him forward.
“Let’s get this over with, so we can go home for once and cuddle.”
Peter took one last deep breath and then entered the house, Derek right behind him.
Derek might have convinced Peter to do this, but Peter had insisted on choosing a time when only Talia would be home. So they weren’t particularly concerned with running into anyone else and that seemed to relax Peter at least a little bit.
They found Talia in the kitchen, reading over some papers. She looked up with a smile when she heard them enter, but as soon as she took one breath her face fell.
“What is the meaning of this?” she demanded to know, and Derek’s stomach dropped out because he didn’t believe Peter when he said Talia would hate this, but apparently he had been right all along.
There was nothing of the warm, loving mother Derek knew in her voice. She was cold, hard steel and he was glaring at Peter.
“Where here to tell you that we’re together,” Derek said, noticing how Peter kept just one step behind him and Derek had a split second to curse himself for dragging Peter here before Talia’s eyes flared red.
“I don’t think so,” she lowly said, voice hard and unforgiving. “Leave us, Derek.”
“No. I’m not going to leave Peter alone, here.”
“How long has this been going on? How long have you been abusing my son?” she hissed at Peter and Derek frowned.
“He’s not abusing me, mom. We love each other.”
“Oh, please. As if you could ever love a monster like him.”
Derek felt Peter flinch behind him and he took a step back, pressing his back to Peter’s arm in silent support.
“He’s not a monster. And I do love him.”
“Leave us!” Talia roared, rapidly losing control of her shift, and Derek had never wanted to believe Peter, could never imagine his mother as someone who would hurt her own family, but Peter had been right.
She would kill him if she got the chance.
“No,” Derek yelled back, ready to stand his ground, but Peter pushed him to the side.
“Don’t get hurt for my sake,” he whispered to him, and that seemed to be the last straw for Talia.
She roared again before she flung herself towards Peter. Peter had dropped into a defensive stance and he didn’t seem inclined to just run away. It seemed like he was ready to fight for their relationship.
“Mom, no,” Derek shouted, and pushed Peter away, out of her path.
And not a second too early because a moment later he could feel his mother’s claws sink into his side. If Peter had still been there, she would have gone straight for his heart.
Derek barely had time to process the pain, before another roar shook the room and his mother was pulled away from him. Peter had her across the room and pinned to a wall in the matter of a blink and Derek distantly thought that maybe Peter would kill her, for daring to hurt him.
He hadn’t been ready to fight for his own life, but he clearly was ready to fight for Derek’s.
“Peter, don’t,” Derek called out and Peter tilted his head, clearly listening, but unwilling to take his eyes off Talia.
“She hurt you,” he pressed out. “She doesn’t get to do that.”
“Then just accept your fate,” Talia panted and lashed out at Peter again.
But Peter was furious now and he blocked her attack without many difficulties and had her back against the wall in no time.
“I won’t,” he spit in her face. “Not when it means you’re hurting Derek!”
“Peter,” Derek warningly called out when he saw how he tightened his grip on Talia’s throat. “Don’t kill her. Don’t do that.”
“You’re bleeding!”
“And you don’t want to be the monster she thinks you are,” Derek tried again, and Peter pressed his lips together.
“Fine,” he eventually said, stepping away from Talia and letting go of her throat before he leaned forward. “But don’t you ever lay another hand on Derek,” he threatened, and Talia nodded with wide eyes, hand protectively covering her throat.
As soon as she had done that, Peter turned away from her, hurrying over to Derek and inspecting his side.
“It’s not deep,” Derek tried to reassure him, but Peter was worrying anyway, Derek could tell.
“It’s still bleeding.”
“But it’s not that bad, I promise you.”
“I have a first aid kit at home,” Peter told him, and Derek’s heart stumbled unhappily in his chest.
Peter had expected to get hurt and had prepared accordingly.
Peter was trying to herd him out of the room, but Derek brushed off his hand, turning back towards his mother.
“You’re right about one thing,” he told her and she flinched at how cold Derek’s voice was. “I could never love a monster like you.”
With that Derek turned his back to her, fully intending for this to be the last time, ever, and leaned back against Peter, clinging to him as he propped him up.
“I’m so sorry I forced you to do this. That I didn’t believe you,” Derek told him as they made their way to the car.
“Derek, don’t,” Peter sighed. “I’m sorry I made you keep our relationship a secret. I know that ate at you, and I’m sorry for that.”
“You had very valid reasons,” Derek said with a wince as he lowered himself into the car.
“Still.”
“No. You were right, and I should have listened. But,” Derek said, voice lighter in an attempt to lift the mood as Peter walked around the car to get behind the wheel, “now we can at least enjoy your very expensively decorated apartment. I bet that bed has not been properly used lately.”
“I love you,” was Peter’s reply to that and this time it didn’t hurt. Because he wasn’t just saying it out of fear.
“I love you too,” Derek immediately gave back and pulled Peter over the middle console, to kiss him properly. “Now let’s go home.”
“Alright, darling.”