What Happened to you? | Steve Harrington x Shy!Reader
Part 2
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requested/summary: Steve Harrington x shy!reader angst. Steve is still in love with Nancy but reader loves Steve.
warnings: Steve is a complete and utter jerk, gaslighting, Nancy is just as much of a jerk, Barb lives!! Angst allll the way. Didn’t proofread.
word count: 2k
Steve Harrington wasn't a stranger or some guy you met at Hawkins High; you and Steve knew each other when you were drawing with crayons and still needed your stabilisers on your bikes. You were there when he turned seven, eight, and nine, and Steve was there when you turned thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen.
Growing up with Steve gave you the best childhood memories that you looked back on through numerous photo albums and diary entries. You were always the quieter one in the duo, easily embarrassed and quick to hide away; Steve was the complete opposite and used his outgoing nature to protect you from bullies and awkward situations as the two of you grew older.
Throughout your time at Hawkins High, you couldn't stop your feelings for Steve from growing; the tiny bud inside you blossomed into this big and beautiful flower. Steve's hazel eyes and charming smile made you melt inside, his relaxed tone made you feel at home, and he always knew just how to make you laugh on a bad day; but over time, as Steve picked everyone else but you, the petals would start to fall, and your flower would wilt and die.
When Steve first started pursuing Nancy, the rides home together would stop abruptly, he was no longer interested in studying with you, and he didn't pick up the phone unless he was expecting a call from Nancy.
The sudden radio silence made your stomach turn, your forehead broke out into beads of sweat, and you drove yourself up the wall, going over and over in your head what you could have possibly done wrong to cause such a drastic change; it was like you were going through a death in the family. Giving Steve the benefit of the doubt, one evening when you were missing him terribly, you picked up the phone and dialled his number.
"Nance!" He said excitedly, with a large smile spreading across his face.
Your eyes widened, and you pursed your lips and started to panic, your heart thumping with such force it could break through your chest.
Do I put the phone down? Do I not? What am I meant to do?
"Uh, no," you said quietly, your cheeks going red, "it's y/n.."
"Why are you calling me?" Steve snapped, his tone becoming harsh and cold, "Nancy is meant to be calling any minute."
"Oh," you paused and tried to swallow the golfball-sized lump down from your throat, "I'm sorry, I just-"
Steve slammed the phone down, and you were left with the obnoxious humming of the phone. Your bottom lip quivered, and you let out a shaky breath and started to cry. Putting down the phone, you crawled into bed and cried yourself to sleep that night, and many nights after that.
What happened to the Steve who protected you from bullies?
Why did Steve change from the kind and confident friend who helped you find your feet?
You felt as if you were being punished; you didn't even know why. You always supported Steve, and even when he messed up, you were always quick to brush it off and unable to hold him accountable for his shitty comments or jabs. Steve's change in behaviour could be blamed on Tommy and Carol; you wanted to believe that, but deep down you knew that this change in behaviour stemmed from his undying loyalty to Nancy.
With each soft and low "Good morning, Steve," , "See you in class, Steve," you said to him when passing each other down the halls, he completely blanked you and went on wrapping his arm around Nancy and making her laugh, most likely at your expense.
It was no use trying to convince yourself that he couldn't hear you well enough or that he didn't see you; he knew you better than anyone and could pick you out of a crowd of hundreds; you were in each other's lives longer than you were apart.
You were tired of his rejection and carelessness towards your friendship so you got the message and vanished from his life; you started getting the school bus home, and studied alone in the bathroom stall rather than the library, you avoided him at his annual family BBQ pretnding that you were struggling with food poisioning or a bad migraine; you could easily fool your parents but Steve didn't notice your absence anyway even when your parents apologised for your missing out.
Over the Summer you forced yourself to read and get out of the house more, you went for long walks with your walkman, taking in the beauty around you. The more and more you focused on other beautiful things in the world, the more you started to recover and move on from Steve. Your family took you to Enzos for your birthday (you had to beg them not to invite Steve, no matter how much they begged), and the young waiter took an interest in you. Like you, he was soft and gentle, and incredibly patient.
