#being transgender

[bobashorriblechildhood]

Some vent(?) art

[shewolfofvilnius]

(the poem that they scrolled past, an ode to being trans)

They will always love you For exactly who you really are Just be yourself And you'll always go far.

The greatest lie I was ever told reliant on the souls of man Who fear and judge and scorn and loathe And wonder when the madness will end.

The young girl, eight, eyes eager and awed The world is so grand, so good Her world richer every day Friends and fun, a life not yet discovered

The young boy eight, eyes sad; subdued Why don't they like me, why am I wrong Dimmer, darkened, the grief grips tighter The road ahead has just begun

Five years on, changes come anew Life grows on as in it's way The teacher won't take her seriously But the mind knows it's strength Her friends plan a party Of course she's invited. They laughed cause she likes him But the heart knows it's want.

Be bold, be bad, be a man They won't let him breathe "I'll give you something to cry about" Says the one supposed to care above all (Why oh why can't he stop crying)

There is no time for the mind There is no time for the heart; He knows he won't like him But the weak has to be strong.

New things to learn New people to meet Time marches ever onward Down their lives' very streets

Life challenges they came for her every so many The looks, the words, disrespect of which she's aware. But she always knew who she was It was never in doubt. She found life, found love. In the end there was never a doubt.

For him the world choked and choked. Every privilege unearned Every benefit of doubt. Stay the course dear son, all will come about.

'Til finally the day came When he could take it no more Up he climbed, up to eight With his voice he gave a shout

'I can take it no more lord' he begged and he prayed My life is yours to take Do what thy must, I no longer have stake.

His prayers were answered On that twenty-eighth year Where he had driven up She had driven back down.

But the world is so cruel. And the damage was already done. No love, no life, just endlessly tread Until the world's hate spins anew

Die, [slur], die; they spat and shout What in all the heavens is this all about. I am the answered prayer Why would our loved one have lied. (And why oh why does she now cry)

The world in it's cruely It knows no true end. On the souls of those Who fear and judge and scorn and loathe.

Now she wonders if it's her turn Up there on that roof The pain without ceasing Of joy there's no longer any proof. No friends to visit No family to cheer. Eyes deadened and darkened Now she has seen the truth.

Yet still she persists. For he is long gone. 'For whoever wants to save their life will lose it' In this broken battered world.

The souls of men hate and they haunt. Without her education, her life is for want. No love born anew For that is not what men do.

But she fights, stands tall In this broken battered world. She chose to be herself Even if she can no longer go far.

For all she wants Is what she was told she could have A life of peace, love, and joy. And to be loved as I am.

[dysphoriaart]

Being Trans is Like...

Being trans is like moving to a new house but the owners left all their belongings there. The house is great and all, there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not your house. The couch is awesome the tables cool and the chairs look elegant, but it doesn’t match you. It’s not yours and you don’t feel comfortable in the house because it’s not yours. The items in the house don’t represent who you are, and you want to be proud of your home, to show it off to people and for them to be impressed and for them to compliment it and for them to be able to get an idea of the type of person you are just by seeing the decor. The things inside the house are supposed to represent your identity, but the things in the house just don’t fit it right. So you take what doesn’t work well out of the house, you keep what you want, and you accept what you can’t take out. You remodel and make the house your home, a place where you feel safe and comfortable and confident. A place you’re proud to show people. You didn’t change the house itself, the structure is still the same, the materials are the same, the memories are the same, the house is the same. The only thing that’s different is the way it’s presented on the inside and how it feels when you walk in. You can even change the outside! You can fix it up by planting trees and flowers, but it’s still the same house. It’s still the same house, but it’s happier. It’s still the same house, but it’s now a home.

[magnificent-winged-beast]

Eddie Izzard on Being Transgender | Joe Rogan

I love Eddie Izzard as an actor and athlete. I enjoyed this clip, because it helped me to understand and admire more those wonderful people that want to express who they are, beyond their gender assignment by default. And be more that society expect them to be.

[wondringlisa]

A change in job

Recently I was approached by a company asking me to go for a job interview, largely doing what I am doing right now.  Initially I was going to pass this by, but after I talked to the guy for a bit and found out it’s paying substantially more than I am currently. After making it clear to him that I am transgender/transsexual and that I am in the early months of my transition I decided I’d go for the interview (two Wednesdays ago as I type this).  The evening I confirmed this I ordered some clothes for the interview so I could go along looking smart, as this was to be my first job interview as Lisa.  However a full 7 days later and the morning of the interview they had still not shipped (was to pick them up in store) so i had to do a quick morning wash of a backup outfit.  

Eventually I got to the train station just after one train had left and the next was delayed. Everything that could go wrong seemed to be going wrong, the bus I needed to get to see me to the interview on time just drove right past without stopping and the next one ended up  dropping me off at the wrong stop (and after which i remembered I hadn’t actually been given my return ticket for the bus).  I was feeling so upset and disheartened I nearly canned it all, nearly turned around to go home.  My anxiety was really doing a number on me. However I decided to press on, and managed to calm down enough once I got to the company and had a glass of water and relaxed a bit before the interview. 

The interview went really well, the workplace has such a better atmosphere than the current place. I did feel so much more confident at this interview that I ever remember being in an interview before, and by the time I left I felt that it had gone well and was feeling quite confident.  

Given the mess up with the busses I opted to just walk to my next stop, the local hospital for a blood drawing for my next hormone level check. It's so crazy, in the time it took for me to walk from the new company to the local hospital (about 30 odd minutes) I received a phone call from the guy who had asked me in for the interview, I’d got the job. Seems I really impressed them. This is the best response I've ever had at an interview. Must be something to do with being my true self at long last. <3

So I have now handed in my notice at my current job, and in 4 weeks time I’ll be starting at my new workplace :-)

[lapactik]

numb n tired

[90waves-100dunes]

can’t be misgendered if I stay alone locked up in my bedroom