“Just listen to my voice, focus on me,” and “hold my hand, I’m right here with you”
request from: @carloswilliamcarlos - I’m gonna throw these prompts at you please: “Just listen to my voice, focus on me,” and “hold my hand, I’m right here with you” for Ben? Thanks for sharing!!
warnings: heat exhaustion? written loosely off of my many experiences lol - gender neutral reader
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“I hate sand.” Ben stated angrily.
Ben truly was a city boy. He’d rather have hard concrete under his feet than loose sand.
You, on the other hand, were excited to leave the busy urban sounds and meet the noise of crashing waves. So excited, you neglected the precautionary measures one takes at the beach. Like, eating, drinking water, and applying sunscreen.
Ben wasn’t starkly pale, but his skin burned and rarely tanned. So, he applied sunscreen vigorously.
Ben’s a big guy, and in order to keep up his physique, he eats. A lot, and often.
And Ben had many water bottles packed, loaded with ice cubes to survive the sun.
By the time he had grabbed everything out of the car, you were already stripped and in the open water.
Ben loved seeing you happy, elated, to be away from the stressors of your daily lives. Laid out on the towels, under the umbrella, Ben pulled out a book and kept an eye on you in the water.
You shifted from laying in the shallow water, enjoying the waves hitting your body, to swimming to the far points of the water boundaries. Even with all your moving, Ben still kept track of where you were.
To you, it felt like brief moments passing by. In reality, you were prancing around the beach for nearly an hour.
The longer you were out, it took more energy to get from the buoy to the actual beach. And Ben could see the exhaustion in your body.
It was too much, the sun radiated in a sky with no clouds, the water flooded your ears and stung your eyes, and you were simply tired. As you were finally able to feel the ground under your feet, you tried your hardest to yell, “Ben!” It was nearly inaudible, but he still heard you.
Immediately, Ben dropped his book and ran to meet you by the water. Cares about the sand getting in between his toes, gone.
Your eyes grew heavy, and your head pounded, and the ringing in your ears grew incessant. Just lay down here, you thought, and down you went.
Before your knees hit the sand, you felt a steady pair of hands scoop under your arms. “Hold my hand, I’m right here with you,” you heard quietly, under the ringing. Not able to do much else, you lifted your heavy hand and found Ben’s.
Your body finally met the ground, but instead of sand, you felt the plush fabric of the towels Ben had packed lay underneath you, as he cradled you in his lap.
Overstimulated, your eyes fluttered aggressively, and your breather hitched rapidly. On top of that, you couldn’t tell if the tears running down your cheeks were your eyes’ instinct to flush out the salt, or your emotions taking over.
“Just listen to my voice, focus on me,”
You trust that voice, you love that voice, and when the cold lip of a water bottle met your lips, you didn’t push it away.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’tve let you run out so quickly.” Ben murmured, running his fingers over your forehead. “God, you’re burning up, keep drinking. Are you hungry? Want to sit in some AC? I think I packed ibuprofen if you have a headache.”
The ringing in your ears and the pounding from your head began to cease. “You’re sorry? I was an idiot for just running around.” You said apologetically. “Can I have a granola bar, please?”
Ben brought the already-opened package to your lips to let you take a bite. He smiled and kissed you from your temple to your shoulder.
“I was just happy to see you happy, running around the beach.” Ben said, “Everything has been so stressful lately, you deserve a break like this.”
You grabbed a cold grape from the bag Ben had packed in the cooler. He did think of everything. “I don’t deserve you taking care of me like this.” You said while chewing the fruit.
“Sweetheart, taking care of you is all I want to do. And that means I should make sure you’re fed and hydrated before you run around the beach.”
“You’re too good for me, Solo.” You said, giving him a loving kiss to his lips.
-
thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed it :) i appreciate feedback and welcome suggestions. additionally, if you have a request from this prompt list, shoot me a message or inbox me! they’re always open.
I’m in the process of reworking this. The reason you can’t find the chapters is because they are gone. I recently reread what I’d written and realized there was 0 coherence. SO...here we are.
+Ben is so big that when you cuddle its like you’re just getting completely wrapped up in him.
+At night in bed he wraps an arm around your waist and tugs you back into him, he nuzzles into the back of your neck and you’re just spooned into him. He essentially envelopes your whole body.
+Sometimes you roll over and push him back onto his back so you can lay on his broad chest.
+Your legs tangle together, he kisses the top of your head, and you listen to his heartbeat. You’re just so thankful he’s alive.