You were taking things reasonably slow, getting to know one another, going out for walks together and swapping cassettes with little notes of encouragement inside. It felt good to be away, free from Steve, to no longer be walking on egg shells around him, and the flower inside of your stomach was now from a different tree. Until Steve came knocking on your bedroom window.
You jumped out of your slumber when you heard repeated tapping at your window. Being half asleep in the dark only made you more frightened until you recognised the pattern of the tapping. Reluctantly turning on your table lamp and climbing out of bed, you dragged yourself over to the window, slowly peeking through your curtains, hiding your body behind the fabric.
Looking through the window, you were met with Steve, looking worse than when he had to shave his hair off after catching headlice as a child. His eyes were puffy and red, his lips were cracked, and his clothes looked like they needed a good wash.
Opening your bedroom window, Steve launched himself into your room, falling on top of you, his arms wrapped around you, and he buried his tear stained and wet face into your neck. You didn't know what to do; you couldn't shove him away as much as he deserved it, and you certainly couldn't kiss him and tell him how much you missed him. All you could do was hug him back and rub his back, reassuring him.
Maybe he really missed me and wants to be my friend again, or perhaps he's realised what a jerk he's been and has come to apologise before the guilt eats him alive.
"She doesn't love me," Steve sobbed, "Nance left me, and I have no one else to turn to."
Oh, how Steve's knife plunged into your stomach and slowly twisted to the right, you covered your mouth to stop yourself from wincing out in pain.
You were far too kind to send him away now, after all, he had no one else to turn to.
All of the hard work and effort you made into getting over Steve came crashing down around you, and you ripped out the tree inside of you the waiter planted over the Summer so the same old wilted and dying flower could rebloom.
-
You repaired Steve, you gave him his smile back and in return, he gave you himself back. You were back to sitting in the passenger seat of his car every morning and afternoon, you were back to sitting together in the library studying for important tests, and best of all, he spent all night talking to you on the phone.
"I'm so thankful that you called me tonight," you whispered, hoping your parents couldn't hear you from behind the door.
"I love talking to you," Steve replied, yawning down the phone, "It's the best part of my night."
You curled the phone cord around your index finger, "Well, sleepy Steve, get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Sleep well, Y/N,"
You were seconds away from putting down the phone when Steve called out your name, insisting not hang up.
"Everything okay?" you panicked, quickly bringing the phone back up to your ear.
"Yeah," he chuckled, "Everything's fine, I love you, goodnight." he put the phone down.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
-
You buzzed off those three words for months, and it seemed like giving Steve another chance proved itself to be worth it, but everything came crashing down once again when you overheard a conversation between Nancy and Barb in the girls' restroom. Nancy adjusted the clip in her hair and straightened out her cardigan, looking happily at herself in the mirror. You silently went into a free stall and closed the toilet lid, sitting down and listening to what they were saying.
"So you're seriously getting back with Steve?" Barb asked.
Nancy sighed and leaned against the sink, "Barb, you know how I feel about him and more importantly, you know how he feels about me. He's been begging for me back every night on the phone after I ended things; he even knocked on my front door and brought me flowers."
Nancy and Barb's voices became muffled, and you curled yourself over your knees, scrunching your eyes shut to try and stop the overwhelming flood of tears.
"Isn't he dating-"
"The Mouse?" Nancy laughed, "No, no, no, he's only leading them on to make me jealous. When he pulls up in the parking lot, his eyes are all over me, and when they’re leaving the library, he comes straight back to me, trying to sweet-talk me."
Barb shook her head and had a puzzled expression on her face "Why are you encouraging this? You're not like this, Nancy."
Nancy rolled her eyes, "Oh come on, Barb. It's nothing serious, and they should know that; he's not even forced himself to kiss them. They’ll be fine."
You weren't fine, and you couldn't handle hearing anymore. You knew Steve; he wasn't a liar. He could fabricate the truth innocently if it meant you'd keep the ugly sweater you adored, or felt confident in a hairstyle that just didn't suit you. Steve would never betray you, he said he loved you.
