#beloften

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[ietsuitmijnpendatwoordenwerden]

De hele wereld maakt valse beloften.

Herinnering voor mezelf

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an oldie from quarantine

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[v-ceulemans]

Homilie voor het hoogfeest van Kerstmis, de geboorte van de Heer

woensdag 24/donderdag 25 december 2025 – Wezel/Rosselaar/Hulsen lezingen: Kerstavond: Jesaja 62,1-5          Titus 3,4-7(BGT)    Lucas 2,1-14 Kerstdag: Jesaja 52,7-10            Hebreeën 1,1-6      Johannes 1,1-18 Beminde broeders en zusters, wat aangekondigd was, is tot vervulling gekomen. De beloften van God, die ons de voorbije weken in de advent zijn herhaald, die ons vervuld hebben met…

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journal excerpt no.2

19.10.23

“What do you live for?” 

‘…What?’ 

“My new therapist asked me that today,” he said, a slight chuckle in his voice. “It was my first visit with her. It’s a pretty standard question when you get a new therapist.” 

I was silent, plunged into a speechlessness that I wasn’t expecting on a casual ride to the Spirit Halloween store. In my 31 years, I had never asked myself that question. Hell, I had never even thought about asking myself that question. ‘Why am I here?’ Why are any of us here? Obviously it wasn’t a choice that anyone had made. You were brought into this world on the volition of two other humans. But staying, it’s something I never thought about. You always hear about suicide rates climbing. You know it exists, it happens. Maybe sometimes and errant ‘what if…’ flits through your mind, its origin unknown, but I realized in that moment how scary it must be to live in a mind that thinks about it. Has to find a reason to stay. 

I couldn’t answer the question right away. Why was I here? It certainly isn’t for my job - anyone working in retail can agree there. It’s easy to say you’re living for other people: your parents, siblings, significant other, family, pets; but a reason to live for yourself sounds like it should be so obvious. Is it obvious for other people? Is it weird that it isn’t obvious for me? 

“I’m still here because I want more dogs,” I finally reply. “And that’s a serious answer, too. It sounds silly, but I know having a dog in my life has always made me happy.” 

He chuckles and lets it go. We make it to the strip mall where the Spirit Halloween store is, and he tells me his dad loves the Chinese Buffett a few storefronts down. I mention I’ve never been to one and we start making plans to find “the best one, so it doesn’t ruin it forever” for me to try sometime soon.