[sparring-spirals]

edit: this post now contains a majority of my C2 metas! For C3 metas, I've started up a new tag #my meta, and will be using that to track, until i give in and make a meta masterpost for all campaigns.

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With the end of the campaign looming, I am giving in and making a deeply, deeply self indulgent post. And, assuming the readmore works and this doesn't screw up people's dashes, pinning it.

I present to you: a sorted list of some of my favorite metas that I've written over the course of the *second campaign.

This blog was started because I had Thoughts about Jester and her backstory and wanted to share them, and while recently I haven't been able to sit down and actually write any in depth meta for a hot minute, I'll be damned if I don't get to sit down and appreciate the campaign. And my roots. This is only the metas I wrote because a compilation of my favorite metas that other people wrote would be. Unreasonably long. (But maybe I should do it anyway?)

(My roots are: i have so many feelings and words about these wonderful characters and everyone is going to hear them whether they asked for them or not)

Sorted, under the cut, and random addendums about each because I couldn't resist. Please know that me not writing meta about characters doesn't mean I don't love them. I love all of them fiercely and aggressively, but can only find words for some of them.

JESTER

this blog started with jester meta and to stay true to that there's kind of a disproportionate amount of meta for her. Its fine though! Like I always say, Love Is Stored In The Jester.

Jester is Fine (Spoiler She's Not) the one that started it all. Full mess of thoughts based on her talking about her childhood in episode 8.

Jester is Not A Damsel In Distress initially written after I watched the boat convo, then revisited after 93 (YES that 93).

Jester Doesn't Need To Be Saved bit of a redux of the damsel in distress one, written after the Traveler reveal and the way it shook her up.

Jester ISN'T fine omg a triumphant return to the first meta in light of the convo in 105 and also me being proud about having been right. Hell yeah.

Jester, trickster cleric just an incoherent, deeply emotional word-spew post The Cupcake

Jester, sunshine, godmaker just an incoherent, deeply emotional word-spew post the Artagan Reveal (what a wild three episodes)

what luck an incoherent deeply emotional word spew about the whole mess of the artagan jester fjord moonweaver clusterfuck in 108

Jester, choosing happiness. Jester's love is bright and bold and dangerous and a choice. Jester's love can make gods, and kill them. Kindness is a choice. Love is a choice. Happiness is a choice. And she chooses it, every time. edit: EPISODE 140 SPOILERS (written after That battle)

FJORD

the blog started for jester meta, but I think my Fjord metas were what really cemented it. A slow, meandering curiosity about Fjord suddenly snapped into clarity around episode 61 and I churned out some 3 metas about him during the whole "oh fuck im losing my powers oh god oh god" that cemented him as one of my favorite characters with an arc I am always going to hold near and dear to my heart. I love Fjord and his arc so, so very much. I have a very, very soft spot for the first few metas I wrote for him.

Disguise Self: some fjord meta episode 61, written in a shell shocked state after he first lost his powers

My Take On How Fjord Became An Orc of Many Masks perhaps one of my favorite metas. I won't claim that my read of Fjord is the Only Correct read of Fjord, but every time I read a post or meta about how far Fjord has come, I think about the Fjord described here. I love this half orc, dammit.

What do you want me to do here kind of more of a caleb/fjord study based on one of their conversations, but it always felt like it went hand in hand with the other two.

love near a pool of lava like the best follow up imaginable to the previous few metas, an emotional blurb after the ukatoa lava pool/accent drop/fjord dropping his masks, about fjord reaching his limits, dropping his walls and facades and waiting for the worst, only to be swept up in love instead.

i can give you 1 hit point because fjord by episode 90, 100, is so far from where he started that he is unafraid of incompetence, of being bad at healing, as long as he is supporting his friends. and aahhh <3

never have dignity again most of this is freckledmcree's meta, but some more Thoughts about fjord being unafraid of failure and why that means So Much, dammit.

yall gotta get out of here episode 123, fjord, however briefly, looking out across a field at his crew, thinking they should leave him, hoping that they wont.

BEAU

Most of my better Beau meta is about her relationships with others, but only because I love Beau very deeply and can't always find the right words to express that, dammit.