You shot up and out of the bathroom door, holding your head down as you navigated your way over to Steve's car. Your tears dripped down from your eyes and splashed on your shoes and the floor below that felt and looked as if it would open up and swallow you whole. Steve leaned against his car and saw you approaching him, then Nancy following not far behind.
The gig is finally up, he thought.
"S-Steve, please can you tell me the truth?" you cried, your fingers started to pull and pick at the thread in your over-the-shoulder bag.
Steve's eyes froze over, his height towering over you like a horrible grey cloud during a storm, "Is what true?"
You felt incredibly small and weak, you couldn't recognise the man standing in front of you, the lights were on but nobodys home.
"That you love me," you choked out, you scratched the thread even harder and faster, chipping your fingernail, "and that you haven't been trying to win Nancy back all this time."
Steve's silence became deafening, and your stomach turned into a sinkhole, clawing at your heart to try and drag it down into its deep and dark depths.
"What do you expect me to say?" He said coldly, placing his hands on his hips, "Whatever you think is going on between us is all in your head."
Your eyebrows pulled together, and your eyes started to sting from all the crying, your nose started to run, and you wiped the fluid away with your sleeve. This felt like some sort of sick joke, your Steve wouldn't do this to you, not after what he said..
"Please don't do this to me, Steve. What we've shared has, has, been real," you sobbed even harder, "I've loved you ever since I was a little girl."
Steve walked up to you, closer than he ever had before, aside from the night you picked up his broken heart, "and you've been nothing but a burden."
Your legs gave way, and you fell onto your knees in the parking lot, silently sobbing into the palms of your sweaty hands. Each and every memory you fondly looked back on were tarnished, every photo of you and Steve cut like a knife.
"What happened to you?" you whispered.
Steve ignored you and left you behind.
—
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what if when eddie takes his last breath in the upside down, he wakes up in 1983 right before the events of season 1 start. none of the older party has any clue about the upside down yet, dustin and mike are in freaking middle school, and eddie really doesn't know all the details of what took place in 83.
will going missing would be common knowledge, as well as barb. eddie knows that will was stuck in the upside down as it gets mentioned several times in season 4. so eddie knows it starts with will's disappearance.
i've got no clue of what the actual plot should be, but imagine a frantic eddie trying to help even though he really had no idea of where to start. he'd be desperate enough to try and talk to nancy and steve. maybe he'd crash the party to try and talk to them, thus saving barb from her fate. maybe he could run into eleven first, helping her hide from the lab.
of course, dustin believes eddie. nancy and barb do as well after they narrowly escape the demogorgon in the woods while investigating. mike and lucas are willing to believe him if it means saving will. maybe eleven can sense that he's telling the truth or that something happened to him.
the possibilities are endless, but i love the idea of eddie getting thrown back in time and he's immediately like trying to warn everyone about vecna because he'd very much like for no one to get their bones snapped this go around.
would anyone believe him? would he think he's gone crazy? knowing about vecna that much earlier would change so much.
imagine eddie accidentally becomes besties with barb and then nancy too, which is a trio that should be strange as hell but somehow works so well. they're a real paranormal veronica mars vibe.
by interrupting the party, not only does barb not get taken by the demogorgan, nancy and steve don't have sex. theirq relationship doesn't really go anywhere. jon never takes any inappropriate pictures. instead he gets caught snooping around steve's backyard after the party while looking for will. jonathon is visibly upset and frantic about will, which explains why he has the camera...he's trying to find any evidence of what happened.
steve already feeling bad about tommy and carol bullying jon, decides to help him search. they become best friends after steve drops his old friends in defense of jon. nancy and jon never fall in love either since she's busy with eddie and barb solving time travel related mysteries.
since eddie knows about the upside down, he distances himself from the corroded coffin guys. partly because he's busy trying to save the world and partly because he's terrified they'll get dragged into it. they're still friends but eddie spends most of his time with barb and nance, and by proxy steve and jonathan. steve is nothing like eddie expected and he falls fast. steve would be slower because he doesn't even realize he likes guys but he definitely falls harder. it has to be a dreadfully slow burn. like, first kiss post star court or mid vecna showdown slow.
the storyline would be similar in many ways but ultimately diverge pretty drastically as eddie continues to change the timeline.