+Ben loves to wrap his arms around your waist from behind. Everyone is comically small compared to him but he loves to just feel your back pressed to his front and you always reach up and touch the side of his face while he does it and he loves that.
+Gentle and simple touch is something he can’t get enough of, even if its just you squeezing his arm so he loves cuddling. He loves feeling your hands run along his back, between his shoulder blades and into his hair.
+Ben cant get enough of you burying your face in his chest or his shoulder, he loves how you feel safe enough to curl up into him. So he’ll always choose to just hold you, cradling you in his arms.
+He likes to drag you back into his lap, sitting you down on top of him. If he could be touching you at all times he would be. He likes to cuddle you into him while standing, sitting and lying down and he has a favorite position for each one.
+For a long time after he was back he struggled with cuddling, he felt too vulnerable letting you hold him, or stroke his hair.
+So he’d cry, and try to push you away but you needed it and you knew he needed it. So you’d cling to him and let him pretend he wasn’t crying.
+Now he’s always the one cuddling at night until you complain that he’s like a furnace and making you too hot.
+And even then, some part of his body has to be touching you, his hand on your back, or tangled in your hair, or his leg crossed over yours.
@amadwomanrambles : Hi! I would love to request a Ben Solo x Reader where Ben doesn't die at the end of TROS and returns to the Resistance where he runs into the reader who was an old flame that he thought had died a long time ago. Thanks much!
Happy New Years Eve! Final post of 2019!!!
——————
Y/N climbed out of her X-Wing, a smile plastered across her face as she looked around at the celebrating Resistance.
The war was over. And they had won.
Y/N slid down her ladder, getting caught in a hug by her best friend and Co-General, Poe. The two pilots laughed, grinning as they went to greet their other friends. Poe and Y/N found Rey and Finn, pulling them into a tight hug, the four squeezing their eyes shut and savoring the moment.
Y/N smiled, looking around her as shouts of joy and hope echoed through the forests. Sighing, she began to turning to find Lando to begin organizing the inevitable debriefing when she felt something spike in the force.
She narrowed her eyebrows, trying to concentrate on what it was, losing her focus.
Meanwhile, after having spoke with and settling terms with Poe and Finn, Ben watched the clearing from a far when he felt it too. The force trying to tell him something, maybe?
Ben looked around, his eyes falling on a confused girl in a pilot uniform. Ben felt the world stopping around him as he stared at her. Was it really her? After all these years?
Ben walked down the paths of the new Jedi Temple, sighing. He tried to suppress the voice of Snoke further down in his mind as he snuck into a certain hut.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw another person in his hut, a soft grin on his lips as he closed the door.
Y/N turned around, smiling at him. “Hey Ben.”
Ben smiled back, walking towards her. Y/N threw her arms around his shoulders, kissing his cheek. Ben rubbed circles around her back, resting his head on hers.
“Master Luke could catch us one of these times, y’know.” Ben teased. This had become a running joke between the two. Anytime they were intimate or showed their love for each other, it was an empty reminder that they were breaking Jedi codes.
“Oh I’m sure he could.” Y/N played along, running her fingers through his raven hair. “We’d be expelled from the Jedi religion, yeah?”
“Then I guess we should be careful.” Ben smirked, falling onto his bed with her, Y/N letting out a squeak which dissolved into giggles.
Ben shook his head, making his way toward the woman.
Meanwhile, Y/N was still lost as to what the force was trying to convey to her. She sighed, ignoring the pull and turning to walk back to her tent to change out of her dirty pilot uniform.
She was walking away from the crowds when she heard a familiar shout.
“Y/N!”
“Y/N!”
The girl’s chest heaved, turning to the shout. Her ignited lightsaber shook in her hands, her entire body drenched in sweat and ash. The Jedi Temple burned to the ground around her, the girl having fended off a black-clad intruder.
“Ben!” Y/N cried out, turning to see the boy standing among the flames. She turned off her saber, running to him. “Ben, what’s happening, I—“
“Stop.” He commanded, Y/N’s body freezing and going rigid as Ben used the force to halt her approach to him.
Y/N, confused, uttered his name again. Ben fought to keep his face stoic, Snoke screaming in his mind: “Kill her. Kill the past. Kill her.”
Ben reached to his side, igniting his blue lightsaber. Y/N’s eyes widened, barely managing to use the force to break away from him before his saber sliced through her torso.
