⟶ Everyone told you to be careful with dealing with him, that nothing good can come from getting involved with Namjoon, and you knew that, but you just couldn’t help but keep coming back like an ant to a syrupy dessert. Now here you were, stuck in his web of lies. Will you stay and let his darkness consume you, or will you break him free from his pain?
✮⋆˙ pairings: kim namjoom x female reader, eunwoo x female reader
✮⋆˙ word count: 3,200+
✮⋆˙ warnings + tags: substance use, profanity, p in v, mentions of toxic relationships, namjoon is a fuck boy and a d!ck in the beginning, lots of making out, situationship woes, love triangle, infatuated!oc, badboy!namjoon, conflicting emotions, love triangle, jealous namjoon, oral pleasure (m! recieving), dom! namjoon, shy!oc, power imbalance, angry sex, mirror sex, shower sex, sex against the wall, sleepy sex
✮⋆˙ notes: hi!! To celebrate my success in snagging two tickets to the world tour, I decided to create this series. I just want to preface that Namjoon in this is meant to be written as a complex character; he isn't, by any means, either good or bad, and he's not, by any means, abusive. He's just a man who has seen his world shatter way more times than any person should, and instead of getting help, he relied on toxic defense mechanisms. He would follow the archetype of 'hurt people hurt people.'
Poisonous Touch is a story about having to face the hard truths that make you feel like your soul is being pulled out of your chest cavity, it's about learning and growing from those dark parts of yourself that you try covering up and ignoring. At its core, it is truly about the right person, wrong time.
I hope you enjoy it.
© jooniesthigh All Rights Reserved. No copying, modifying or translating allowed.
the banner was created by me!!
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Episode 01: THE LAMB AND THE SHEPHERD
Mornings at Yonsei University were something out of a romance drama; it was easy to envision yourself as the main character with the attention of all the boys on campus. Unfortunately, this isn't a drama, and no guys at Yonsei University were fawning over me, at least none that mattered.
As I made my way across campus, trying my best to hurry since I had forgotten to bring a thicker jacket, I was greeted by brisk air kissing my cheeks, as the sun, with little effort, tried to warm my chill-soaked skin.
Many students were also making their way to classes like me, but were not in a big hurry like I was; they were walking at a pace of spirits, moving slowly, making no haste to reach their destinations quickly.
I made a mental note to myself to always make sure to check the weather before leaving my apartment, as I felt the kisses from the air switch to that of nips across my flesh.
I suddenly felt myself being pulled back, as if I were being yanked away by a sentient tree branch, which made me make an unattractive squawk.
"Haven't you heard of keeping your hands to yourself?" I asked, irritated slightly as I turned my head towards whoever pulled me back.
I was greeted with the image of Jimin trying his best to seem innocent, as if he didn't give me minor whiplash.
"That wasn't nice, Jimin! I'm freezing out here." I whined as I tried to continue onwards, but was again yanked backwards by his grip on the back of my shirt.
"Well, it's not my fault you came to school with a light cardigan, dumbie." He chastised playfully as he handed me a jacket, most likely one of his.
When I placed the jacket over my thin cardigan, I was greeted with Jimin's signature scent, Jo Malone's Orange Blossom. This scent will always make me feel at ease; it's extremely grounding, since Jimin has been wearing it since we were freshmen when we met.
"Thank you, Jiminie," I said warmly as I pulled the jacket closer to my body as we walked together towards our destinations. Jimin was headed to a class that focused on Cultural Management & Industry Studies, while I was taking a workshop on Performing Arts.
"How is everyone handling the new school year?" I asked as we passed a few of your classmates, waving briefly before continuing on.
"Don't you mean, how is Namjoon handling the new school year?" Jimin threw back at me, his words dripping in lightheartedness.
"Not just him, I want to know how everyone is faring!" I exclaimed, my voice wavering slightly as I chewed on my plump bottom lip anxiously.
"Well, I'm doing great this year, thanks for asking." Jimin said with a smirk before continuing with, "I really don't know why you're so infatuated with Namjoon."
