#banner time

[bannerthyme]

"oh the heated rivalry fandom sucks because it's too many people's first fandom" is true but so is the fact that a lot of people who HAVE fandom experience before hr took off also treat being online as if they're influencers instead of you know... fandom community members. it's some weird rat race to the top of being a "big name fan" instead of a participant of the fandom. people lack decorum, yeah, that's been happening for years. but shit like posting screenshots of fics without the link, or posting snippets of fic with no context and refusing to take it down even though the post is causing harm to the author because oh no! the tweet got popular my clout. what do i do without my clout! no fulfillment for anybody. absolutely ridiculous.

[bannerthyme]

love hiding on my tumblr to yap abt my fic ideas but back to the sci-fi fic being a tragedy. it's the way that yuna clocks that her son is gay for this random russian man pretty quickly and wonders if that's why he had a "breakdown" about hockey bc she knows how hockey rooms are. except the bond shane and ilya have goes so much deeper than that. shane found this lost cosmonaut hundreds of lightyears away from earth and brought him home because he was scared of losing him. shane is the first person since ilya's mother to want ilya alive, to have taken care of him. and ilya is dying; he is a walking supernova and part space and part man and a walking cosmic mistake and shane chooses to die with him because he feels like a cosmic mistake too and maybe he can exist in the stars with ilya. maybe they can exist there forever where nobody and touch them and put them in harm's way ever again.

[bannerthyme]

hiding on my tumblr to vent abt the comment bc only a couple hr ppl follow me here but like. the trans!ilya fic was such a labor of love that im honestly a little shocked that what someone got out of it was: "doesn't ilya being trans take away from shane's canonical sexuality" like first of all. it's a fanfiction. if i wanted to write ilya mtf getting the world's best boob job and shane becoming a tits guys bc he loves ilya rozanov before he loves men is my business. second of all, the ENTIRE FIC is about shane being like. but im gay. im gay? im gay but i love you. OH WIAT UR A MAN LMAO IM STILL GAY!!! furthermore, left whether or not ilya transitions vague on purpose bc in my own head, he wouldn't' start transitioning until he's in his 40's at the earliest bc he LIKES BEING A DANCER! THESE THINGS ARE AT WAR WITH EACH OTHER. AND SHANE SEES HIM AS A MAN AND CALLS HIM HIS BOYFRIEND SO ILYA CAN TOLERATE THE REST OF THE WORLD SEEING HIM DIFFERENTLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER

[bannerthyme]

from purely the perspective of someone who came from writing comic book fanfics and uh not much else. i am forever grateful that at least one of my fics (and now too, holy fuck) hasn't breached containment across other social media sites but people still interact with me about my work. i really wrote it had to be you in a fever dream state at my second job and it was mostly just for me and the knowledge that ppl have seen themselves in my work matters so much more to me than like. stats.

[bannerthyme]

i will say i was parasocial enough to buy some skincare from hudson's routine and the two products i got have quite literally improved my skin within a single month of use so like.