You Promised Me Always (and then where did you go)
This was written for the Teen Wolf 'Cest Appreciation 2019 Day 7 - Mates. You can read it here on AO3 or watch out for the read more.
“Peter!” Derek yelled out when Peter entered the living-room.
Talia had told him earlier that day that Peter would come by, but Derek hadn’t believed her, hadn’t dared to hope, but now he was here, and Derek couldn’t be happier.
“Where’s my favorite pup?” Peter asked, bending down to swipe Derek up when he came barreling towards him. “There he is,” he almost crooned, lifting Derek up high and rubbing his nose into Derek’s belly, making him laugh and squirm.
“I’ve been a good pup,” Derek immediately declared, looking proud and expectantly at Peter, who smiled brightly at him.
“I have heard. And you’ve grown so much!”
“I’m almost grown up now,” Derek proudly said and frowned when Peter laughed at that.
“You still want to grow a little bit, pup, six is too young to be all grown up, yet.”
“But I wanna be big already!” Derek complained and then sighed happily, when Peter tucked him close to his chest, nuzzling the side of his head.
“You’ll grow up soon enough, sweetheart, don’t worry.”
“And you’ll still be there,” Derek said, allowing no doubt in his voice and Peter kissed his head.
“I’ll always be there for you,” he promised, and Derek curled closer, tucking his face into Peter’s neck and relaxing against him.
He knew that Peter would always be there for him.
Derek timidly knocked at Peter’s study.
“What?” Peter snapped out and shot a glare at Derek before he concentrated on his file again.
“I just wanted to ask you something,” Derek hesitantly said and lingered in the doorway, unwilling to step further into Peter’s space when he so clearly wasn’t wanted there.
“Go ahead,” Peter distractedly said, keeping his attention on the file and not looking at Derek.
“Laura is supposed to be alpha, someday,” Derek started, nervously shuffling his foot across the carpet.
“I wanted to know if you’d train me as left hand,” Derek said, not daring to make it a question because Peter didn’t approve of those, when they came from Derek.
He hadn’t for almost a year now.
Peter’s head snapped around to him, and there was something in his eyes that wasn’t the usual anger and disdain he had for Derek, but it was gone just a second later and the usual mask was back in place.
“I don’t think so. You’re not cut out for that job. You’re too soft,” Peter said dismissively, and Derek felt how his heart dropped to his stomach.
He had hoped that Peter would agree, that Derek could be that for Laura later, but mostly he had wanted to spend more time with Peter. Peter had pulled away shortly after Derek had turned thirteen and Derek didn’t know what he had done to make Peter that angry with him.
“Please,” Derek whispered softly, talking more to the floor than to Peter, but Peter didn’t even spare him a glance.
“Okay,” Derek muttered, after he waited another minute for a reply, and then he soundlessly closed the door behind him.
Peter never looked up at him again.
“Here, just ask him,” Laura said and shoved the phone at Derek.
He hesitated for a long moment before he reached for it, slowly pressing it to his hear.
“Hello?” he asked, hesitant and unsure and Laura rolled his eyes at him.
“Laura said you wanted to ask something,” Peter roughly said, getting straight to the point and Derek sighed.
Nothing had changed in the last four years; Peter still didn’t like him, hadn’t for almost five years now, and Derek pretended that it didn’t still hurt, even though it did. So much.
“I’m starting at the university in your city in two months,” Derek told him and was met with a deafening silence on the other end of the line.
“What’s the question, Derek?” Peter asked, almost growled, when Derek stayed silent for too long.
“I wanted to ask if I could move in with you,” Derek rushed out, almost too afraid to ask the question at all and he immediately knew that he had been right to be reluctant to ask.
Peter was going to tell him no.
“Hand me back to Laura,” Peter said, voice even and controlled, and Derek almost threw the phone at Laura, before he ran out of the room.
He was eighteen, for gods sake, he shouldn’t flee to his room to cry into his pillow just because Peter wanted nothing to do with him, and yet. And yet here he was, sniffling into his pillow, curled up under his blanket.
He startled when Laura settled down on his bed, gently patted his head.
“He said no,” she softly told him. “But he’ll pay for your apartment, whatever you chose.”
