The conversation happens on one of their "slumber party nights" that Yasha, Beau, Jester, and Veth like holding, whenever Jester drops back onto land and enough of them are nearby.
Veth isn't there this time- She and Caleb and Essek are on a trip to harvest some more ...volatile alchemical ingredients, with Yeza staying behind with Luc so he "doesn't fall into the volcano, or try to shoot it."
("I'm... fairly certain the volcano isn't sentient this time."
"Essek, that's what you said about the kelp last time.")
Instead, in her honor, Jester, Yasha, and Beau are doing mud masks, which mostly translates into: various buckets of mud (sourced from the backyard) scattered around a room, a full tub of mud, everyone streaked with varying levels of dirt, and a general, good hearted mess. Jester isn't sure if the clumps of plants should be mixed in or not, but she figures it can't hurt. Yasha will tell them if anything will cause a rash.
It happens in a soft lull after Jester finishes regaling a tale of Orly (unfairly) banning Jester from wagering tattoos during poker nights. Yasha is idly replanting a clump of grass in the blob of mud in front of her, Beau leaning against her while Jester carefully sculpts a mud dick.
"Hey, Jessie?"
"Hmm?" She looks up from putting the finishing touches on the balls. Beau has straightened, an uncharacteristic hesitance in her expression.
"I just wanted to uh- I wanted to thank you. For the Sendings. For always messaging us with updates and stories and keeping us connected. Keeping that the same. In the best way. Not just me and Yash, but everyone, and I have no idea how you manage to save your spells so well when you and Fjord are also battling fuck-all huge serpents all the time but I just wanted to thank you, okay? I'm so glad you do that. Even when your timing isn't uh- the best. I'm so fucking glad. Every time."
Jester's joke about her impeccable timing dies in her chest as she sees the way Beau takes a deep breath in, old aches and haunts and fears moving under her skin. Oh. Oh.
"I was worried-" Her face screws up briefly with something like a wince, like reluctance. But this Beau, who has come so far from a Beau that could barely get out an apology, soldiers through anyway.
"I was kind of worried we'd all part ways and that would be it, you know? The Mighty Nein would scatter to the four winds and we'd be like- weird, and disconnected, and gone. And then suddenly you were in my ear telling me that Fjord had tripped over a net after an inspirational speech to the crew-"
Jester can't hold back her snort, at that one. "Ohmygod, that was so funny-" and sees Yasha smile, briefly, her gaze still fixed on Beau.
"And it just- it felt good, you know? To know that. To know that we might all be physically apart but we'd still be- close. A family."
Beau frowns as she finishes, clearly already rethinking her words, "Aw man that got really-"
-only to get bowled over in a flurry of mud-streaked tiefling and enthusiasm.
"Oh- Beau!" Jester manages, pulling back from the hug and shuffling back enough to lock gazes, affection and exasperation and just a hint of sadness swirling through her tone. "Of course I was going to keep talking with you and Yasha and everyone, Beau, we're family, you all are stuck with us until we die, and then we'll all be ghosts and we can haunt each other and knock off teacups from shelves and eat ghost cupcakes and-"
For a moment, her throat closes up, looking at Beau and seeing double, seeing an angry form in front of a hag hut, yelling about not getting to keep happiness, about being left behind.
"Beau we're a family, we aren't going to leave you, we're all going to stay close forever, and ever, and ever, do you hear me? I promise that.
I'll always send you messages and updates and always keep you updated on what animal Fjord has pissed off now. I'll always save spell slots just for you, just for keeping everyone updated on each other. We're not going anywhere."
She reaches forward, squeezing Beau's hand, tight, as she swipes at her eyes with the other.
"I promise. I promise. You have to believe me."
Beau laughs, and its a cracked laugh, but a real one.
"Oh Jessie, I know better than to ever bet against you. Wouldn't want you to start a religion or anything on my behalf."
