Beelzebub sometimes felt less put together and more held together by a thousand fragile threads. Like they hovered over the edge of breaking into a thousand pieces and falling into an abyss, never able to function again. They clung to these fragile threads like lifelines, perhaps making them stronger just by sheer desperation. Didn’t most magic work by willpower anyway?
If it was magic keeping them from breaking down, it was magic that was swiftly failing. They were no longer in immediate danger, having found a safe space to hide, for now. Forced to flee their cottage with their remaining family intact.
But it was now that there was a moment to breathe, there was a moment to think. And thinking reminded them, with the utmost certainty, what they’d lost.
Mamm, Az, and Levi are not dead. Captured, misguided, lost, maybe, but not gone, they told themselves. You can get them back. You will get them back. Everything is going to be okay.
Except there was one person they were not getting back.
Beelzebub didn’t realize they were muffling a soft noise of distress until their hands were over their mouth.
God was gone. She was gone.
They left the room where they were keeping vigil over an exhausted Gabriel. Who had not been injured severely- more worn out from the amount of teleporting he had done. He would not wake until the next afternoon, but staring at his unconscious form as they tried not to scream wasn’t doing them any favors.
The building they were staying in was half falling apart. The only person with them was Bel, who was fast asleep nearby on the floor. He had exhausted himself today too.
They moved out of the room, and found a window so they could crawl onto the roof. Also falling apart. Not a good decision. They didn’t care. They needed to see the stars.
They had never had the same fascination with the stars as their best friend. But now, it sort of felt like their last connection to Her.
“Mother.” Beelzebub mumbled aloud to the stars. “Mum. I’m- I’m so sorry... for everything. For all of the awful stuff I said, and did... for not being able to forgive You for some of the stuff that happened, even now...”
There was no response but the words kept tumbling out of their mouth anyway.
“I- I don’t know what I’m doing. Mamm is kidnapped, Levi is missing, and Az...” They shook their head. “He might as well be gone, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this, I- I don’t know how. I’m scared. I need-“ They swallowed, hard. “Mum... I need Your help.”
The empty air didn’t respond, and Beelzebub felt some of those very fragile threads snap under the weight of the silence.
(( @ask-the-ineffable-being @askarchangelgabriel @ask-belphegor-infernal-sib @ask-warlock-dowling @ask-pepper-galadriel-moonchild @ask-the-rose-n-snapdragon @ask-the-bringer-of-storms have a big ouchie -Mod))