“Wonderful,” Derek muttered and pressed his face harder into the pillow.
“I’m sorry,” Laura whispered and laid down on top of Derek.
He wanted to protest, but her weight on him was comforting, grounding, and Derek relaxed under it. He tried not to think about the fact that he would be living in the same city as Peter soon, and that Peter didn’t even want to see him.
He miserably failed at that.
Derek was pacing in front of Peter’s apartment. He had checked it out thoroughly, and he was pretty damn sure that the apartment was soundproofed, so Peter couldn’t know that Derek had been pacing in front of it for the better part of an hour.
Derek wasn’t proud of that, it was Peter, after all, but he was so damn nervous.
Peter had been distant, ever since Derek had moved into the city, and Derek could count on one hand the times he and Peter had run into each other. Mostly that happened on accident, too.
Derek had wheedled Peter’s address out of Laura, had bribed Cora to not tell him during their weekly phone calls and wasn’t that like a punch to the gut. Peter was avoiding Derek so thoroughly it was almost like they weren’t related at all.
But Derek was tired of this; he wanted to know what he had done why Peter didn’t like him anymore and he was going to find out, dammit.
Mind made up, he finally knocked at Peter’s door. It took Peter so long to open the door that Derek almost started to think he wasn’t home.
The door opened eventually, though, and Derek was facing Peter for the first time in almost two months. Peter wasn’t amused by that, if the way his face fell was any indication.
“What?” he growled out and Derek pressed his lips together, before he straightened his shoulders.
“Can I come in?” he asked, and Peter immediately closed the door, caging himself into the doorway, but sending a very clear message.
“No,” Peter still said, probably in case his point hadn’t gotten across, and something in Derek broke at that clear dismissal.
“I don’t understand,” he croaked out, and it was like the floodgates were opened with just those three words. “I don’t know what I did wrong, I don’t understand why you hate me so. Why won’t you just talk to me, Peter, I miss you, so damn much and I just don’t understand,” Derek sobbed out, covering his face with his hands.
“Derek,” Peter helplessly said, and Derek just sobbed harder. “Come here,” Peter muttered, and Derek flinched when Peter pulled him closer, hands warm on his shoulders.
Peter pulled until Derek rested against his chest, and he started to cry for real now, tears just freely flowing as Peter slung his arms around him and pressed his lips to Derek’s temple.
“I don’t hate you,” Peter mumbled into his hair and Derek’s sobs turned into helpless laughter and he pushed Peter away.
“Yeah, right,” Derek said, voice still wet with tears, but he rubbed his hand over his face, anger suddenly bubbling up. “That’s why you wouldn’t train me, why you never talk to me anymore, why you won’t even let me into your apartment,” Derek snapped out and Peter suddenly seemed tired.
“If I let you inside, everything’s going to smell like you. And I’m not sure I can stand that.”
“Oh. Yeah, sure, that makes sense,” he weakly said even though it didn’t, and he took a step back. “I’m just going to leave then.”
“I love you,” Peter said suddenly and effectively froze Derek on the spot.
It was hard to breathe for a second, hope and the immediately following disappointment enough to almost make Derek physically sick.
“Why would you lie to me like that?” Derek said under his breath, and he hated how his hands shook, how a small part of him clung to that like it was a lifeline.
“I’m not lying, sweetheart,” Peter told him gently and stepped aside to let Derek into the apartment. “I don’t want to do this in the hallway.”
“Fine,” Derek snapped out and stepped into the apartment, almost shouldering Peter to the side, but he didn’t step further into the room. He didn’t feel welcome and he wasn’t particularly keen to change that right now.
“Talk,” Derek demanded, and Peter sighed.
“You’re my mate,” Peter started, and Derek already wished that he would stop talking.
“Don’t,” he said angrily, because it was everything Derek wanted, but didn’t believe.
“You are,” Peter said again, “I knew from the moment you were born. You wouldn’t know, wouldn’t know the difference, because that bond was always there for you.”
“Then why do you hate me?”
“If you won’t stop lying, then I’ll leave,” Derek threatened.
“I’m not lying. You’re my mate. I love you, and I am so sorry I ever made you think anything else, but I couldn’t be around you anymore.”
