Bad Girls Go To Hell (1965)
I had the privilege of seeing this one years ago, so I’m glad it’s finally come up on the rotation.
Meg Kelton’s husband is off to work on a Saturday, which annoys her greatly as she wants to play. Her wiles are no use on him though, especially with Ed in town (we never meet Ed), although they will shower together. Protip: always blow a kiss to the painting of two Siamese cats before showering.
Soon she is begrudgingly tidying up the flat in one of the most useless outfits for cleaning known to man.
When taking out the trash, she encounters a brute/Igor sort of man, whom we assume is some sort of superintendent or custodian. She’s there and she’s female, so he rapes her, because 1960s.
Back in the apartment, Meg is distraught over what she will do. While she’s fretting, she receives a note from the guy saying to go to his place or else. She has no choice, because 1960s.
He threatens to tell her husband or else. She tries to give him money, but he tries to rape her again. He gets pretty far, but she bludgeons him to death with...an ashtray? What the hell was that thing? But then there’s a homicide to contend with in addition to her reputation. She’s more distraught over what her husband will think than anything, because 1960s. So she packs a suitcase and leaves, because 1960s.
She runs away to New York City, where anyone can disappear. She wanders about aimlessly with her suitcase in Central Park, remarkably not getting mugged and/or raped for being such an easy mark, when she meets Ed Bains. Same Ed that would be meeting her husband earlier or misuse of character naming? He invites her home as she has no money or anywhere to go, and she introduces herself as Ellen Green from Chicago.
She’s more than ready to be his new wife after they’ve lived together for who knows how long, which actually creeps him out. He clearly doesn’t know he’s the character of an exploitation film.
But after he comes home to find the meal she prepared consisting of nothing but whiskey, he gets mad, drinks his glass in addition to the entire bottle in a matter of minutes, and hits her around until passing out. She gets her stuff and flees before he wakes up, although not before giving him a tender caress on her way out.
She’s wandering the streets again when she meets Tracy at a store window. Exact dialogue, because OMG:
Tracy: Pretty, isn’t it? MegEllen: Mmhmm. Tracy: Beautiful color. Really smart. MegEllen: It’s beautiful. Tracy: *awkward staring* I see you have luggage. Where are you heading for? MegEllen: I wish I knew. I’m not heading for any place. Tracy: You mean you don’t have a place to stay!?!?!? MegEllen: No, I haven’t. Tracy: That’s too bad. Say, I think I can help you!
Well isn’t that just fucking convenient? This film is the true story on how to make coincidences work for you.
Her cousin coincidentally needs a roommate. Della is wearing full body lace stocking. Tracy immediately excuses herself to get ready for a hot date, because 1960s coinciding with lousy dialogue writing. MegEllen explains she has no money, but Della says, “Don’t worry; you’ll earn your keep.” And immediately everyone who enjoys girl-on-girl frolics is excited.
Fun fact: Tracy is played by Darlene Bennett, and Della is played by Darlene’s twin Dawn in a wig.
When pressed for what she does for a living, MegEllen says she is an “acrobatic dancer” and then “proves” it by doing some tumbling around the house. It is as hilarious as it sounds, and the scene ends awkwardly when MegEllen suddenly leaves the room.
At some point, Della will also decide they should dance, both in their underwear. They have somehow decided the voiceover should include humming a song that is not the soundtrack, creating audio chaos. When Della brings home a newspaper, MegEllen sees the headline: aw shit Boston PD lookin’ for a blonde in a murder case. She becomes nervous, but she doesn’t take off on Della until Della visits her in her bed at night for some Sapphic cuddling. That said, she goes along with it that night and doesn’t leave until the next morning.
We have two more places for MegEllen to conveniently find residence before the end of the film, and it’s only barely over an hour long. They are found through the crazy method of answering ads in the paper (same paper with the headline?) though still frightfully easy to get in.
If you watch this film enough times, there are gems of low-budget wonders that await you. This is my particular favourite, which you can tell because I put together a video of it:
Come for the bad girls; stay for the atrocious accents.
This film stars the adorable Gigi Darlene, who was friends with Darlene Bennett and that is how her performance name ended up with “Darlene.”
This film shares space with Another Day, Another Man. Extras include:
- Drive-in concession teasers
- Book pitch about sex, sounds like anthology of Penthouse letters
- Trailers
- Doris Wishman Gallery of Exploitation Art