#gotham city

[incorrectbatfam]

Smallvillers are Victorian children in that they'd explode if you showed them a spice rack and Gothamites are Victorian children in that they snort six lines before their 16-hour shift at the crime factory

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

A valid question

[robs-your-robins]

The idea of Batman just injuring a rogue just enough that a young Robin can come pick him off like one of those lions on a nature doc, is so funny to me. Like Bats knows that his apprentice needs a confidence boost and to hone their skills but he's not about yo put the little bird in danger so Batman will take down a rogue, injure them enough that they will put up a fight but Robin won't be in too much danger and can "take the guy down". I'm just imagining Batman taking down somebody like Killer Croc who is like "Bats? Where are you going? Aren't you taking me to Arkham?" for Batman to reply that he will in due time but Robin needs to practise. And Waylon just accepts this because he's also a father and he tells Bats that he's "doing a good job" with Robin. Bats grapples himself out of there, waiting in the shadows while Robin swoops in and takes down Killer Croc.

And of course, some Gothamite records this and it gets memed to hell. They even get somebody to imitate Sir David Attenborough to narrate the scene.

Fake Attenborough: And here we have the more colourful offspring of the Bat, closing in on their prey. With lightning quick skill, the Robin has attacked. The Croc has no chance. The Bat looks on as its young takes down the struggling Croc.

Batman *jumping into the alley*: Good work, Robin

Fake Attenborough: A proud father Bat will now drag away their catch where the GCPD will pick over the scraps like the scavengers they are.

[theladyphantom]

Baby Danny Wayne AU Snippets

Baby Danny: *playing with wooden blocks and accidentally gets a splinter*

Danny: *sniffling* Dada—!

Bruce: *bursting down the (unlocked) door* I’m here! Where’s my baby?!?

~~~

Damian: what is this?

Bruce: *holding Danny* Your baby brother,

Damian: I do not accept him

*five minutes later*

Damian: *addressing the entire batfam* I’ve only had Danny for five minutes but if anything happened to him I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself,

~~~

Gotham Elite: so! I hear you adopted another one, Brucie!

Bruce: I have no idea what your talking about

Gotham Elite: oh? I could’ve sworn you had a baby, Danny, wasn’t it?

Bruce: Danny? No, I birthed Danny, he’s my baby boy.

Gotham Elite: …what.

Bruce: my sweet little baby

~~~

Jason: *sitting across from Danny’s high chair* why does he keep staring at me?

Dick: aw, he looks up to you!

Danny: *smiling with his fangs* Nom nom

Jason: *sweating* he’s going to eat me in my sleep I swear to god, Dick—

[solarnum]

lol I had an awful idea.

There’s a curse in Gotham where no Wayne makes it past 27.

This was a fact from the founding of the city.

Bruce’s great grandfather. Grandfather. Then father.

They all died in some tragic, public way.

The only reason Bruce made it was because he never goes outside lol. Or maybe he did but got Lazarused.

So imagine Bruce being overwhelmingly protective whenever any of the robins are 27, and just mother hen-ing the hell out of them, even if they don’t live in Gotham. He just pops in at random times to make sure they’re still breathing.

Damian had a close call when a patient stole a needle and stabbed him, but it was just saline and he was fine.

Bruce almost cried when Damian told him at dinner.

[gradientspectre]

POV: you just watched this kid punch his own tooth out so you'd get in trouble

[3rd-best-planner-of-gotham]