"I'm not infatuated with Namjoon, I'm just being nice since you're friends with him," I explained with a sigh escaping as I ran my fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, he's my friend, and trust me, you don't wanna get roped into his games," He warned as his eyes transformed into pools of worry.
"Look, I would love to continue this conversation, but I gotta head to class, but don't worry, I'm a smart girl," I said with a warm smile as we went our separate ways.
As I made my way to the workshop, I couldn't help but stray to my deep mind. I went back to my conversation with Jimin. I understood where he was coming from, but it still hurt me to think he wasn't confident in my willpower, as if I would just fold to every command Namjoon threw my way.
I shook my head to free myself from the shackles of my overthinking. As I walked into the room, I noticed I was still pretty early, I came ten minutes earlier than necessary.
I made my way to the U-shaped table in the middle of the room. There was only one other person in the room, and he was peacefully snoozing; he honestly reminded me of Kook in that way.
I chose to sit two spaces away from him to avoid invading his personal space, and in my attempt to silently pull out my chair, I managed to make it scrape so loudly it echoed off the room's walls.
I could hear the stranger shift in his seat. I figured it would be polite to apologize for waking him rudely.
As I turn to apologize, my tongue dries up in my mouth and I can't help but stare. I am coming face-to-face with God's greatest creation; he looks as though he were crafted with the highest quality of marble. His eyes were rich shades of brown, like two cups of coffee, and he had angular, sharp cheekbones with a slim, tall nose resting in the center of his face.
After I realized I had been ogling at this man for a good chunk of time, I felt my face heat up as I lowered my face slightly to hide my red cheeks and said, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't trying to disturb you."
I picked my face back up slightly as I heard his soft chuckles and just in time to witness his warm smile.
"It's no harm, honestly, that is on me for choosing to nap in a classroom. I'm Eunwoo, by the way." He said as he reached his hand over, to which I took it into my own and shook it. His grip was warm and firm with just the right amount of pressure.
"I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you," I replied sincerely as I released his hand.
"It's still kind of early for class. Why'd you come so early?" Eunwoo asked as he stretched a bit in his seat.
"One of my friends was teasing me," I say as I take a seat closer to Eunwoo.
Which made Eunwoo laugh, and we spent the rest of the time before class started getting to know each other. I learned quite a bit about him, like his favorite color is blue and that he loves playing guitar and piano.
As other students started to make their way into the workshop, our conversation died down a bit, but our eyes still met. It was honestly hard to break the intense eye contact.
"Welcome to the only class that I expect you to fail. If you fail, that is fantastic! My name is Professor Kwon, and this is where things become uncomfortable." Our professor bellows out as he moves around the classroom, eyes scanning all over the room as if he were commanding our attention to be on him.
The silence that follows his introduction is deafening.
"Today, we will be doing an exercise on intimacy training, so go ahead and partner up with your neighbor and get your scenes from me afterwards." He announces as he walks past Euwoo and me.
Eunwoo and I look back at one another, our eyes in a sensual tango.
"Looks like we'll be partnering up then," he responds with a smile.
"Looks like it, just don't make me look like a fool and we'll get along." I joke as I reciprocate his smile.
"I would never make you look like a fool. Let me go get our scene, though." He says as he gets out of his seat before heading towards the front.
"I can't believe she got paired up with Eunwoo," I heard one of the girls whisper loudly. I think her name is Joy. I don't really know her —she's pretty dramatic, but kind, and I guess really likes Eunwoo.
Nothing really came from their whispers, but they seemed to vanish completely when Eunwoo returned. Though they were replaced by puppy-dog stares directed at my scene partner.
When he returned, he slid the scene card towards me as he took his seat.
"Hopefully, you're a fan of Romeo and Juliet," he said teasingly with a lopsided grin that added a boyish charm to his appearance.
"Would you be surprised if I told you I have never seen any piece of Romeo and Juliet media?" I asked as I read the scene card.
"For some reason that doesn't surprise me, you seem like the kind of person to be skeptical of romance," he said as he leaned his face against the palm of his hand, a smile curving onto his face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked as I twisted my head in his direction, furrowing my brows slightly.
