actually on the subject of bpd buck i was thinking earlier about the ways buck idealises eddie when He's Not There. and how this is only something he really does to that extent when eddie's Not There. because buck's so focused on eddie not being there that eddie becomes this sort of idol. buck creates an idealised version of him in his absence. case in point 8x11 when like, buck is just talking and talking about eddie like he’s almost saint-like. he has a SILVER STAR. he would NEVER DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL. and in part i think this idealisation comes from buck trying so hard to be okay with eddie being gone. because he KNOWS he acted irrationally about eddie leaving. he KNOWS eddie isn't abandoning him. eddie's a good guy and good father and it's not nothing. and well, buck MISSES him. and so he idealises him to combat all of his complicated feelings about eddie leaving. but CRUCIALLY he doesn't actually do this with eddie. like, all of this is still true. he still thinks eddie is the best guy ever. but he doesn't actually see him as this flawless, saint-like being. he's not afraid to tell eddie that he messed up. that he's human and makes mistakes and that it’s okay. he doesn't act like eddie can do no wrong ever TO eddie. and that's because of the nature of their relationship. he knows he can be honest with eddie and it won't change how eddie feels about him. he can tell eddie that he needs to face the consequences and that he needs to dad up without fear of argument or rejection because of the trust they have in each other, because of the trust buck has in eddie and significantly because of the trust eddie has in him. because eddie has unwaveringly put his trust in buck for seven years. has trusted buck with his heart, with his son. over ANYONE ELSE. like, generally buck is very secure in his relationship with eddie and isn't afraid to be brutally honest with him. he has instances of severe irrationality triggered by his abandonment issues (7x04 and 8x09 are big ones) but after the initial reaction he is able to recognise and acknowledge his irrational thinking. because fundamentally he knows that eddie trusts and values him more than he does anyone else. HE KNOWS THIS. he just can't always feel it because his brain is actively working against him to prove all his worst fears true (that he doesn't matter, that he’s easy to leave, that he’s replaceable etc.)