"We could." Yasha pipes up loyally, eyes twinkling, but her expression is soft. "We could start a whole religion around Beau's eyes, and her abs, and her dope monk shit and her-"
"-Excellent sexytimes?" Jester breaks across, waggling her eyebrows at Yasha, and laughs as Beau splutters out a "hey!". Yasha just smiles, knowingly, sending Jester into peals of laughter. Beau continues spluttering about betrayal, fake indignation mixing with an underbelly of vulnerability as Jester continues teasing her.
Beau's feelings aren't exactly a surprise to Yasha, having been discussed, here and there under covers in dim rooms, little words in late nights, but there had been a slow growing... melancholy, there too. Albeit, one that was lifting, bit by bit, with every unexpected sending that Beau recieved.
They warmed Yasha from the inside out as well, (even if she was still unsure of how, exactly, sending worked, like did Jester hear her thoughts like how Veth did? If Veth was connected to herself and she talked to Jester through Beau was Veth automatically looped in? Or-).
But there would always be a bone deep fear, for Beau, even one that was slowly and steadily being won over with love. With every time Caleb wanted her to come back and do some research with him. With Fjord planning excursions that could be done with the Cobalt Soul. With each of the little gifts from Caduceus that Yasha would bring back from her visits from him.
But nothing had been quite like the way she'd jolted in surprise with the first message, the way she'd mouthed Jester, its Jester, and how the shock morphed into a rising affection and wonder.
(Thoreau better be having a terrible time in prison, she decides. Maybe later she'll ask Jester to send him a super creepy message.)
(Maybe it would be nice for the rest of them to send Jester messages too. She'll ask Caleb, when she sees him next week. She would ask Veth, but sometimes it seems like Veth's messaging magic doesn't work for Yasha like how she expects. If the whole Mighty Nein are going to send Jester messages back, it shouldn't rely on Yasha's super cool telepathic link with Veth.)
But for now- Yasha feels her smile widen, as Beau, standing now, flings some mud directly at Jester's face, and Jester shrieks and uses her tail to trip her as she gets up to flee. Yasha dodges back as Beau does a half flip, to avoid falling.
"Beau." She calls sweetly, reaching behind her where she knows another tub of mud to be, and when Beau looks at her, she says, with great gravitas and weight. "I love you. We all love you."
And right as Beau's expression softens, she swings her hand around, and splats a handful of mud directly into her chest, knocking her back a full step. Beau's wordless yell of outrage is drowned out by Jester breaking down in laughter. Yasha laughs as well as she jumps to her feet, dodging an enraged monk who still can't suppress her smile. She feels Jester's hand slip into hers, sees a quick flash of canines as she grins and dodges a thrown ball bearing, magic gathering around her free hand.
"Lets go, lets GO, I know where we can get a good vantage point, and then we can draw up plans for Beau's new religion-"
"The only religion we need is me knocking both of you on your butts-"
Beau, adrenaline coursing through her veins, recognizes the familiar magic of Jester's dimension door swirling into the air. And as she grabs Yasha's hand (who doesn't really try very hard to dodge), tossing empty threats at Jester who is somehow casting and giggling at the same time, she thinks that this- this is what love looks like.
I don’t think Beau meant her feelings weren’t real. I think lust was meant as a comparison in an attempt to describe yasha, which I’ll elaborate in a moment, but simply a bit of a word choice mix up.
Beau described lust in that conversation as in ‘everything about jester is so easy to be drawn to’, so easy to care about, that she has a gravity. Shes pointing out how “easy it is to lust after Jester” because whats different about Yasha is the fact that Yasha isn’t like that. Yasha isn’t bright colors and joy. Yasha doesn’t radiate that warmth and overwhelming compassion like Jester does. It’s easy for Beau to understand what she sees in Jester, but with Yasha? She can’t describe it.
The comment about Jester didn’t feel to me like an invalidation of her previous affections. Those were real. I think Beau was using Jester as almost a reference point: “What’s so special about Yasha? That’s the thing. It’s so easy to be drawn to Jester. I mean look at her. Talk to her. But for some reason I feel deeply about Yasha as well. And damn, that has to mean something.”
I may not be a beaujester, but I still don’t like seeing people feel upset or betrayed or just confused. We’re all a community. I personally felt Beau was not insulting that ship and wanted to offer that perspective, many felt she was. But for whatever it means, if we take this lens, her feelings still were, and are, as real as ever. Hers towards Yasha too.