Y/N rolled back, igniting her saber as blue on blue clashed against each other. “Ben! What are you doing?!”
“What I have to.” Be growled, before attacking again. The exchange went for a while, sabers colliding, light fizzling in the air as the cracks of sound echoed through the Jedi campus. Suddenly, Ben kicked Y/N’s knee, the girl staggering back as he lifted the lightsaber and cut a gash downwards from Y/N’s shoulder.
Y/N screamed out, crumbling to the ground as blood began to soak through her robes. She looked up at Ben a final time, noticing the hurt, remorse, and horror in his eyes, though his face looked undeterred. “I’m sorry.” He murmured, before turning and walking away from the ruins.
Y/N shakily sat up, clutching her shoulder. She realized, in that moment, Ben was gone.
Tears slid down her cheeks as the world burned around her, haunted by the eyes of her lover.
This was so much worse than getting caught by Master Luke.
Y/N turned, her breath catching in her throat as she made eye contact with Ben. The man seemed frozen, staring at Y/N in disbelief.
Ben stumbled forwards a bit, seeming to grasp for words. “I—uh... hey.”
“Hey.” Y/N managed, still trying to grasp that he stood before her. Ben seemed to walk on eggshells, Y/N could hear his thoughts as plain as day.
I can’t believe she’s here. She looks good. How could she trust me, I don’t trust me. What do I say, what do I say?!
“You... don’t have to say anything.” Y/N assured, a small smile crossing her face.
Ben’s face went red, his thoughts suddenly closed off. Y/N began to approach him, the man squirming. She noticed his familiar demeanor, his ticks and disposition. So very incredibly like Ben Solo, and so enormously not Kylo Ren.
“Do you want a drink?” Y/N asked. Ben stared incredulously, before nodding.
“Yes. Please.” He answered, Y/N gesturing for him to follow her. They walked through the camp, Y/N disappearing into a tent for a few moments before coming out with two bottles.
She offered one to Ben, who gladly took it. Y/N opened hers, taking a swig.
“So, you’re a pilot?” Ben asked, trying to diffuse the tension and break the ice with her.
Y/N smiled. “Yeah. Red Commander. I joined the Navy after...” she trailed off, Ben casting his gaze downward. Y/N cleared her throat. “Anyway, one thing came to another, and I was recruited by the Resistance.”
“Wow, that’s great. Commander L/N.” Ben mused.
“Hey, that’s General to you, sir.” Y/N smirked, tipping her bottle slightly in his direction.
Ben was caught by surprise. “Woah, Y/N... that’s huge, congratulations.”
Y/N shrugged. The silence stifled them again, the two awkwardly drinking their booze.
Ben coughed awkwardly, about to say something (probably embarrassing) again, but he was caught off by Y/N dropping her bottle, grabbing both sides of his face and kissing him. Ben stiffened before melting into the kiss, the two relishing in each other.
Y/N pulled away, looking into his eyes. The eyes of Ben Solo. “Sorry, I just...”
“Why?” Ben asked. Y/N looked at him in confusion, her head tilted ever so slightly to the side. “Why... how can you still look at me like this? After all the things I’ve done, after all I’ve done to you?”
“I’ve always loved you, Ben.” Y/N smiled softly, shaking her head. “I can’t hate you. No matter how much I’ve tried, believe me. You still matter so much to me.”
Ben sucked in a breath, his heart racing. “I don’t deserve you. I’m not who you should love, I’m a monster.”
“You’ve never been a monster to me.” Y/N murmured, kissing the corner of his lips. She leaned in, her lips brushing his ear in a whisper before turning and walking toward her tent.
“Careful, Master Luke might catch us.”
Ben stood rooted in place, his mind still reeling in disbelief. Slowly, however, a smile creeped across his face as he touched his lips.
Okay so here are THE WIPS!! (And other fandoms I’ll write for...)
~ Rebellion - Lies (Part 2) (Ben Solo X Reader) (and yes, you can all be added to the tag list ❤️)
~ Ben Solo x Reader where the reader takes Rey’s place and the end of TROS is fixed up a little bit so that ya know...it isn’t incredibly sad.
