FORSAKEN - Michael Kaiser
───────── ⋆⋅꒰ა☆໒꒱ ⋆⋅ ────────
"I have a feeling you got everything you wanted. And you're not wasting time stuck here like me."
───────── ⋆⋅꒰ა☆໒꒱ ⋆⋅ ────────
CW - angst, emotional distress, mental health issues, mentions of physical abuse and injury, themes of abandonment and trust, and trauma.
The playground was alive with the playful shouts of children, the squeal of swings, and the joyful clatter of footsteps. But you noticed him sitting alone on the faded, wooden bench under the big oak tree. His small hands clutched his backpack tightly, fingers digging into the worn fabric as if it were a shield. His shoulders hunched inward, and his dark eyes darted around nervously, flickering from the other kids chasing each other to the distant slide, as if he was afraid of missing something—afraid of being caught or left behind.
The warm sun shone down, casting dappled light through the leaves, but he seemed untouched by it, like a shadow had settled over him. His face was serious, almost like he was trying to hide something, or maybe just protect himself from the noise and chaos around him. His little legs swung nervously back and forth, the rough rubber soles scraping the dirt.
You hesitated for a moment, then slowly stepped closer, feeling the gravel crunch softly beneath your sneakers. Your heart pounded, not from fear, but from that strange mix of curiosity and kindness you felt whenever you saw someone lonely. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a small bag of crunchy chips, the salty smell already making your mouth water.
Gently, you crouched just a few feet away, holding out the snack. “Hi,” you said softly, voice barely louder than a whisper. “Want some?” Your hand was steady, but your stomach fluttered with nerves—what if he didn’t want to talk? Or what if he didn’t want to share?
His eyes flicked to you, cautious, wary, like a wild animal sizing up a stranger. Then, slowly, his tiny hand reached out, fingers trembling slightly as they brushed the plastic bag. When he took the chips, your fingers accidentally touched his, and he flinched, pulling back just a little. His eyes widened with surprise, like he wasn’t used to kindness, or maybe didn’t trust it.
You stayed still, offering him a small, gentle smile—warm and non-threatening. The breeze fluttered the leaves above, making a faint rustling sound, like whispering secrets. The distant laughter of other children drifted through the air, but for him, everything felt muted, distant, like he was watching the world through a foggy window. His small shoulders stayed hunched, eyes flickering with a quiet wariness, but he didn’t pull away completely.
You watched him quietly, feeling that strange ache inside—part worry, part hope. Maybe he was scared, maybe he didn’t know how to trust yet, but you knew you wanted to stay. You wanted him to see that not everyone was scary, that someone could be kind, even if he wasn’t sure he believed it.
And so, you sat there, offering the chips and your quiet presence, knowing that sometimes, just being there was enough. That maybe, just maybe, this little moment could be the start of something better.
—
A couple of days had passed, and the house was quiet now, the clatter of dinner long finished. You kept stealing glances at Michael from the corner of the kitchen, noticing how his shoulders sagged a little more tonight, how his face looked paler under the dim light. His eyes seemed tired, almost hollow, like he’d been carrying more than he could handle. You knew he needed more than just food—he needed someone to see how fragile he was.
Without thinking, you quietly pushed back from your chair, slipping out of the house, the cool night air greeting you like a gentle whisper. The scent of wet grass and earth filled your lungs as you hurried along the familiar path toward the park. Your shoes made soft crunches on the gravel, each step heavier with worry.
When you finally reached the swings, you saw him sitting alone on the bench, head bowed, staring at the dirt and grass beneath his feet. His small frame looked smaller somehow, like he might drift away with the breeze. You hesitated for a moment, then reached into your backpack, feeling the crinkling of paper and the coolness of the plastic as you grabbed a container of your dinner—your favorite sandwich, the smell of melted cheese and fresh bread filling the quiet.
Muttering softly to yourself, you crept closer, trying not to disturb the peaceful hush of the night. The faint scent of dew and grass mixed with the savory aroma of your food made your stomach growl softly. You moved behind him, kneeling, and gently touched his shoulder.
His head jerked up, eyes wide and wary, like a wild animal caught off guard. You noticed the tiredness behind them, dark circles and shadows that no amount of sleep could erase. His lips pressed into a thin line, shoulders tense, like he was bracing for something he didn’t quite trust.
You opened the container slowly, the soft scrape of the paper loud in the stillness. Carefully, you broke your sandwich in half and offered him the larger piece. “Here,” you whispered, voice trembling with quiet care. “You should eat. You look like you haven’t had enough.”
His eyes flicked to the sandwich, then to your face, a flicker of hesitation passing over him. He looked like he was about to refuse, but then he reached out, trembling fingers taking the piece you offered. His hand was cold, almost trembling, and for a moment, he just stared at the bread, like he couldn’t believe someone would share something so simple, so precious.
He looked up at you again, eyes searching, wary but desperate for the kindness behind your words. Slowly, he brought the sandwich to his mouth, biting into it carefully. The soft, warm bread and the rich taste of cheese and meat seemed to hold him still. The tension in his shoulders eased just a little, and a faint, almost uncertain look crossed his face, like a fragile crack in the armor he’d built so carefully around himself.
