Jul 15, 2017
ive never, not once in my life, look the way ive really wanted to. like, the way i see myself in my head doesnt match how i see my self in real life at all, but im too afriad to actualy look the way i want to, because its rly androuygenou but tbh? i really dont want to be mistaken for a boy. i really, really dont want that. the thing is tho, theres literally no way for me to look like neither. like i either look like a girl, or i look like a boy. and its like, ugh. i dont want to LOOK like a binary gender, i dont want people seeing me as a girl or a boy. i want to be seen as nothing.
#cal speaks#like if u read#im upset!!!!!!!!#my gender is#confusing#it stresses me out#bc i feel mostly agender#but at the same time#i feel like vaguely femininf and also vaguely masculine#but not enough for either to consider myself a boy or a girl#and honestly i would be more comfy saying im a girl then a boy#like i dont ever want anyone to use he/him on me#but its like weird#bc like#i cant say im a demi-girl or boy#bc thats not true#bc technically???#im demi boy AND demi girl#its like#im mostly agender#but also a little bit of both genders#but again#its not enough to say im both a boy and a girl#bc im neither#idk#idkdkdkdkd#idkdkdkkjgrfdhrjrgsdfjngu#i wish i was cis#this is so complicated#like i wish i was comfortable with being cis but im not