The Meat Marauder
Beertender and beat smasher talks optimism, booty, and the importance of being there for yourself
Did you know you’re in a band?
Sorta.
What other bands are you in?
The Francis Theory, an underground garage metal band. Our #1 hit was “Hey, Skippy.”
What instrument do you play in SIDP?
Oh, boy. I play everything as needed. I will sing my heart out right into your face. I will bash and smash and crash some awesome beats.
What are your musical influences?
Blinkers in traffic.
Do you wear wool?
It makes me all itchy BUT I’m willing to do anything for the band.
Where were you born?
In a hospital.
What would the hospital say about you if it could speak?
We’ve seen a lot of babies up in here but that one was by far the coolest. I think I was born wearing sunglasses so that was pretty neat. If I remember correctly.
What’s the last thing you broke?
Probably a beer glass.
What’s the last thing you fixed?
Oh, God. Didn’t know that was an option.
What would you say your responsibilities are?
When I leave this house I feel it is my responsibility to be engaging with as many people as possible. To hopefully project my optimism on them. It’s hard to do.
What have you learned while doing this?
Some people take to it naturally and some people are very resistant to having other people enter their life.
What have you forgotten while doing this?
Sometimes it’s hard to turn it off and sometimes it’s hard to hang up this unnecessary hat. You feel like you’re here for the world and sometimes you forget you have to be here for yourself.
What do you do best?
I’m really good at eating. Yeah, that’s a strength.
Can you describe yourself using only pirate terminology?
Booty. Treasure. Loose canon.
Will your heart go on?
I think that sentiments will go on but I think the heart stops. It’s up to people to carry it on.
What’s the most difficult place you’ve been in?
I remember one time when I was in third grade. I was running at recess in a muddy field and I lost both my boots.
If you could say one last thing—
—Sprinkles!
If you could say one last thing without fear of retribution or follow up of any kind, what would you say?
Everything you do is beautiful.
INTERVIEW CONDUCTED, CONDENSED AND EDITED BY DEMOCRACY EVENTUALLY
