#be perceived

[randomgrayghostie]

To be changed is to be loved. Right?

They couldn't believe it. It couldn't be them. How long have they been here for?

John raised a hand to their cheek, their rosary wrapped around their wrist dangling heavily. The thing in the mirror can't be them.

When had their skin changed; their clothes; their eyes? They couldn't remember at what point they transformed from man to some thing; the change had been apparently seamless. Could they even remember what they looked like?

Disgust, fear, hopelessness, anger; a deadly mix, reared its ugly head towards John. To stop their hands from shaking violently John clenched them hard enough to feel the beads of their rosary dig into their skin. They weren't human anymore. Had they ever been human in the first place?

Heavy, excruciating, shame rested on John's slumped shoulders. They shouldn't be questioning their deities actions nor should John be upset about them. Perhaps that -- their shame, their anger, their fear -- is a sign.

A sign of humanity.

A sign of their God's love.

This was a test. A test for John.

They will not stray.

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

Here for the ask game! Looking at 38 and 50 for Atlas..

38. What is the most recurring theme in your OC's nightmares?

The deaths of their loved ones 100%. Oftentimes it's mixed with some other Horrors they've experienced like Cardinal's Honey, but the murder of their brother is kinda the backdrop of most of what their subconscious conjures.

50. How does your OC die, eventually?

Honestly I've been juggling a few ideas for Atlas' official "ending", but in the one that I think about the most often they get their hands on some Cider, return to the Surface (which is ultimately their Destiny), and live as a quasi-immortal for awhile. When they decide they're done they'll just stop drinking Cider. Not sure if they'll fade and die or instantly turn to dust due to the Sun but one of those.

ask game

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

😘 and 🌿 for Thomas and Atlas!! - @lord-emerson

Hello :D

😘 Who kisses the other first thing in the morning, morning breath & all?

Thomas, without a doubt. She can never resist.

🌿 Do they want kids/pets/plants together? What do they name them?

The thought of having kids terrifies them and neither is available enough to take care of a child or a pet. But they do actually have plants! Atlas has a patch of roof in the Flit where he grows Neathly flowers as a member of the True Horticultural Society, and Thomas accompanies him when she can. He also has a small collection of alien plants gifted by @t6fs' Scrimshander a long while ago that he takes loving care of. He uses one of them as a primary source of caffeine.

headcanon/ask game

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

12. What is the worst thing that has happened to your OC? How has it affected their behavior, their health, and their life in general?

13. What is something your OC does (to others) that they would not like if others did to them? Are they aware that they do this?

for Atlas and Thomas ?

! NEMESIS SPOILERS !

TWs for addiction and parental emotional abuse

Ohoho you got me really thinking with these.

12.

This is a hard one. If you asked Atlas this directly they'd say the murder of their brother without hesitation. And it did deeply affect them in a way that will never fade, it's what brought them to the Neath (and thus caused Several of their disabilities), caused their haemophobia, and traumatized them permanently.

But coming from me it's tied between that, getting addicted to laudanum, sampling Cardinal's Honey, and Théo asking who they were after he was resurrected. All of the effects in these cases were mental but devastating. They're clean from laudanum but now have minor brain damage and will never be free of thinking about it, wanting it; also the withdrawal symptoms were absolutely hellish. Cardinal's Honey gave them crippling phobias of enclosed spaces and darkness (although New Newgate and Evolution already got that process going). Realizing Théo doesn't remember them threw them into a relapse, and made them realize that they'll never ever escape their grief.

For Thomas, I can only say her parents- mostly because she's never had a stand-out terrible thing happen that wasn't directly caused by them. Although using the same cause-and-effect logic as I did with Théo's murder and Atlas, I'd probably say either getting demanded for her soul for the first time, or watching her parents order the social destruction and soul removal of her first partner as retaliation for refusing to give it. The former solidified the fact that she wasn't a member of a family, she was an asset, and she'd never know peace (or so she thought). The latter made her realize that nobody close to her was safe- social destruction doesn't sound like much, but she was fully raised and caged in the Society bubble, so it killed any hope for her of seeing them again and ruined their life.

