HARLEY QUINN YOU SLY MINX! WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!
She freaking kidnapped me!
She, and Poison Ivy! They nabbed me off the street while I was heading home from church!
Harley tied me up with this pink rope. “Don’t worry, hun. Everything’s gonna be just fine. You’ll see!”
They hauled me into an old car and drove off. “Why are you doing this?” I asked. Harley cackled and Ivy shot me an amused look over her shoulder from the front seat.
They drove me to this warehouse, blasting, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun at top volume the entire time, and tied me to a chair. They never once hurt me. Ivy stayed back. Harley sat across from me and started chatting pleasantly like everything was hunky-dory.
“See, you gettin’ kidnapped by us’ll make him realize how much he loves ya and how scared he is to lose ya!” she said. “‘Sides, Bats and his ducklings’ll come getcha soon! This is just to scares your boyfriend into comin’ ta his senses!”
It took... maybe an hour for Nightwing, Red Hood, Robin, and Batman himself to smash through the roof.
The second they did Harley and Ivy cleared off. Vanished into thin air.
The BatFam cut my ropes and escorted me outside. “How’d you know I was missing?” I asked them. Batman, Red Hood, and Nightwing instantly acted like their shoes were the most interesting things in the city.
“Nightwing and Hood have been keeping tabs on you,” Robin informed me.
Batman let me ride home in the Batmobile. Which. Was. AWESOME! Even if it came about from getting kidnapped by a couple of supervillains. Even if they weren’t going to hurt me.
Nightwing disappeared over the rooftops with Robin (after both gave me a very fond goodbye) and Red Hood took his motorcycle somewhere (after a curt nod).
When I got home, Batman stopped me from getting out of the Batmobile. “Hey. Everything’s going to be okay, got it?” he said.
But he knew something I didn’t know because when I got upstairs to my apartment and went inside---
Jason was sitting on my couch. Practically shaking and looking scared.
Apparently Hood told him they found out I was taken and that they were going to get me and somehow managed to force my 6-foot, 225-pound tank of a boyfriend to stay behind and wait for them to bring me back.
He gave me the tightest hug---I think he cracked one of my ribs---and kissed me for such a long time that I seriously thought he’d, like, fallen asleep on me or something.
Needless to say, we’re fully, 100% back together now. We both apologized and cuddled on the couch for like three hours. Jason was really shaken up by me getting kidnapped. He was surprised that I was so unrattled by it.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I was kidnapped by two ladies who didn’t want to hurt me. Just wanted to end my Lover’s Quarrel.
So... Thank you, Harley. Thank you, Ivy.