Suddenly, Eunwoo moved his chair closer to my own and leaned closer to my body. I could feel his hot breath against my earlobe as he said, "I'd love to see what's behind that skeptical look of yours."
I could feel my face warm up under his gaze as the sound of my accelerating heartbeat was pounding in my ears. My gaze shifted from his eyes, which were like two orbs of molten chocolate, down to his lips, which looked plump as his tongue flicked outward to slide across the surface.
As I brought my eyes back towards his smoldering gaze, I realized I'd been caught like a child found with their hand in a cookie jar.
"See something you like?" He questioned with a smirk that showed off his dimples.
"I'm just enjoying the view. Is there something wrong with that?" I question as I play with a long strand of my hair.
Eunwoo just chucked as his lips curved upwards into a soft smile before saying, "Nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you keep this up, we'll ace this intimacy training exercise."
At the mention of the exercise, I am brought back to reality. I can't believe I let this flirtatious number take over my mind. It was as if my mind was attempting to bottle up Eunwoo's intoxicating energy as if to save it for a rainy day.
"So, how do you think we should do this scene?" I asked, trying to play it cool, as if my heart wasn't still hammering.
"I have a few ideas." He said, turning his attention to the scene card.
"So, this scene is one of the more iconic love confessions — it was truly revolutionary during its time." He explained, his gaze shifting between the scene card and me.
"So, I've heard, but what made it so revolutionary?"
"It shifted the focus from familial authority to individualized desire. It redefined romantic love in literature, putting more emphasis on mutual pining, passion, and immediate commitment." He said as he reached over and played with a strand of my hair, keeping eye contact with me. It was as if everyone else in this room just vanished.
"Okay, now that everyone has had a chance to read over their scene cards. We'll have a few people perform for us. Any volunteers?" Our professor announced from the front of the class, looking around for volunteers.
A good handful of people raised their arms eagerly. I recognized some of the ones picked. So far, Professor Kwon had picked Joy and her partner, Yerin, Yeosang and his partner, Jiyoon.
Honestly, I respected their bravery. I would've volunteered, but I wasn't super confident in my delivery of the scene card we received.
"Thank you for volunteering, Eunwoo and Y/N."
As I turned to Eunwoo, I could see him there with his hand raised and a cocky grin painted across his face.
The real cherry on top was the way he looked at me with such innocence, as if he hadn't just signed away my dignity.
"Don't forget to breathe. We wouldn't want you passing out." He whispered softly.
I blew out a breath as we watched the first two performances. Yeosang and Jiyoon did a comedic scene from the film Step Brothers, playing Dale and Alice. Before their scene, they touch on consent and boundaries since it featured over-the-top, humorous behavior, high energy, and constant physical contact.
Next, we watched Joy and Yemin perform a scene from Booksmart, in which they played Hope and Amy. Before their scene, they did the same thing Yeosang and Jiyoon did. Their scene touched on a kissing scene at a party; there was tension and nervous energy, as well as room for exploration, before initiating physical contact.
And now it was our turn to perform. As we walked up to the front of class, I could feel all eyes on Eunwoo and me as he reached downward to put my hand in his.
His hand was warm like sun-soaked sand on a beach.
"Just start whenever you both are ready." Professor Kwon said as he rested his head atop his hands.
I let my eyes scan over the entire room before letting them fall back into Eunwoo's gaze. It was as if he were soothing my soul with just a single like, as if he were telling me it would all be fine.
"Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say aye, and I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st thou mayst prove false." I say as I caress his face with my hands, bringing him closer to my eye level.
"Gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully."
"By yonder blessed moon I vow, that tips of silver that all the fruit tree tops." Euwoo starts to say before I press my finger to his lips to silence him, endearingly.
"Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon? That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest thest that thy love prove likewise variable." I say as I attempt to put some distance between us, as I run my fingers through my hair.
"What shall I swear by?" He questions as his eyes stare into my own as if they are sharing years' worth of love confessions in that small moment.
"Do not swear at all. Although I joy in thee, I've no joy in this contract tonight. It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden, too like the lightning, which doth cease to be ere one cay it lightens." I say as I attempt to leave the space filled with Eunwoo's explosive energy.