~ Ben Solo x Rey end of TROS fix
~ Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x apprentice!Reader where the reader is force sensitive and jealous of Rey because she feels overlooked. Lots of angst!!! Ah! (and yes you can all be added to the tag list ❤️)
~ Hux x Reader
~ An interesting Ben x reader chaptered fic that I’ll talk ab in a bit
~ other requests! I’m still writing for other series and fandoms, I just gotta get the inspiration going for them again. I’ll still be writing for Sex Education, Good Owens, Bandersnatch, and The Umbrella Academy. I just gotta get back!!! It’s been a while since I’ve written for that stuff! I’ll also write for Stranger Things and Derry Girls!!! And requests are still open!!! Love y’all!! See ya soon :))
summary: after the events of the rise of skywalker, ben solo and rey of jakku make work on gathering and training the next generation of jedi on the planet of ajan kloss. you are a force-user from tattooine. there are two things you’re sure of: there’s much work to do, and you do not like jedi master ben solo.
pairing: jedi master!ben solo x jedi!reader
word count: 1.6k
a/n: this is an au and does contain some spoilers for tros. anyways, i’ve been chipping away at this for a few days now -- merry christmas if you celebrate! if not, happy holidays! here’s my little gift to you.
If someone had asked you where you saw yourself in a year, you wouldn’t have answered, “on Ajan Kloss, of course, running the jungle training course blindfolded, being nipped in the heels by blaster fire from a rusted out JTR-47 droid”.
Certainly, you wouldn’t have explained that you, and many others, were a part of the first class of Jedi to be trained by the legendary Jedi Master Rey of Jakku and Ben Solo-Organa, ex-Sith lord and one of the last Skywalker’s.
But, here you are.
After all, everything changed on Exegol.
Everything.
And when Ben Solo and Rey limped from the carnage of the great hall, force dyad split wide open for the world to see like a raw wound, the war around them began its end in soul quaking violence. The two, bound by the running river of the force, witnessed the end of the Empire -- old and new -- from the cockpit of his Uncle’s old X-Wing.
It’s done.
In the silence of space, they find comfort.
Age old wounds finally begin to heal under the stars.
The war is won.
On Ajan Kloss, Ben Solo falls to his mother’s knees and weeps. Leia Organa cannot remember the last time she held her son -- and for a moment, the whole of the Resistance hangs on the reunion of the last Skywalkers, and the swing of emotions that rush between mother and son through a rekindled home in the lightside of the force.
Leia holds him and Ben smiles for the first time in years.
Everything is different; with the war won, with Palpatine gone...
There’s much work to be done.
Rey is as much his opposite as she is his right hand -- their dyad, though often annoying and terribly troublesome, allows him to have a true friend for the first time in... forever. She is, despite her polarity in approach and attitude, an important part of his life.
And without her, he’s not really sure if this whole rebuilding-the-Jedi-Order thing could happen.
It’s with R2′s help that they locate an age-old holocron buried deep in a temple on Yavin’s third moon -- the names of children who were once designated as ‘gifted’ by the Jedi Order lay in the record. It’s something. The archival piece is nearly rusted shut with age but opens with a delicate tinker when it passes into Ben’s hands.
It’s beautiful.
Pale blue light flickers awake the information inside, presenting a list of names -- a list of lives -- protected deep within the holocron’s humming databank.
When Rey, Ben, Fin and Poe return to Ajan Kloss, hopeful and excited about the prospect of finding others -- it’s with a mournful tone that Leia explains the systemic hunt the Empire conducted to snuff these children out.
“Many of them,” she says softly, “are gone.”
So, perhaps it’s pure chance they find you -- maybe it’s a cosmic happenstance granted by perfect timing and a straight shot in the dark.
Kau'i Koi -- Human -- 10 years old -- Location: Mos Espa, Tattooine.
Your chain code is old -- but places you in a small, old-Empire controlled mining town just outside the Western Dunes.
Ben is skeptical. He blames his dad -- that Solo trait runs through his blood more than anything, along with a bad habit of getting himself into things he can rarely get himself out of. It’s the temper. And off-putting sense of humor.
Whatever.
Ben has to duck when they enter the cantina. Rey is quick to bound ahead of him, leaving the Solo to tug at his poncho and pry the goggles from his face. The sand storm outside has finally started to die down, leaving Chewie looking rather windswept as he steps inside beside him; the Wookie gargles out a bitter complaint.
“No kidding,” Ben supplies, “Let’s hope we find who we’re looking for.”
God, he hates sand.
Shaking his boot, Ben trails Rey to the bar. She’s already chattering excitedly with the barman, eyes alight in that curious way -- the sand doesn’t bother her. Not in the slightest. In fact, she seems to relish in the Jakku-like atmosphere of the desert planet.