You sat quietly beside him in the cool night, sharing that small, stolen moment. The crunch of the bread, the faint hum of distant cars, the rustling leaves—everything seemed softer, more real in that silence. For just a little while, beneath the flickering glow of the streetlamp and the quiet hush of the park, you both held onto something delicate.
—
Shadows stretched long across the park as the fading sunlight cast a soft glow on the grass. You watched him sitting on the swing, shoulders hunched, head bowed low. His fingers clenched his knees so tightly that the knuckles whitened. The faint scent of sweat and damp earth clung to him, mixed with something sharper—an almost metallic tang you couldn’t place.
You hesitated, then slowly moved closer, your footsteps muffled on the soft dirt. Your hand brushed the fabric of his sleeve—cool, rough beneath your fingertips. You saw his body stiffen instantly, shoulders tensing as if you’d touched something fragile that might shatter. His eyes darted to yours, wary and guarded, like a frightened animal ready to bolt.
The silence was thick, almost suffocating. Your mind raced—how long had he been hiding this? How much pain had he tried to carry alone? Your chest felt tight, a dull ache spreading through it. You knew he was used to guarding himself, but part of you wanted to reach out, to do something, anything, to let him know he didn’t have to carry it all.
“Hey Micha,” you said softly, voice calm but full of quiet support. Your eyes lingered on his, not pushing, only offering a safe space. “I’m here.”
He hesitated, lips pressed tight, eyes flickering with a storm of emotions—fear, shame, maybe even relief. His gaze flicked away, cheeks flushing deeper, like he was trying to disappear into himself. Then, slowly, he pulled his arm back, reluctant, guarded. His skin was mottled with faint bruises, some dark and swollen, others just starting to fade. The sight made your stomach tighten—how much had he been trying to hide?
His neck, you noticed, was marked with faint, bruised fingers, you realized with a sudden ache in your chest. The raw, reddened skin looked tender, like a wound that refused to heal. His jaw clenched, the muscles tight, and you saw him fighting the urge to pull away, to hide even more.
He looked down, cheeks pink, trembling slightly. Then, in a slow, almost hesitant movement, he shifted just enough to reveal the bruised skin on his neck. His voice was barely more than a whisper. “It’s nothing.”
Your insides clenched. You wanted to say something—anything—to tell him it was okay, that he didn’t have to hide anymore. But instead, you kept your tone even, gentle. “Alright,” you murmured, voice low. “Whenever you’re ready, Michael.”
He looked at you again, eyes trembling, caught between fear and something fragile—trust, maybe. The kind that takes time to grow. After a long pause, he nodded faintly, almost imperceptibly. The smallest acknowledgment, a fragile crack in his armor.
Gently, you reached out, your fingers barely brushing his wrist—warm, trembling, but steady. You stayed silent, offering him space. Your heart ached for him, knowing how much pain he carried beneath that guarded exterior. The night air grew cooler, but your presence felt like a quiet, steady anchor—yet all you could do was hold his wrist gently and promise him he was safe with you.
Over the years, Michael’s walls got taller and thicker. He was like a fortress—hard and cold. When he spoke, it was quiet, almost like a whisper, and he didn’t say much. His shoulders hunched a little whenever you got close, like he was trying to pull himself further away. You could feel the distance whenever you tried to get near him, like an invisible wall that kept growing between you. His eyes avoided yours, flicking to the ground or some far-off place, like he was afraid of what you might see.
Every time you reached out, it was like touching ice—sharp, cold, and fragile. You could see it in the way he kept himself tight, shoulders pushed inward, as if trying to make himself smaller. His voice was soft, almost lost in the air, and you had to lean in to catch what he was saying, like trying to hear a whisper in a quiet room. It was like trying to warm a frozen window—cracks appeared, but the cold still stayed.
But even through all that, you saw it—the tiny flicker of something underneath. A little spark of vulnerability, a soft longing for someone to see past the walls he’d built. You noticed it in the way his eyes would sometimes linger on yours, even if just for a second, or in the slight tremble of his hand when he thought no one was looking. Deep down, you knew he was still fighting—still wishing someone could understand what was behind that cold mask.
And so, you stayed. You told little jokes, trying to make him smile, hoping the humor would melt some of that ice. You offered gentle smiles, easy and patient, like a promise that you were there. The smell of your favorite snacks—warm, salty, familiar—mixed with the cold air, but it was like a small light in the darkness. You sat beside him on the battered bench or the grass, just being there, quietly holding on.
Your presence was a pillar, something steady amid chaos, a gentle reminder that even the hardest shells can crack with patience. You could feel the weight of his storm, the silence pressing against your skin, but your hope burned brighter with each passing day. Somewhere beneath that frozen exterior, you believed there was still a flicker of something softer—something worth waiting for.
—
The park was just as you remembered it—familiar and peaceful. The old oak tree still stood tall, its branches stretching outward like welcoming arms. The swings hung motionless, their chains slightly rusted but sturdy, waiting for someone to push them. You strolled along the cracked concrete path, your footsteps steady and sure. You knew he’d be here. You always did.