More On Beau mostly a piggyback off of Yfere's excellent meta about beau, but also some prime Thoughts about Beau and how hard she works to Listen to People, to Respect their humanity and thoughts in a way that people never did for her. good god beau you are lovely.

i hope they're angry some Thoughts after her attempted sacrifice in 93, about how i wanted the m9 to react because they Love Her and What The HELL Beau, We Love You, How Would That Have Been Okay

i have a permit for this rudeness short and sweet- beau being abrasive as part of her tactics. beau is great.

sending this is technically a fanfic and not a meta but I'm very proud of it so its going in here. beau thanks jester for her sendings, emotional talks are had, mud is thrown, yasha really doesn't get how sending works. epilogue spoilers, very vaguely.

BRJEAUS

the brjeaus are so good and i already have two extensive rambles about it,

So, the Brjeaus listen I watched that 32 minute compilation on the brjeaus and drunkenly slammed out a love letter to their friendship and it remains one of my favorite things. That's all I'll say.

Brjeau's (the sequel) a lovely anon gave me an excuse to gush MORE about the brjeau's and what was I gonna do? say no ????

THE GREEN TEAM

i don't write a lot about veth individually, i think others do it much better. BUT the green team dynamic is one of my favorite things.

green team written fairly early on, back in ye olde days of texan fjord and goblin veth, but with just enough insight to find it funny why they got on each other's nerves.

green team (the sequel) again, a lovely anon gave me the excuse to gush about the green team, and getting to revisit the above meta, looking at it in light of how their relationship grew- and stayed the same. good stuff.

NOTT THE BEST DETECTIVE AGENCY

veth and jester love each other so fucking much. just in a clear, plain, deeply chaotic best friends kind of way that you don't find with any other pair, and i adore it.

do you ever think about nott and jester i don't remember what sparked this but I remember thinking so hard about it while walking back from work that i took a wrong turn. they're so good, yall.

the flask situation im always going to hold a small grudge against myself that i never sat down and wrote a meta about the resolution of the flask situation because I Really, Really Loved It. Instead we only have me being :( about the flask situation when it was a problem.

look they just love each other an anon gives me the chance to gush, you're damn right i will

EMPIRE SIBLINGS

i am now deeply, deeply perplexed because it seems despite my immense love for them i very, very rarely wrote out an actual meta for these two. what. thank goodness for the incredible empire siblings meta out there already. anyway let the record show: i love them. so goddamn much. there is an intention there, there is learned love, there is hands on shoulders and stilted apologies and "i have your back, you have mine" and gentle ribbing and holding each other accountable, learning each others edges. I love these two.

caleb telling beau oh my GOD i forgot this post existed, its a VERY early meta from when caleb first spills his backstory to beau and nott, and they were already incredible then. these two. these two.

siblings barely enough for me to qualify it as a meta, much less one i wrote, but, look how emotionally constipated they were at the start :')

dammit beau, no one leaves post the attempted hag deal. bit more of a speculation around the m9 as a whole but it stems from me being emotional about the empire sibs, ok

nerd corruption of all the people to read all the eyeball books, amirite

"have a lovely massage- C. W." me being unreasonably affected by the little note caleb left for the beauyasha date in 126

thank god it was them honestly not even a meta but just, thank god it was the two of them that got eyeballed, eh?

favorite platonic dynamics more of a juxtaposition of beau/Caleb and Beau/Fjord, but also touches on some of my favorite things about the empire sibs, so I'll leave it here. Written after 141, but isn't really spoilery.

edit: ok this is from during c3 but i like it so im putting it here. just more empire sib feels. learning to love. about hard won love. love as respect and pushback and hands on shoulders. yknow.

yet again, it is a CRIME that I don't have more meta for Caleb and Veth, but I think other people cover them beautifully. do i need to explain why their relationship is so, so deeply good? it is. its very good. forehead kisses and fraught, complicated love. bandaged hands and bolts through books. aah.

PARTNERS IN CRIME

you will always have a home here barely meta. short, sweet. full of meaning.

two birds on a wire again, not really a meta, but god this is an excellent amv

TEAM INTROVERT

yasha and caleb were both so quiet with so much guilt and grief and they both came so far. from coaching hugs to deep talks about redemption to spider scritches and a whole tower date. their friendship is so quiet and so lovely :')

thinking about team introvert and hard earned peace just a lotta feelings about yasha and caleb and their journey and them post campaign having quiet nights and gosh.