(edited for clarity - I hope this is clear but if you didn’t read it that way that’s totally fine. I love hearing different interpretations and am definitely not a final voice on what was and wasn’t meant and what impacts were or weren’t felt)
Not sure if Beau's really putting Artie on the same level as Trent & Thoreau though when she said she had enough of "manipulative assholes". Because Artie DID actually admit his faults, that he never meant to hurt Jester intentionally & the Nein DID say he could work his way back into their good graces. I think she can learn to be tolerant of him, especially if he EARNS trust. But Trent & Thoreau? AND Obann? She's DONE with them. It's her way of putting behind her the damage Thoreau did to her.
Yeah I think certainly that Artagan is not placed on the same level as trent/thoreau/obann, and i think Artagan willingly kicking Jester off is a gesture of good will that Beau has taken and is at the point where its like.. ok i’ll regard you like my best friends lowkey sus boyfriend, we aren’t outright enemies but i sure as hell don’t like you. I wanted to explore Beau’s reaction to him though, because i feel like its sometimes dismissed as her not trusting Jester, whereas I tend to lean on the side of everything being informed by experience.
I do think that Beau was grouping Artagan as a manipulative asshole and i think that Beau very vocally doing that and openly disliking him is her way of indicating that Jester has someone who is fully in her corner. That may seem a bit odd but i think that for Beau it is vital to let Jester know that she won’t be annoyed or disappointed if she lets that relationship go. And again going back to her family and growing up - we know VERY directly that Clara was very passive and never stood up to thoreau, even in defense of her daughter, so Beau i think needs call artagan’s faults out to show jester ‘im here for you and only you, i will defend you (like i was never defended)’
as amazing & brilliant & cunning & deceitful & extraordinary & fucking phenomenal as laura and jester were this episode, the lasting emotions i have after the come down from the episode are all to do with beau and marisha.
marisha has done a truly good job at playing a queer character and the last few episodes in particular have punched me in the gut. beau has clawed for every inch of respect she has gotten and fought for every person in their family to stay together. but the entire time she was doing that she knew that a day like this would come and she would be the one to walk. when her and caleb fought over the bowl she apologized for being abrasive, always apologizing for taking up too much space or talking too loud around people she wanted to stay. because her parents convinced her that she had to be docile to be worth their time and that shit stays with you.
she tanks to protect her friends, she will pull the world apart at its seams with her bare hands to keep them. yasha drove a sword through her stomach and beau was one of the first to welcome her back without judgment.
beau said she didn’t think she would make it past 19
beau was willing to walk away from her only happiness because it’s easy to convince yourself that walking away is better than someone taking it from you. its easier to isolate yourself and save yourself the potential heartbreak of people choosing to leave or being taken away.
marisha had fully made up her mind that beau was going to leave and you could tell she had started processing that. she almost looked like she was in shock when jester succeeded with her plan and she was going to get to keep her family for a little while longer. she wasn’t laughing and yelling like everyone else at the end of the episode, i think she was grappling with the fact that this is the closest she had ever come to losing beau and no death saves were involved.
The first time Beauregard Lionett used her full name (even her first, she usually just says Beau) its the same day she first calls herself the leader of the group, and I don't think it was a coincidence. Sure, it's part bravado, and part Beau telling herself "I'm just lying like usual", but its also, you know, part truth.
Because she has had the best interest of the group for awhile now and she puts herself out there to steer them in the right direction time and time again. She is the one who says, trust me with these people to Dairon, she sometimes is the "face" to gather information even if her charisma isn't that high, she is the one that checks on Jester, Caleb, Fjord "hey, are you okay? if you need me I'm here" She drops ALL her money to get Caleb something, but its not just to please her empire brother, its to help the GROUP, because if there's ONE person who puts the group first above all is Beauregard Lionett.
Dairon told her, don't get attached, Beau says I can't abadon these people, Dairon answers I know. I've said before, Beau is the ideal leader out of all of them. Fjord is too impulsive (and you know, still shady), Caleb, for all his growth, still too self-interested, Jester and Nott, too chaotic and Cad too easy-going. Yasha is -not there- enough.