You reached the bench near the picnic table, settling down comfortably, your gaze drifting over the space where he usually sat. The air was crisp, carrying the scent of fresh grass and earth, and the late afternoon sun cast a warm glow over everything. The birds chirped softly, filling the quiet with gentle melodies. You pulled out a small snack, unwrapping it with a contented smile, confident that he’d arrive any moment now.
For a while, nothing felt wrong. You waited patiently, your eyes flicking toward the entrance of the park every few minutes, expecting to see his familiar figure emerge—maybe a little late, maybe breathless from running, but safe. The breeze ruffled your hair, and you took a deep breath, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, the steady heartbeat of the world around you.
But minutes stretched into ten, then twenty. The usual rush of footsteps, the sound of his voice calling your name—nothing. The swings remained still, the park silent except for the faint whisper of the wind. You glanced at your phone, but no messages. No missed calls. Your confident smile slowly faded, replaced by a quiet, sinking feeling in your chest.
The breeze grew colder, and a strange stillness settled over the empty park. You shifted your gaze back to the path, your eyes scanning for any sign of him. The familiar shapes of trees, the empty benches—everything looked the same, yet somehow wrong. No sign of his familiar figure. No sign of life.
A distant car passed by, muffled by the quiet, but it didn’t bring the comfort you expected. Your hands clenched into fists, feeling the rough fabric of your hoodie. You looked at the empty swings again, then at the space beside you. The confidence that he’d be here, like always, had dissolved into something heavier—something unspoken.
A flicker of worry prickled at your mind. You called his name softly, more uncertain now. “Michael? You out there?” Your voice echoed, but only the wind responded, carrying away your words into the quiet. The sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the grass, and the warm glow faded into a cooler, darker hue.
You stayed seated, eyes fixed on the empty path, feeling the ache tighten in your chest. You knew he’d be here—he always was—yet tonight, the silence told a different story. The park held its breath, and so did you, waiting for him to appear, or for an answer that wouldn’t come.
—
It had been well over four years since you last saw him, yet your eyes fixate on the screen, feeling a strange weight settle deep inside your chest. The image flickers, then stabilizes—there he is, on the field. You wouldn’t miss him anywhere. The oh-so glorious striker of ‘Bastard Munchen.’ Sweat beads on his forehead, catching the stadium lights, turning into tiny shimmering droplets. His longer hair is slicked back, damp from exertion, clinging to his skin. Every movement is purposeful, deliberate. His body, once so small, now moves with a strength that’s almost overwhelming to watch.
There’s a quiet moment—just a pause between plays—where he catches your eye. For a flicker of a second, you see something different: a flicker of focus, determination, that fire you remember from when he was just a boy. But even in that moment, your heart tightens, as if a part of you is being pulled away.
You remember the afternoons in the park, sharing your sandwich, passing half to him because he looked so tired, so fragile. You recall how he hesitated—eyes flickering with doubt—before finally taking the food. The way he looked at you then, like he was unsure if he could trust someone with his broken pieces, even for a moment. But he did trust you, just briefly, enough to let you see that he was tired, that he was hurting.
Now, watching him run across that field, so confident, so fierce, you feel a slow, creeping ache—like your chest is trying to hold too much at once. Pride warms your heart, yes, but it’s tinged with something else—an almost stubborn sadness. Because somewhere, deep inside, you wonder if he still remembers those quiet moments you shared. If he still thinks about the one who offered him a slice of comfort when he looked like he was about to fall apart.
Your gaze lingers on him—the way his muscles flex, the sweat that drips down his face, the way his eyes burn with purpose. He’s so different from the boy who once whispered secrets, so distant from the boy who had trusted you enough to share scars beneath long sleeves. The memory of that boy feels like a fragile thing, slipping through your fingers, slow and inevitable.
You swallow hard and look away, feeling the ache deepen. The crowd’s roar is distant now, muffled behind a hazy fog of emotion. You’re not sure if it’s pride or longing or something darker—you only know that it’s heavy. You want to reach out, to call to him across the vastness, to tell him you see him, that you’re still here. But the words catch in your throat, silent and unspoken.
You breathe in slowly, grounding yourself. The boy on the screen—so fierce, so alive—has moved so far from the boy you knew. And yet, that ache remains, quiet but persistent, lurking beneath every heartbeat. You wonder, almost in a whisper, if he ever looks back, if he ever remembers the moments you shared—those quiet, fragile moments—when he was still a boy who needed someone to believe in him.
Your eyes drift to the flickering screen once more, and you sit with that slow, aching feeling—proud but painfully aware of what’s lost, longing for a past that feels just out of reach.
In that quiet moment, you wished you could reach through the screen, tell him that you were still here, still holding onto the friendship that had seen him through so much. You longed to remind him that even in his success, he wasn’t alone. But you understood, deep down, that growing up was a journey—one filled with joy and pain, with moments of closeness and times of silence.
All you could do was hold onto hope, trusting that someday, he might look back and realize that your friendship was a constant—something steady and true, even amid the chaos he endured. And in your heart, you promised yourself to keep waiting and loving because some connections are too deep ever truly to be lost.