“Nance!” The reunion was abrupt, two bodies colliding in the middle of the room amidst makeup artists and stylists in a tight hug that wound up with Steve being lifted off of the floor by little miss badass herself, Nancy Wheeler. “Jeez! Hitting the gym much?” He laughed as she set his whole 5’10 stocky mass back down on the carpet.
“Only on the weekends, running around after these idiots is great cardio, keeps me in tip top shape, what’re you doing here?”
“Munson needed a date to this fancy award thing, I got the invite, you know me, love being pampered and showered with attention. I thought you and Barb were in Cali with the Byers?” Even though she and Jonathan weren't dating anymore, both realising they found their best friends way more compatible with themselves than each other, they still had plenty of love for each other, enough to spend a week just getting baked on the beach together once every few months.
“That’s next month after the events season is up, still running ragged this month. These lot have got radio shows tomorrow afternoon and evening, and they’re invited to a premier next weekend for something that used one of their songs in the soundtrack, it’s… hectic. God it’s been…what—”
“Few years since face to face" they'd kept up the catch up phone calls though, their "babies first love" hadn't worked out but they made excellent friends. "You look good Nance…”
“I feel good… less stressed. Weirdly enough.” She didn’t have to deal with asshole bosses and sexism in the workplace, she just had to deal with nerds, and the nerds respected her. “Did Eddie tell you about the whole journalism thing?”
“That you finally told them to go suck several severely unwashed dicks? Not in those exact words but I’m proud of you Nance, I know it’s what you wanted to do but—”
“Sometimes we don’t know what we want until we’ve tried it and it sucks. Barb walked out with me flipping the whole office off, it was glorious.” She finished as he nodded, smiling brightly at the knowledge that Barb had stuck by her in that too, because of course she had, when had Barb ever not stuck by her? “So I see this whole thing is still working out nicely for you” She motioned to the entirety of him as he flourished his hands in a tadah motion. “You look good, it’s a good look on you, this job.” He got paid handsomely for doing something he genuinely enjoyed, he dressed well, he smelled good, he looked like he was worth a lot of money.
“Not to parrot you but, god Nance I feel good too, I’ve been seeing this funny old woman lately, she’s hilarious and her cookie recipe is to die for, if you ever get a moment, you should come with me one day she’ll talk your ear off about the most ridiculous shit.” He adored Gladys, she deserved the world, she was a welcome switch up to the occasional sexual hire he’d get, some people needed a damn good release, others needed to just talk to someone who’d listen.
He enjoyed both kinds of people.
“Okay so is someone going to explain what the hell Steve Harrington is doing in our room?” Gareth finally decided to break the baffled silence that’d fallen over the rest of the Corroded Coffin members as Nancy and Steve caught up like little old ladies meeting for a senior special at the local cafe.
“He’s my date!” Eddie chirped, tone dripping in smug with a grin to match. He’d parked his rear back into his own chair, allowing the stylists they hired to fuss a little more over his hair.
“No really.” Gareth deadpanned “What’s Steve Harrington doing in our room?”
“I just told you!” Eddie squawked indignantly, almost offended at how little Gareth believed in him. “I hired him, yes, but he’s still my date.”
Steve smiled and stepped forward in his defence though, “No he’s right… I am his date for the evening, and I really hope I can start fresh with you guys too, I know I wasn’t the best person in Hawkins, I don’t remember much of it, my memory isn’t great, but Eddie tells me I let some shit happen that I definitely should have put a stop to—” Tommy pushing Jeff into a locker, for example “so, i’m sorry for everything, I am, truly, I really hope you can forgive me.” The last thing he wanted was a tense night around the band.
He wanted to get along with them, not just for the sake of his job, but also because he actually was hitting it off with Eddie, he liked Eddie, Eddie was sweet, and prettier than he remembered any boy in Hawkins ever being.
That being said he really didn’t remember much.
“Okay so. It looks like Steve Harrington, it has Steve Harrington’s voice, and yet it says magical things that couldn’t possibly come from Steve Harringt-ow!” Eddie, thankfully the closest sat next to him, thumped Jeff in the arm “what the hell man?”
