#becomingness

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the human I am becoming inspires me

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This podcast is about learning to set (compassionate but firm) boundaries with your parents and in-laws. It is very Christian! (I am an atheist) and it is directed at “Moms” (I am non-binary), but there are some very useful pieces of wisdom in it. Dealing with in-laws is especially difficult, as sometimes I want to bite my mother-in-law’s head off. (Kidding. Kidding? Kidding). But I have been searching high and low for resources that will help me find a way to deal with it in a relational way—for my own good, for the good of my relationship, and for my (currently nonexistent) kids’ good. And this, surprisingly to me, was one of them. 

—Believer or not, the bible effects how our society effects people to behave. And one verse that definitely effects Western culture is “Obey your parents.” I think this verse is part of the huge shame people feel about speaking “against” their family, even if that family was abusive or toxic. Townsend seems to have a biblical “remedy” for that verse. As he says: ”The bible says: ‘Children obey your parents.’ It also says, ‘Adults honor your parents.’ But it never tells us once I’m a functioning adult that I must obey my parents. I must honor them. So then, what does honor mean? Honor means respect them and be thankful for the things they did that were right, and take their opinions into consideration... In the Old Testament to honor meant just to give weight to. But it never says obey them.” 

— Hurt is different than Harm. You can’t set limits in a way that people will love it. People always dislike limits. You may “hurt” people by setting limits, but you aren’t harming anyone. 

—When you reach out to them, start with ambitions of love and warmth. Don’t take the “guilt bate” in the form when your parents or in-laws put themselves in the victim role. Stick to your guns, but make them love guns (haha). 

[fewdisgewd]

[becomingness]

About Becomingness :)

Hi, to all my new likers :)

 I’m Vanessa Vickery, or Ness as most people like to call me. I am offering my services as your health and wellness ambassador. I am on journey of change, hence the name Becomingness.

 I currently studying an Advanced Diploma of Nutritional Medicine, which is due for completion in April 2014.

 Here is a bit about my background…..

 I have been on a life change ever since I became pregnant with my daughter Giselle. I have to admit it was really small steps at first, and it was not until I was pregnant with my son Joshua and found out that I had gestational diabetes that I decided that I needed to take my health seriously.

 I have struggled with weight issues for the past 12 years, but after snapping my Achilles tendon in 2006, I really packed on the weight. The heaviest I weighed was around 105kg and that was before I fell pregnant. I struggled with my confidence and it really affected me emotionally. I also constantly felt tired, lethargic and had no motivation to do much at all. Over the years, I managed to lose a bit of weight here and there by trying different fad diets – shakes, well known diet companies and by doing a bit of exercise, but didn’t get a long term results. I always ended up putting the weight back on and feeling pretty crappy about myself.

 On top of all that, I also was not happy with the career path I had chosen for myself.  I had worked in recruitment, human resources and customer service. All jobs that involved helping others, but not really areas that I was passionate about. During my pregnancy with Giselle, I started thinking about being healthier and what I needed to do to learn more about nutrition and how it affects the body. I came across the Australasian College of Natural Therapies and found a course that interested me, an Advanced Diploma of Nutritional Medicine. After a lengthy discussion with my husband, I decided to enrol and go from there.

 After giving birth to Joshua in April 2012, I started clean eating and exercising 5-6 times a week. I proceeded to lose 25kgs over the next 18 months. I am feeling much healthier, I have much more energy and feel pretty good about myself.

 So here I am, on a my journey and I really want to share what I have learnt and am continually learning with others, who might benefit from my recipes and tips. I welcome any feedback, personal stories and any questions on how I might be able to you.

 Welcome to Becomingness xoxox