vent
fuck. I got triggered by a post abt shaving being a prison and I looked in the notes (big mistake) and found ppl not only justifying reasons to shave (whatever) but ppl admitting they find body hair gross no matter and would avoid anyone who doesnt shave
fuck . fuck fuck. fuck. fuck
fuck
fuck
stop making me feel disgusting. im not disgusting. fuck you im not disgusting.
I hate that i was forced to shave my whole early life.
I hate that even now, im not comfortable wearing clothes I love and want unless I shave or wear leggings that go past my ankles.
I hate how my father laughed his ass off at me when I was 19 or in my early 20's for my legs "being harrier than his"
my brothers laughing at me too for daring to not shave, my mother getting on my case for not shaving and making me wax my lips AND armpits for years
even just sorta recently her putting this burning fucking cream to cover the darkness of my forearm hair
..
I hate it all. I hate that I have to constantly, constantly convince myself that I dont have to shave for anyone's approval. that im allowed to hate it and want to reject it. that i dont need to wear makeup to be prettier (im already pretty goddammit) or chase a """"healthy"""" body (I like being fat) my entire life to be desirable
...and then I see my fears validated. bc thats the reality
I have to be in pretend relationships that love my body as it looks, even objectifies how it looks, bc its better than the alternative of being considered hideous for not doing all this stuff to it for others' oppressive, misogynistic preferences
