not feeling up to it aabahagahh

[mentally-decaying-screaming]

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I’m too easily jealous. I wish had other people. People who I feel happy around. They’re all across the world. I deleted my other account for venting because I thought maybe my parents wouldn’t make me want to rip my head off. Haha, I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I’m a horrible child. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong.

[mentally-decaying-screaming]

I want to bang my head so hard against the wall that my fucking brain spills onto the floor so that I don’t have to think about being such a goddamn nuisance and being such a horrible person. My parents hate me, don’t they. Why wouldn’t they. I deserve to die. I wish I was dead. But I don’t. Is that selfish?

Are they selfish? I try. I do. Fuck fuck fuck fuck I can’t do this shit anymore