“We’re not dumb kids anymore, dude. Everyone’s grown here. Let’s keep the past where it belongs, yeah?”
“Would you say the same shit about Hargrove too?” Now Steve did remember Billy Hargrove, hard to forget a man like Hargrove, giant douchebag, hadn’t thought about him in years though, had no idea where he ended up and didn’t care to think about it. Just knew Nancy’s brother Mike was friends with the guys sister, Max.
Steve actually found himself frowning deeply at the idea that they associated the memory of high school him with Hargrove of all people.
“Ew no, but Steve never actually physically did anything to you, he just kinda… watched it happen, and he only did that once, sure it was still shitty but it ain’t the same and you know it ain’t the same.”
“Listen… I don’t expect forgiveness after a single apology out of nowhere, I didn’t reach out and I don’t even remember what happened, it’s all by sheer coincidence that I’m even here with the opportunity to apologise, but I do have a job to do here, and I intend to do it so I’d really appreciate it if we could at least put that past behind us for tonight, and if you want to hold a grudge, just save it for after the cameras finish rolling, okay? Not for my sake, but for your own. Do you really want the press to spin some bullshit Yoko story about how your front man is spending time with a guy you all hate? How it’s pulling you apart?”
The big one was the first to speak after that, Steve couldn’t remember his name either, but he knew it began with Fr… His brain supplied ‘Freak’ but that probably wasn’t it. “You know about Yoko?”
“I don’t live under a rock.”
“Nah just in a fancy penthouse apartment with a bitchy little Pomeranian and a walkin closet bigger than… than… uh— okay I was gonna say my apartment but I’m rich now so—” Eddie sniggered as Jeff floundered trying to be witty.
“First of all, I have a cat, her name is Mocha and she’s a queen” a severely pampered colourpoint ragdoll currently being fawned over by her usual cat sitters Robin and Vickie “and second this job requires a walk in closet bigger than some houses, do you think a rich client wants to see the same outfit twice? Man I have a whole section dedicated solely to lingerie.” Eddie nearly choked on his own saliva.
Steve in lingerie Steve in lingerie Steve in lingerie Steve in lingerie Steve in lingerie— shit he was still talking.
“Now, are we going to get our stories straight, or are we going to continue wasting time discussing my adolescent character flaws?”
Gareth finally piped up “Man, do you really have a whole closet section dedicated to lingerie?” And Steve just sighed.
A snippet! The full 20k will be released with @neonlaynes for Harringrove Big Bang in February!
“I hear you,” Billy shifted to slam their shoulders together, and yanked his hand loose at Thomas’ stagger, “--would you like to match steel to your words?”
“No! Billy,” Max hissed. “You’ll be thrown out. You’ll miss the dance. Billy.”
“They wouldn’t dream of it,” Thomas bared his teeth in a grin. “An exhibition match, to first blood.” He spun away, shaking his fists in the air, and shouting, “A sword! And a referee!”
“What is this place,” Max whispered to Billy, her eyes shining. “Instead of dancing, we can duel?”
Another antlered person wafted towards them, the silvery train of her dress shining after her. “As it’s my house, I’ll keep watch.” She held out the hilts of two swords, and looked Billy dispassionately up and down. “...they’re dulled, as humans are fragile.”
Thomas struck a stance, his off hand up in a pointlessly stylish wave, and Billy tested his defense. It wasn’t terrible, for a man who smelled more of whiskey with a dash of punch than the reverse, though he was focusing too much on trying to end the duel. Billy raised his eyebrows, dancing away from a wild swipe near his knee. It became apparent pretty quickly he was in no great danger from Thomas, who seemed continually surprised to find his blows blocked, and was beginning to pant as Billy spun to the side, and realized they’d been surrounded. The dancing had stopped. Harrington was watching, and Billy called for a pause, and stripped out of his jacket, tossing it to Max, who glared at him, then rolled her eyes, crossing her arms instead of reaching for the jacket. Harrington reached and caught it, grin wide, and Billy bowed again, then pointed his sword, holding Harrington’s gaze. “For you.”
Harrington laughed, shaking his head, but saluted back--and then Thomas was attacking, again.
