FF7 x Reader
Annoying things about being in a relationship with them
Rufus Shinra
He knows how to clean surprisingly decently because of his time confined to Turk HQ in Before Crisis but stubbornly refuses to do certain things. It's 'beneath him'
Even if you're on birth control or otherwise can't get pregnant, it doesn't matter. He's wearing a condom and how dare you suggest otherwise
He takes up all the space in the closet because of all the layers he insists on wearing
He insists on taking his dog everywhere, even if you explain it terrifies some people. For example: your poor parents
Rude
There's a third wheel in this relationship and his name starts with a Re and ends with a No
Rude is very romantic. However, he only barely has time so his gestures happen spontaneously and it's hard to plan around his schedule
Often comes home with injuries and you're the one who has to patch him up and worry about him. He doesn't worry about himself
He prefers to show not tell. You have to learn how to read him with a glance
Reno
There's a third wheel in this relationship and his name is Rude
His insecurity randomly spikes and he gets mega jealous, sometimes with threats at the offending party
Very loud. All the time
Gets broody about things he has to do at work and sometimes nothing you do will help
Gets whiney when you don't have the stamina to have sex all damned night
Cloud
Cannot communicate his needs. Does not know what his needs are. WHAT ARE NEEDS?
Everyone flirts with him but if you try to talk to him about it, he never noticed the flirting in the first place
Sometimes cute animals follow him home and oops, one day you have seven cats, fifteen chickens, four dogs, several chocobos, and one of those giant elephant fiends because it was injured and alone. You didn't sign up to live at a zoo but here you are, shoveling elephant shit every day
Occasionally, one of his hair spikes stab you straight in the eye when he's being the little spoon
Barret
Thinks he can fix everything himself when sometimes you just need him to listen
Like Reno, Barret can be quite loud. If you like peace, sometimes you have to take some space. It makes the big guy sad
Not very detail-oriented. Leaves little things like ammo all over the garage/shed floor and small bits of trash all over the house. He meant to pick it up, honest!
Occasionally breaks the bed
Tseng
You can't be spontaneous for shit because he anticipates everything
He has certain cleaning standards but he doesn't always tell you. He just redoes it himself
Must be the one to clean and iron his suit himself or he will get annoyed
His handwriting is annoyingly perfect and it makes you feel bad about your chicken scratch
Elena
Puts herself in danger way too often. She doesn't understand your horrified reaction to her story of how she jumped out of a helicopter onto a moving dune buggy in the middle of the Corel desert
It can be hard to tell if she's actually angry or just venting
You know more about her work than is probably safe for you
Too spontaneous. She sometimes makes important decisions without consulting you first
Reeve
Main bad habit: he is a workaholic
Sometimes puts others needs before yours. He's just trying to help
Doesn't take good care of his health
Uses the sad puppy eyes to get out of arguments more often than he should
Sometimes leaves spare cait siths and his parts all over the living room