"Sweet, good night," I say as I go to retreat, but I am stopped by Eunwoo's hand gripping my own in desperation.
"Wil thou leave me so unsatisfied?" He questions, sounded almost desperate for more of my attention.
"What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?" I question as I smile toward him in a look of admiration.
"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine." He says as he rubs his thumb across the top of my hand.
"I gave thee mine, before thou didst request it. And yet I would it were to give again." I say as I move close towards Eunwoo, staring at him as if he were the only man in my life.
"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love? He asks as he cups my face and caresses his thumb across my cheek.
"But to be frank and give it to thee again. And yet, I wish but for the thing I have." I say as I lean my face closer to his, our lips mere meters apart.
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep, the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite," I say against his lips softly while I gaze into his eyes. Everything is quiet — it's like we are the only two in this room.
A knocking sound is the only thing that has us breaking away from each other. It turns out to be Professor Kwon, the nurse, knocking on Juliet's door from the scene card.
"Wow, that was fantastic, baby! What a perfect example of chemistry. I could taste the desire just coming off of you both." Professor Kwon exclaimed ecstatically, clapping his hands, and the class joined soon after.
After thanking Professor Kwon for his kind words, the bell went off, signaling that the first class had ended.
"Alright, everyone, amazing performances, and starting tomorrow, the rest of the class will be taking turns performing." He said as he dismissed us to prepare for his next class.
As Eunwoo and I headed back to our seats to grab our stuff, I went ahead and poked him lightly on the side before saying, "I can't believe you volunteered us. I was so nervous."
"You had no reason to be, I knew you would do amazing." He said, bumping his hip against mine, the contact sent a shock of electricity down my spine.
"You say that like you've seen me perform before," I say jokingly as we make it to our stuff.
"I have, I was with Jungkook when you did A Midsummer Night's Dream with the Seoul Shakespeare Company." He told me as we received our items, then made our way towards the door.
"I'm surprised Kook never told me," I say honestly, feeling shocked that I was kept out of the loop.
"I begged him not to, I wanted to make a good first impression on my terms," he said, looking down at me with warmth cascading from his gaze.
"Well, you definitely made an impression," I said as I smiled at him as we exited the classroom.
"I'm glad to hear that. Where's your next class?" He asks as we walk down the hall aimlessly, as if passing the time by.
"I have a dance class next," I answer, surely this man won't walk me to my class.
"Oh, that's perfect, I can walk you, my class is in the same area as yours," Eunwoo chirped as he grabbed my hand and walked us towards the proper area for our classes.
On the way there, I noticed a few familiar faces like Jungkook leaning against a locker with the biggest grin, staring straight at us with Jimin alongside him with a facial expression I have never seen in my life. He looks like he was witnessing a dog breakdance in a church.
I knew I would definitely get hounded by Jimin either in Dance or at lunch — there would be no escaping his wrath.
Just as we were about to make a turn into a hallway, we passed by two people I just couldn't ignore. Against the wall nearby were Namjoon and Hyuna. It seems they were in a deep conversation, a sensual one at that, based on Namjoon's body language. He had Hyuna up against the wall, keeping her closed in with his hands on both sides of her face.
I knew it shouldn't bother me, but I couldn't stop the jealousy from tightening around my stomach. Namjoon was fear to flirt with whomever he wanted to, same went for me.
As we entered the hallway that led us to the Dance sector of the Performing Arts building, I tightened my hold on Eunwoo's hand.
"Everything okay back there?" He asked as he squeezed my hand twice, as if trying to calm my nerves.
"I'm just nervous, that's all," I said, which wasn't a lie because I honestly was nervous.
When we finally arrived at my class, Eunwoo raised my hand towards his lips and pressed a soft kiss on top of my hand.
"I know you're not just nervous about dance class. Something upset you, but I won't push you on it, though," he said as he caressed my cheek lightly.
"I'll see you later, Juliet. I'm gonna give you this, though, in case you need anything," he said as he handed me a folded-up piece of paper.