“We’re looking for a Kau’i Koi?” she asks, leaning in on her elbows, “Do you know where we can find them?”
“Koi’s been dead a long time,” is the gruff retort she gets. Immediately, the Jedi’s posture sags and Ben sighs, “But her daughter’s around --”
“Daughter?”
“Yeah,” one of his four hands tosses the bar rag over his shoulder, “She runs her Ma’s medicinal shop now. Kid’s got a good hand at elixirs...”
Rey blinks. Ben, narrowing his eyes, tosses five credits on the bar. “And?”
The bar-tender spares a quick look around, leans in and takes the bribe before saying: “Rumor has it, she’s got some Force mumbo-jumbo goin’ on. Buddy a’ mine jacked up his shoulder in a pod-racing accident -- Koi’s kid just...”
He snaps.
“Good as new.”
And that’s how they found you -- wrist deep in an old text about the distilling of certain Felcuian herbs that allows for maximized healing potency. The book, though, is quickly forgotten in exchange for a weary sense of confusion that follows the two people and the Wookie into your cozy, small shop.
“Can I help you?”
You stand, dark root-died robes tied close to your waist. Your tanned, Dewback hide boots mute your movements as you weave through the mud hut.
The first thing Ben Solo realizes is that you’re beautiful. Truly.
(You must be about his age, if not a year or two his younger. There’s something about the quiet calm in your voice -- you hold an air of posture and regality and kindness that falls short on him. You move, too, like a whisper in the wind. You’re quick, a bit like Rey, and far his opposite as he ducks below trinkets daring to clock in him in the forehead.)
The second thing Ben Solo realizes is that you’re dangerous.
Your eyes fall on the lightsabers holstered on either of the hips the moment Rey asks if you’re Kau’i’s daughter. You remember, in that moment, the warnings your mother had nursed you on.
There are people in this world that want you dead for the gift you’ve been given, sweet one. Protect yourself and that gift.
In one swoop, you’ve got a knife to the neck of Ben Solo and a hand raised, stopping the woman with the three buns in her tracks. The Wookie, hurriedly, raises his furry fists in surrender.
The women grits her teeth, muscles locked in a tumultuous state thanks to the force seizing them entirely. Ben is quick to note the control you have over your powers. The knife digs in a bit too much and he winces.
“Who are you?” you ask quickly, calm lost for a terrified look.
Ben raises his hands. “Jedi.”
The first thing you realize about Ben Solo is that he’s handsome. In a rugged, roguish, distrusting sort of way.
You decide, quickly, you don’t like him.
“There are no Jedi,” you spit, grip tightening on the woman as she writhes -- your attention is on the man, with dark eyes and long legs and a handsome face, “The Empire came and killed them. What they left, the First Order finished.”
Rey winces.
“Is that... Is that what happened to your mother?”
We’re not here to hurt you.
Like a rush of cold water, you feel the pass of something along your mind’s consciousness. It’s enough of a distraction to break your hold on the woman who asked -- and it leaves you treading in a sea of panic. It’s an intrusion; a rude prodding of your memories and thoughts that comes like a sideswipe of a pod-racer.
Rey falls to the floor and Ben pushes the blade from his throat.
You step back and raise the knife. Your hands tremble.
“... How do you know about my mother?” you whisper.
"Ben,” she says, “The holocron.”
“... A holocron?”
The tall man digs it from his bag -- the moment it falls into your fingers, the delicate blue crystals interlock backwards, gilded edges rusted from years of hiding away in from age-old temple revealing a data-sequence. A list of names. And your mother’s lay there, highlighted alongside her chain code.
“Only a force user can open it,” says the man -- the one you understand to be Ben -- rather quietly.
You blink. Immediately, the bridge between yourself and the force closes and the holocron snaps shut.
You shove it back his way.
“What do you want?”
That’s when Rey smiles.
And that’s how you find yourself here, six months later, running head on into a thousand year old S’pio tree. The impact itself renders the younglings amused -- the gaggle of them lingering by the upper platform dissolve into laughter as you grip your ribs and groan, rolling into the brush as you swat at the JTR-47 droid nagging at your head incessantly.
“Koi!” it’s a fast bark of your mother’s surname that gathers the attention of everyone on the training course. It comes from Master Ben Solo, swathed in dark robes and perched on the top platform. “Begin again!”
Gritting your teeth and baring the annoyance, you tug the blindfold off your face and begin the hike back to the start of the course.