BLUE GALS

i love beau and jester an unreasonable amount- both together and separately. but apparently, i neglected to write meta for them until things had shifted some. dammit. let the record show that these two love each other. hands during dimension doors, "im a really good liar beau", late night roommate talks. dammit.

beau and jester, and where to go not very cheerful or lovey compared to most of the metas here, but. i still think about it sometimes. they love each other, dammit.

CALEB

I've always liked other people's meta for Caleb better than mine (and the same goes for Veth, Caduceus, and Yasha tbh). Caleb, you wonderful nerdy, orange themed, mischevious wizard. You've come so damn far.

don't want your pockets to be too heavy some thoughts after caleb read cali's letter, in a very family-heavy episode.

YASHA

Unfortunately the height of my love for yasha peaked after I had fallen out of writing meta. But the rage and flowers intertwined with her character are one of my favorite things.

you should reconsider your past decisions emotion dump based on the exchange she has with thoreau in episode 92. get FUckt thoreau.

left behind erm i wrote this after episode 69 and uh sorry sorry sorry sorry

okay, but, kamordah a follow up to the above after the "i fell in love with you in kamordah". technically equally beau and yasha, but. still a good follow up, i think.

VETH

loving and letting go a short meta written after her zuala dream in 105, about yasha and loving and losing and letting go

yasha i just found this one! its nice. nice.

veth is fantastic and powerful and i don't write for her very often because i don't think i'll ever have a grasp on her the way i'd like to, but good god. full of love and protectiveness and teasing and "us vs them" and sideways grins and unapologetic weirdness and a tendency to downplay abilities crossed with a fierce, overwhelming sense of self. gooooooooood shit.

empire sisters technically equally beau and veth, but a good touch on veth nonetheless, i think.

i think travellercon is it some thoughts from post-travelercon when we all didn't know if veth was going to leave

CADUCEUS

i don't really have caduceus meta, and i am appalled. I think I was always waiting for me to have some good words about it, and dammit I waited too long. Other people absolutely have a better read on him and I love reading meta about him, but I cannot, for the life of me, produce it. As a peace offering: some metas I liked for caddy can be found here.

arms length some short and random thoughts on Caduceus when he was still trying to be a wise older mentor to the m9 while Clearly Handling Some Issues, dammit Caduceus.

AND NOW

THE GRAND FINALE

THE MIGHTY NEIN

you weren't prepared for us the m9, as the force of nature that we understand them to be.

true facts some emotions from rumblecusp, because once upon a time they didn't know anything about each other, didn't trust enough to share anything about themselves, and then they were in a circle, relying on each other to remember true facts, saying "if i lose my memory, you know me enough to tell this to me".

spoken support these nerds learning how to ask for things from each other

found family a spread of thoughts from the rumblecusp arc about the Mighty Nein and how, after everything, all their growth they are irrevocably, irreversibly family. in a way that is thoughtless and full of love and meaning, in a way where if you lost all your memories and looked at these people surrounding you in a circle, listing their parents and their names, you would know that they loved you.

final wishes because the mighty nein sharing jokes about their last wishes but also very, very much meaning it, trusting each other to carry things on.

also, for funsies, my found family tag. :)

jk this is the actual finale: two, deeply sappy, deeply emotional posts about love within critical role as a whole. what a wonderful ride. may we all go on it again in campaign 3.

thinking about love in critical role some emotional thoughts during rumblecusp

a date night emotional and sappy after the tower date- not just about beau and yasha, but caleb and beau, and just the love and care through it all.

that's it. allegedly. i've definitely missed some, and if i tried to make a post about all the meta i've read from others that i loved, this would be miles and miles longer. if you made it all the way down here, congrats! I'm flattered. I'm not really expecting anyone to because this is very much a post for me, so i can find my own metas and feelings and love on demand (tumblr why is your search function so inexplicably terrible), but if you are here, let me say that: the CR fandom is the first and possibly only time I'd ever gotten INTO a fandom- producing things, interacting with people, sharing out all the Feelz and Thoughts, and it has been a goddamn gift.

Don't Forget To Love Each Other, hey?

