☤
☤ - a memory of death/loss
Cheren felt nothing but misery as he smoothed the last bit of earth, standing up to wrap a reassuring arm around Roxie. She didn’t respond to his touch, standing still as a statue and staring dully at the tiny grave. She wasn’t crying, and somehow, that made it worse. He was at a complete loss for words, and honestly didn’t feel he was qualified to offer any reassurance, considering this whole thing was his fault in the first place.
It had been hard enough to get her to accept the fact that the egg would never hatch. That the Venonat waiting inside that she’d been so excited to meet was long dead. Cheren thought that she knew, deep down, that he was right, and was desperately trying to avoid accepting it by childishly yelling at him. Angry at him for lying and saying horrible morbid things and giving up on it. But eventually she came around, and now he almost wished he could coax anger out of her. The emotionless statue she’d become was much more distressing to deal with.
If anyone was angry, it was him. He was completely furious with himself for putting her through this. He’d had no way of knowing, of course, that the egg he’d chosen wouldn’t ever hatch. They’d done nothing wrong. Had taken care of it as best as they could. But if he hadn’t gotten it for her in the first place… hadn’t gotten her hopes up or excited her… He should’ve just bought her a stuffed Venonat or something instead.
It wasn’t his fault, but that knowledge didn’t help. It was nobody’s fault. These things just happened sometimes. They both knew it. The logic checked out. There was nobody to blame. But they were still left to deal with the heartache.
“…Do you want me to leave?” he asked quietly. Roxie didn’t stir. Cheren took that as a sign that she didn’t much care what he did. But as he made to remove his hand from her shoulder and started to move away, she suddenly responded by reaching up and grabbing his hand, keeping it in place. Cheren froze, taken aback by the response. He hadn’t been able to get anything out of her all day. Maybe… she didn’t hate him after all.
And so they stood in silence a while longer, neither venturing to move or speak until the sun started to dip behind the trees and Cheren made to guide Roxie back to her house, his hand still firmly in place. She didn’t object.
–
Seeing her contentedly strum at her bass with a newborn Nidoran napping in her lap never failed to put a smile on Cheren’s face. He was usually rewarded with a quick kiss when she noticed the genuine happiness he seemed to be radiating, which of course made him all the happier.
Nature could be cruel, but it was just as often kind. It all sort of balances out in the end.