New to this and a lot of things!
I've heard of Tumblr for quite a long time, but I though, nah I don't wanna jump in.
But over the last few months, I've done some soul searching, especially around stuff and it led me to hop on the Tumblr train.
I'm 47, and I've conditioned myself to believe I was straight, that I like sex and that there's nothing wrong with me. In fact, there was something wrong, I have been uncomfortable in that box for years, I didn't fit in.
Four years ago, I started changing my life, well more my mind, which ultimately changed my life. I sought help for alcohol and drug addiction, which I thought were all my problems, when in fact for a very long time were the solution to help me forget about how stuck I was; in a very twisted way, drugs and alcohol kept me alive.
Anyway, I sought help, stopped using and drink to this day, and helped me uncover layers and layers of emotions I'd nicely tucked away. Today I am recovered!
My sexual orientation bubbled up last year, at that time, I'd been without having sex (happily) or sexual attractions for 7 years. When I'd say that to friends, they thought there was something wrong with me; "you just need a good shag" most said!
So, as I'm still conditioned in what I think I should be, I eventually hopped on dating apps, and had sex with one guy, and a ver promiscuous encounter with another. Both, especially the latter, left me even more confused and disgusted, at myself, at sex itself. "What's wrong with me?" I thought.
With support from my close friend, my daughter and therapist, I started doing some research: am I gay? Am I just like the Crazy cat lady in the Simpson 😂?
And asexuality popped in my research. I read about it, I could identify, I do identify. I am on the Ace spectrum, which makes me realise that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
However in my research, I noticed there isn't a lot of 40 something talking about it. And maybe it is time to do so!
When I started writing this post, I had no idea where it was gonna go. But, here it is: 47 year-old mum of a soon 23 year-old, LGBTGAI+ ally, on the ACE spectrum and proud to be me.
If this post helps you, then great!