Beau is intelligent, kind, self-sacrificial, strong, and willing to change. All of the M9 LOVES her. Other than Nott she's everyone's favorite. She just needs to believe in herself a little more. And she's getting there. Reclaiming her family name is a big step. Because she rejected it for so long, because she thought if she used it, it would define her, the unwanted daughter of the house Lionett. But now she has other things to define her, so I surname is just a thing that its there, its not bigger than her mission, than her friends, its not bigger than being the Leader of the Mighty Nine.
it’s so interesting to me just how much becoming an expositor really reflects all the growth beau’s done these past months. cause first of all - her goal since the beginning of the campaign was never to become an expositor. beau was actively running away from the cobalt soul and it’s affiliations. and even training with dairon was more of a personal advancement for beau so she could do more things on her own, rather than show the cobalt her improvement. but it’s all these little things that beau improved so much upon, that when dairon saw beau in xhorhas - saw that becoming an expositor was the farthest thing from her mind, that she cared more about truth and justice and unraveling this larger secret... well, of course dairon tells beau she’s an expositor now.
beau doesn’t care about the authority, the position, doesn’t even care that much about the cobalt soul itself. and that’s what the whole point is, in my opinion. she cares about seeking truth without having any of her own biases, which is what the mission of the expositor should always be. that’s why beau is acing being an expositor, even surpassing dairon themself.
it’s nice though, for beau to see in physical means that her views on the beginning of the campaign about authority were never wrong in the first place. she just had to learn what to do with them, and use them to the best of her abilities. in that process, she’s grown so much as a person.
I don’t know if this has been talked about before? But can we take a moment and just. Consider Beau and her pocket bacon.
It may have started as a goof that just kind of stuck through, but it’s something that has found its way into most depictions of Beau—brash, not good at people, loves pocket bacon.
But take a second to divorce the concept from the goof. Beauregard routinely assumes, and has from the start of the campaign so you can tell it runs deep, that even though she has food in front of her right now, she can’t guarantee that it won’t be
a.) taken away from her before she can eat all of it, or
b.) that it it will happen again soon, so she puts food in her pockets.
Beau has an issue with food hoarding. Im coming at this from a personal standpoint, where I have been given things and kept them in my room or bag for fear of not having anything later to the point of them expiring or becoming otherwise inedible. Or, on a more similar level to Beau, taking something that is small but has protein and tastes good and stashing it somewhere, even if it won’t keep forever, and picking through it.
We don’t know much about Beau’s background, and that kills me because I want to know so much about her. All we really know is that she’s from Kamordah, she doesn’t get on with her parents to the point of her father paying the Cobalt Soul to take her, and she’s been effectively disowned since her brother was born. I would assume her food hoarding tendencies stem from a bad home life over the Cobalt Soul; personally, I have a history of struggling with a borderline eating disorder and also a pretty shitty home life.
Can someone of tm9 give Beau a hug and also maybe tell her she doesn’t need to hoard her food please
I loved that Beau got angry at the gnome in hupperdook and tried to comfort Nott about how bullshit it was and is for people to treat her like shit, and then also called her really brave after hearing her story of how she was murdered. Beau might not have magic or seem nice to an outsider, but she has moments with everyone and genuinely wants to make others feel happy and better, which is something she sort of shares with Jester in a way.
You’re right and you should say it! Beau has really sharp instincts about caring for her friends and wanting to be there for them. If anything her biggest obstacle is her own self-consciousness about how good she is at it, since she doesn’t see herself as a nurturer but rather as a Huge Asshole. And to be clear - my initial post wasn’t an indictment of any of Jester’s friends, because I think it’s clear they all care deeply about each other. If anything it’s just an acknowledgement that Jester is not equipped the way a lot of them are to handle some of the shit that’s been coming her way and she needs more than a ‘u good?’ to carry on, and yet she keeps convincing both herself and the others that she doesn’t need more than that, actually, why would you suggest such a thing to someone who is totally fine?
