”But here's the thing, cats don't care as much about ages when it come to those things.”
YESSSS THANK UUUUU I luv dis, it feels more in character 4 the books in a way i like :3c (Brambleclaw and Squirrelpaw, Fernpaw and Dustpelt, etc etc blah blah)
Okay well, let's back up a bit. I do NOT think the way the books handle age gaps is something I want to hold up as the better way to do it. I especially think it's not great that both the relationships you mentioned include a literal child/apprentice.
Like, Ferncloud and Dustpelt especially is a relationship that I don't like in the books even if it's been so long since I read them that I can't provide specific details as to why. I feel like Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight could have been okay given that he was a brand new warrior when she was an apprentice but they also happen to have one of the most, if not THE most, abusive dynamics in the entire series, in part because Brambleclaw/star has so much power over Squirrelflight.
When I say cats don't care as much about ages what I mean is that their society is less stratified by age, like once you become an adult you have the same rights and privileges and opportunities as every other adult. There aren't years where you're going through college, there arent 40 year olds with a lot of wealth and power. Every adult cat, at least in the Clans, is on basically the same footing as far as societal power goes. Yes, there is a level of respect gained as you age and gain more experience but I still think it doesn't translate into a huge power imbalance, at least in my story.
So once a cat is an adult it means that they are on even footing with the other adults and therefore even if theyre like 20 moons and their mate is 50 there's not a huge power imbalance there which is the main problem that comes with age gaps. I did not mean to imply that relationships between warriors and apprentices were okay with me in any way. I think if you took that from what I said you might need to evaluate what kinds of messages the works you consumed as a kid, like Warrior Cats, taught you specifically in regards to romantic relationships. Cause warriors is not perfect and at sometimes it's actively harmful in the way it normalizes these kinds of things.