EDIT: new final post from thoughts from the final battle, about love and anger and strength.

love will not always perform miracles, (but sometimes it will). and sometimes the miracle is just you, still standing. thats a miracle too.

EDIT 2.0: im full of emotions after 141 here you go

happy endings technically a meta about happy endings but mostly little vignettes of the mighty nein making space and time for each other in the close and distant future, because of course they will

[sparring-spirals]

uhoh empire sib meta time.

Courtesy of that last rb by @iinfernal thinking very hard (very affectionately) about love in the form of, we are going to work to keep each other on track. Especially with Caleb and Beau. Because like. its not just about newfound acceptance, people who will give you the benefit of the doubt and help you improve, people who see your worst and love you anyway, people who will forgive you.

Like its about that! But its also about- i trust you to drag me back if i stray. i trust you to call me out, to push back. i am putting my back to you- you will protect it, and you will also pull me back if i wander.

The first big backstory reveal between Beau and Caleb was an exchange, not a kindness. it was, tell me why you are afraid of fire, and ill get you into the library. Caleb laid out some of the corners of his guilty conscience, to Nott, with all of her faith in him, (he is my boy), to Beau, with her skepticism and brusque curiosity, and it was not meant as a soft gesture. It was not a call for forgiveness, or absolution- it was an item for barter, a warning, an admission of guilt.

and Beau- still unsure, still rough around the edges and rude and defensive and angry, shell-shocked and out of her depth did not provide forgiveness, or kindness. She said something along the lines of- good god, you know thats fucked up, right? i didnt ask for this, what the fuck.

She said something like: you know what you need to do now, then, right? prevent this guy from hurting more people. This is what you've gotta do now, I think- this is what we'll do-

And Caleb gets into the library, and casts haste on Beau in a bar fight, and there is something to be said about love shaped like a willingness to disagree, to push back, to say things wrong but try to say it anyway.

Caleb, and Beau, arguing. Beau is suspicious and Caleb is ready to run, and "the problem with friends is you have to care about them". Running into old injuries and boundaries, working to learn them, to fight to communicate. Apologies that are awkward but sincere. Kindness that is misshappen but intentional.

Caleb and Beau, butting heads, poking fun, trusting the other person to be suspicious of them, when it really counts.

"Can we keep each other straight?"

Some fifty episodes apart: have faith in us, just a little bit? dont run.

follow your own advice. don't go.

Caleb, vision and hearing gone and flung out ahead, placing a hand on Beau's shoulder. Lead me well, lead me straight, bring me back if I stray. Caleb and Beau, going in circles about what to do as the world ends, ambition and magic and time and guilt, and entities at war. Worried about evil, about going wrong, needing the clear vision of someone who loves you and will not eternally forgive you.

"I'm worried I am exactly what he said I was."

"Not yet."

God just. Love as keeping each other on track. Beau and Caleb, as the only ones to get the eyes, afflicted by searching too hard for knowledge. what a horror, to have you and your tether tossed into an unknown spiral. what a comfort- if it was any of them, at least it was both. The Mighty Nein, making contingency plans, Yasha sticking close to caleb and cooing over his animal forms and ready, ready, for the worst. What a nightmare. Thank god. "Im glad it was us."

"You drove me insane."

"I hated you. You sucked."

What love. What immense care. Years on in, and it all still comes back to:

"You got my back?"

"What's the play, Beauregard?"

[fishmechs]

anyway one of the really successful things about caleb and beau (to me) is how well liam and marisha played the kind of paranoia that comes with believing you're an inherently awful person (even if maybe you're not) and thinking that everyone else also sees this or will see this or has seen this and is pretending otherwise but they know and you're on borrowed time with them wanting anything to do with you

[the-caleb-widogast]

the mighty nein battle plan is actually so good to be honest. they get shit on for being unable to follow plans but it's only short term plans they're bad at. battle plans? oh they have lived and learned. the clerics got attacked when they were wandering off alone in a jungle so they make it a point to always split the clerics. even while travelling, jester-eagle isn't allowed to carry caduceus. never put beau and yasha on the same target unless there's only one enemy to make full use of their sentinel and reactions. split caleb and fjord apart so one is within reach to make a counterspell. have beau go first so veth can have sneak attack. the two wizards casting haste on allies and the clerics casting bless to give support. fjord and veth moving in to tank on the frontlines when it gets rough. the fact that fjord learned cure wounds despite his limited spell list even though he already has healing hands as a paladin. that makes the nein having 4 (the clerics, yasha, fjord) members who can restore health. 3 people (clerics and caleb) who can revive the dead. when beau went unconscious against the specter in rumblecusp, fjord and yasha were able to heal her and bring her back up even before it became the two clerics' turns. they said fuck you we're not losing anyone ever again.

