#bad vent

[aleeavian]

Tw: hard vent.

I'm so tired of myself and my mother

Awhile ago, note, almost two damn weeks ago, probably, my mother took photos of my sister, my dad and I. We were going to like a dad-daughter thing. I wasn't happy I was going as a "daughter" but I was glad I could wear dress pants and a button-up.

She took multiple photos, said nothing about them and we went to the party.

There were professional photos there that we took. My cousin said I was smiling, and she could second it, so my mother couldn't be mad. And then we took another photo for some lady my dad knew.

Two weeks. Multiple photos.

Today, she stopped me and showed me one. A single photo. She said I wasn't smiling. Sure, it wasn't large, but it wasn't a fucking frown.

"So since this photo was another "fuck you, I don't respect you, mom" photo, I don't care if you have your phone. At your graduation, you take photos with every one of your relatives, and if you don't smile in every. Single. One, then I will take your phone and give it back whenever I feel like it."

"yes ma'am."

Why? She didn't even show me any other photo, obviously they're fine, right? Why isn't that enough? Why is all she wants from me is a pretty smile and otherwise I'm fucking useless? This is why I didn't smile for years. I hate my face, my smile, I hate it.

But of course she wouldn't understand what it's like to grow up hating yourself enough you want to rip your whole being apart to find something interesting. I'm useless.

[badbadbadromance]

I'm a Pisces moon in a world that calls true love obsessive, creepy, and yandere.

I write poems for people and sing their praises, only to get shot down as "too much".

I get told by one of my friends that I have to wait half a year before I can express my true devotion to someone. Half a fucking year! Whatever happened to real love?

I hate modern love. I hate it with a burning passion. I hate humiliationships and I hate having to wait half a fucking year just to write a fucking poem to someone.

Why can't we live in an era where poems and passion are praised, rather than burnt at the stake as heretics?

My friends won't understand. You all will. You'll all understand my agony regarding modern love and its treacherous ways.

[mentally-decaying-screaming]

I want to bang my head so hard against the wall that my fucking brain spills onto the floor so that I don’t have to think about being such a goddamn nuisance and being such a horrible person. My parents hate me, don’t they. Why wouldn’t they. I deserve to die. I wish I was dead. But I don’t. Is that selfish?

Are they selfish? I try. I do. Fuck fuck fuck fuck I can’t do this shit anymore

[allupinmygrille]

Via @flashman on twitter:

'Here's a design I haven't seen before: terracotta, stamped R Fowler Sydney, 278 & 280 Maitland Rd, Mayfield (1923 & 1921).’ https://twitter.com/flashman/status/986059610854383616

Yes, these look familiar but I don't think I’ve featured any extruding-shelter vents yet on this blog. They’re an elaborate design variation with a bit of a modern look to them. I like them a lot.

Note the bad mechanical vent in the third picture, again made by an installer on a budget and under time pressure, using the ‘angle grind a hole and knock off early’ method. Oh well.

[allupinmygrille]

Mechanical exhaust vents, via @flashman on twitter.

These are bad vents, installed badly. The vent itself is obviously designed for installation onto another housing or onto material fixed by screws (as it seems to be at the bottom, though it’s unclear to what). Mostly, the placement of the vent in the wall is wrong; it’s required extensive, ugly, and irreversible brick cutting. If the builder had just lowered the vent by 10mm or 15mm, and used a mortar removal tool instead of just reaching for the brick cutter, then this could have been installed a lot more attractively. 

[vampire-coffin-shaker]

Family Drama=My Family

Finally reached that point again. The point where I'm suicidal because of my family. I need out, like now. I shouldn't be emotionally abused from everyone. My dad, I have nightmares where he hits me, he's never hit me. My mom, I'm starting to get nightmares of her doing the same thing. She also has really bad meltdowns about the smallest thing. My sister Sam, she hits me at least once a day, half the time its in a playful way it doesn't feel like it though. My sister Erin, is careful and tries not to hurt me, she probably doesn't believe me and that hurts. They all have their things that suck. And its even worse because I overlook what everyone except my father does. I'm honestly the only one who can see he's the bad guy. So yeah my family sucks and I'm sorry you all have to listen to me complain.

[jess-equals-trash]

there is literally a bottle of my medication and I am personally debating whether or not to swallow about half of it.