For both of them, from a purely physical standpoint: Atlas falling from St Fiacre's and landing on a stone gargoyle before falling the rest of the way to the ground. Thomas getting shot and killed by a gun. Both cause chronic pain of varying degrees. Both hurt so bad in the moment that despite being writers and bookworms, neither will ever be able to find the proper words.

13.

Atlas does a lot of gripping and clinging, solely with partners because they don't like touching anyone else. They're barely aware they do it. While they definitely wouldn't get upset at a partner for doing the same, they are Not a fan of it.

Thomas is a chider. She chides. (I mean the mild version of the definition... like very light scolding). In her defense, out of all her partners her habits are by far the healthiest, but also the bar is lower than the bottom of the Unterzee. She knows she does it to a degree but doesn't know alternatives. She doesn't appreciate getting chided.

ask game

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

o/_ :3 for anyone:

3. If your OC could revisit their childhood, what would they want to change about it, if anything at all?

Ough let's see.... Interpreting the question as a kind of "become a kid again with current knowledge" situation:

I don't think Atlas would want to change much beyond savoring every moment they can. Their childhood was far from a perfect one, but memory issues + Surface longing means it's now a weird pocket of idealized sunny nostalgia in their mind that they couldn't imagine significantly altering, you know? They'd spend more time with Théo though, that's for certain.

Thomas would rather die than go back to hers.

ask game

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

hi ! 2 + 3 from the ask game? for atlas

2. How does your OC remember their childhood? Is this an accurate reflection of what their childhood was actually like?

Atlas' childhood is an idealized bubble of sunny nostalgia. They have a very unique combination of memory issues, grief, and general Surface nostalgia going on that gives them a very strong longing for the concept of what their childhood was like as opposed to the actual thing. Storms were fierce, the sun was bright, they read and played and ate fruit and sold books.

Their reminiscence is... somewhat accurate. Their family lived a calm life in the countryside of northern Yorkshire, and they did indeed run around the woods and eat grapes from their neighbor's vineyard and read and pick flowers. But they also dealt with the Weirdness that came with being autistic before the diagnosis existed, whether it was dealing with pressure to do things they simply Couldn't (or could but with much difficulty) or with people that assumed they were "slow" and talked to them like they never aged past 3 years old. They weren't allowed to go to school past age 11 or decide what they wanted to do in the future because as the eldest they were slated to inherit the family business, and all they really needed for that was knowledge of how to read and arithmetic. They didn't know how to imagine a life outside of what was chosen for them, but still felt... trapped.

I answered 3 here :D

Thanks for the ask!

ask game

[staring-at-my-keyboard]

23 for thomas, 27 for atlas :3

23. What is your OC like when they're angry?

Thomas is very rarely loud. She's cold, and quiet, and goes pale(r). She has a fantastic intimidation factor and knows it, so she will use it. She will insult, and she will threaten.

There's an uncommon, more fiery version of her anger, but most of the time that only comes out when she herself is feeling threatened.

27. What are some assumptions others make about your OC? Are any of them true?

Many assume that Atlas is a genius. This is somewhat true, as they have a unique affinity for many of the arts and humanities, as well as a singular zeal for pursuing them. But this is also partially a "people assume an artist is naturally talented while not knowing about the years upon years of ardent dedication to build their skill" type deal.

Some assume that they're frail. This isn't true in the slightest.

Thanks to their current lategame status of wealthy and renowned Court artist, Correspondent, and academic, a lot of Society assumes that the general perceives Strangeness of their habits, demeanor, and occasional event-inappropriate outfits is some purposeful, avant-garde eccentricity (this is a classic "if they're rich, they aren't weird, they're ✨eccentric✨" thing). This is completely untrue, they're just autistic and not great at masking. They were much the same when first making their way through Society politics, but the public has a short memory.

For funsies, a Manager assumption because these two have seen each other so much their something to the bizarre left of close acquaintances: he assumes they'll be a frequent guest for as long as they live. This remains to be seen.

ask game