“What did I do?” Derek said, voice breaking around the words and Peter sighed.
“You turned thirteen. And I lost the ability to look at you and not have sexual thoughts,” Peter admitted and wasn’t quite able to look Derek into the eyes. “So I thought it would be better to put some distance between us.”
“That’s the reason you didn’t want to train me as left hand?” Derek asked, because that didn’t even make sense.
Why would Peter deny him a place in Laura’s pack?
“You’re not cut out for that work,” Peter explained, “it wasn’t a lie when I’ve said that. You’re not made for the position as left hand. You’re a much better right hand, and I didn’t want that position to ruin you.”
Not like it ruined me, Derek heard even though Peter didn’t say it.
“And you didn’t let me live with you because then I would have been in your space,” Derek said, understanding finally dawning on him.
“But, Peter, I’m nineteen now.”
“I know that,” Peter sighed. “It just didn’t quite compute yet, I think. It’s a theoretical knowledge,” Peter admitted.
“So you love me,” Derek said again, mostly just to try the words out, and Peter nodded.
“You know I love you too, right?” Derek wanted to know, but going by the wide-eyed look Peter threw him, that hadn’t been clear at all.
“You’re still so young, pup,” Peter said, and Derek rolled his eyes.
“I’m an adult, Peter. I know what I feel. You think I might not, because I have always felt the bond, but I still know what I feel.”
Peter didn’t outright scoff, but Derek could still tell that he didn’t believe one word Derek said.
“Alright, you know what?” Derek asked and stepped further into Peter’s space, causing him to take a step back. “Here’s what I know about what I feel.”
Peter’s eyes widened at Derek’s angry tone, but he stood his ground. He was pressed up against a wall, though, and Derek suspected that he would like nothing more than to run away from Derek. Derek wouldn’t let him.
“I know that when someone talks about the person they love, I think about you,” Derek started and took another step towards Peter. “I know that one of my substitute teachers wanted me, and I couldn’t care less. And you know why?”
Derek waited for a few seconds, giving Peter the opportunity to answer, but when he stayed silent Derek took another step when he continued.
“Because when she shoved her cleavage in my face, and her hair fell down,” Derek totally did not shiver when Peter growled at that, “all I could think was that she didn’t smell like you.”
“Derek,” Peter tried, and Derek delighted in how rough his voice was right now.
“I know that ever since I started masturbating, you’re all I think about. I can barely get it up for porn, because they are not you.”
Peter’s eyes flashed blue at that, and Derek felt smug as hell, being able to get that reaction from Peter by just talking to him.
“I know that I got accepted to several universities, some with a full scholarship even, and yet I came here, even though you haven’t looked at me in almost three years now.”
Peter was lowly growling now and Derek could see that his hands were twitching, Peter clearly desperate to reach out for him and Derek stalked up to him until their chests brushed together.
“What else do you need me to say to believe that you’re it for me?”
“Say it again,” Peter rasped out and Derek felt his own eyes flare when he noticed that Peter had slightly lost control of his shift.
“I love you, Peter,” Derek said immediately, knowing instantly what Peter wanted.
Peter took a shuddering breath at that, and Derek was so tired of waiting for him to finally take the first step. It was time to do it himself.
So Derek bridged that last gap between them, catching Peter’s lips and pressed against him. Peter groaned into his mouth and Derek took immediate advantage of that, relishing in the way Peter was so clearly desperate for everything Derek was giving him.
“Okay,” Peter panted when they parted long minutes later. “I believe you. Where the fuck did you learn to kiss like this?”
“Stiles is a very good friend,” Derek said, trying not to laugh when Peter outright growled at him.
“He can keep his fucking distance now,” Peter said lowly, sending a shiver down Derek’s back with the clearly possessive note.
“Don’t worry,” Derek told him, dragging his nose up Peter’s neck and scenting him. “He has his eyes set on Chris Argent. And besides,” Derek whispered conspiratorially. “You’re gonna be my first for everything else.”
“Good,” Peter said possessively and immediately pulled Derek close again, kissing the breath right out of him.
Derek was far from complaining; it was everything he had ever wanted after all.