[revvethasmythh]

dying at how many reactors think caleb and beau are being set up as an item. there are so many potential ships in the m9, but that is NOT one of them asfjlajlsfa

[revvethasmythh]

reactors: those two have feelings for each other

caleb and beau: we certainly have feelings for each other

The Narrator: they did have feelings for each other. the feeling was "friendship," but neither had ever experienced it before

[emily-axford]

CRITICAL ROLE Jester and Fjord’s Wedding

[blackmosscupcakes]

'Welcome to Wildemount' (CRITICAL ROLE ART MUSIC)

Just putting this here because I am EMOTIONAL about Welcome to Wildemount all over again. 🥺

[sparring-spirals]

in an absolutely inaccurate metaphor. the spirit of the m9 is sth like. you knock a hat (fake name and secret life) off the head of the mighty nein only to reveal another, smaller hat (expertly crafted secret name and fake life) underneath. and when asked about it they get really indignant about the fact you're asking why they were double hatting (multiple layers of lies) for literally like. a trip to the grocery store. also to be clear, their companions seem just as surprised about the reveal but are largely on their side of the "why are you NOT wearing double hats in the grocery store (lying about self and identity for what seems to be no reason)" and are now trying to exit through the window but also insulting you about it.

and also, later, it turns out they were right and they needed to be double hatting in the grocery store. so.

[the-caleb-widogast]

it's always hilarious how the mighty nein are the embodiment of 'you must be level 95 friendship with me to unlock my backstory.' there's the backstories of nott and caleb, the classics. the tragic backstory and name reveals by the river in felderwin that physically looked painful for caleb and nott to speak about but they had to so they could save yeza. fjord hiding his true accent until he almost bled out inside a volcano. caduceus not wanting to talk about his family until he the nein cornered him while they were in the hot tub in xhorhaus. didn't know all the detail's of beau's shitty home life until they were on the doorstep of the man who raised her. yasha keeping the reasoning for her book of flowers so close to her chest then absolutely decimating the party when she revealed who it was for. the depth of jester's relationship with the traveler and how far she was willing to go for him was revealed when they were on another volcano again. both knowing how slightly toxic it is but knowing they wouldn't be who they are without each other. every one of these reveals would have never been brought up by the character unless it was a matter of life and death. the ron swanson equivalent of not wanting anyone to know anything about you. truly the most secretive motherfuckers in exandria.

[hails-bop]

fucked up that i can't risk being a couple mins late to critical role now because brennan likes doing the most heinous fucked up cold opens known to man. im gonna get him. im gonna get brandon leaf maryland.

[yashley]

Tag Team At The Teeth: The Misty Ascent/Beyond The Shroud

[estelanel]

is this something

[trimmedbushproductions]

Critical Role Campaign 4 Episode 2:

[sparring-spirals]

delicious..... i love characters....lurve cr... okay hopping off for tn but i unfortunately enjoyed this so immensely.... watching first ep in my free time....? who can say. anyway enjoy liveblogging everyone! happy thursday!!! 😁🥳

[sparring-spirals]

face pressed up against the glass. what the fuck is going on here im so obsessed. agony cruelty and tyranny.... wicander and these three intertwined.... simmering tension between the three sisters......... Whispered Light..... The way Tyranny is responding with . unenthusiasm.

[sparring-spirals]

for a brief second i forgot travis is playing a huge hot lion man. my mistake . i will not make that mistake again

[sparring-spirals]

without fail i love to watch live play and get absolutely blown on my ass by how effectively aabria manages to establish tone and characterization and context and background, just by having dialogue and conversation with npc's. pc's too. but there's something so specific about the confidence and deftness with which she interacts with npcs that are embedded in the world that lend. so much insight to her characters. every time. what a fucking delight.