must be a dream - part 3
MASTERLIST
(welcome to part 3 and i hope u all enjoy this wild roller coaster :))) ALSO i will take every single billy pic/gif yall have plz lolol)
Word Count: 2,475
“And that’s where we are now,” says One. “Here in your apartment while completely disregarding apparently everything. Ya know, staying dead isn’t that hard!”
One had turned around to give Billy an irritated look. He rolls his eyes as he continues to hold Stella close to him. Everyone looks back to you and watches as you stare into space with your eyebrows knitted together. Tears welled up in your eyes as they suddenly begin pouring down. You don’t fight them back or wipe them away. You allow them to trickle down as your mind is racing. You’re trying to wrap your head around everything One had just told you. You weren’t sure how to feel at the moment.
You were beyond happy to know that Billy was alive and well, but you were also beside yourself. You were hurt and angry, but mostly offended. You lightly shake your head as your eyes scan the room and lock with Billy’s. He swallows hard as your eyes narrow and your chin quivers. He hates seeing you like this. You were destroyed and this was all his fault.
“You abandoned me.” you barely whisper.
His heart shattered even more. His face drops as he continues to watch you in distraught.
“You promised me you’d come back and you never did!” you slightly shout as you stand up fast. “You left me for… For strangers! You left me all alone to cry myself to sleep, so what!? So you could become some superhero? You gave up everything to play dead!?”
The anger that you had bottled up was finally about to explode. You could feel it burning and gurgling in your chest as everyone takes a step back from you. Your face was going red as your eyes were becoming dark. Billy holds Stella even closer to him as he fights back tears. You were speaking the truth and he knows it.
“I know,” he says fast. “I know that I hurt you and destroyed what we have! You don’t think it killed me every day to not be able to see you?” he asks.
“It killed you!?” you ask loudly as you take another step towards him. “How about me going more than a year thinking that you were actually killed!”
Billy didn’t know what else to say. He felt defenseless. No matter what he says, you were always going to bite back even harder.
“I will never forgive myself for leaving you, y/n.” he says quietly.
It goes silent for a moment as you two just stare at each other. Your chin quivers as you slowly shake your head.
“If I hadn't seen you at the park… Would you have ever came back?”
You asked a question you already knew the answer to. Billy just stares at you with wide eyes as he thinks about it. He doesn’t answer fast enough and you knew it. No. He wouldn’t of. If you hadn't seen him today, he would’ve snuck away and would have still been dead to you. That’s what hurts the most to think about.
“You didn’t want me anymore,” you whisper.
“That’s not true!” Billy harshly whispers back as he takes a step forward.
You ignore him as you continue speaking.
“You abandoned me when I needed you the most and if I can go all this time thinking you’re dead, I can go even longer.”
That statement is what causes Billy to stop in his tracks and lose his breath. It’s as if someone had punched the air out of him. No matter how hard he tried to breathe, he just couldn’t. You can’t look him in the eyes as you walk up and grab Stella from his arms. You hold her against you as you quickly backup and stare at the floor. You were shaking hard as you wipe tears away and sniffle.
“You don’t get to play dead and decide when it’s more convenient for you to come back into our lives. You need to leave.”
Your tone was stern, but still hesitant. Of course you didn’t actually want Billy to leave. You wanted him to stay with you forever and always, but you were angry. Beyond angry. No words could describe this feeling inside. You just couldn’t look at him right now. Every time you do, you get more upset. The rest of the gang all look to Billy with their eyes wide. They knew how badly this was hurting him.
One watches you for a moment as he frowns and walks up to Billy. His heart hurts for you as well, but he needed to take care of his team. He pats Billy on the back and leans in a bit.
“We need to go.” he whispers.
Billy is still staring at you as he nods his head, but doesn’t move his feet. He’s frozen in place.
“C’mon, Four.” whispers One as he slightly pushes him towards the door.
You want to scream out and tell him to come back, but you don’t. You just watch as everyone exits the apartment. Billy’s the last one to leave, but before he does, he turns around to look at you once more.
“This is where we’re staying and these are our room numbers. Just… In case.” says Two as she slides a piece of paper on your desk.
You watch her quietly as you nod your head slightly. Billy is watching you intensely as he speaks.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he chokes out. “I was doing something good for once. Something I thought would make you proud.”
“And you thought making me proud would be by deserting me?” you spat at him.
You didn’t mean to be so harsh and cruel towards him. You know that every time you are, his heart breaks a little more. You couldn’t help yourself. This anger you felt had a mind of it’s own and you couldn’t control it. You just needed to be by yourself. Billy flinches at your harsh words as he shuts his eyes and tenses his jaw. He takes in a deep breath and turns to walk out.
“I still love you.” he mumbles just before closing the door behind him.
Once it’s shut, you hurry up to it and lock it fast. You gently rest your head on top of Stella’s as your eyes squeeze shut. You begin sobbing as your body shakes. You force your way to your bed and sit down on it before your legs go out from underneath you. Stella coos a bit as she wiggles around and drifts to sleep. You thank the gods that you have her in your life. You kiss the top of her head as you lay her down beside you. You lay down as well and close your eyes. Exhaustion hits you like a ton of bricks as you drift off to sleep.
***
“Well, that went as planned.” sarcastically says One.
Everyone rolls their eyes as Billy sits on his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest. He’s lost in thought as they all speak about what had just happened.
“What if she turns us in?” asks Five.
“She wouldn’t do that.” Three says fast.
“How would you know!?” asks Five defensively.
“Because you saw the look on her face!” shouts Three. “She’s not saying anything!”
They all begin talking at once as Billy completely mutes them. His mind is focused on you and Stella only. He then suddenly remembers the letters you wrote. His eyes go wide as he leans over the bed and grabs his backpack. He unzips it fast and pulls out the bundle of letters with his name on them. He holds them close to his chest as he slowly and quietly makes his way off of the bed and towards the bathroom. Nobody notices him as they all bicker at one another. Billy locks the door behind him and walks to the bathtub. He steps inside and sits down. He needed to read at least one more you had wrote. He just needed a part of you with him.
Dear Billy,
Two weeks have passed since my last letter to you. I stopped writing for many reasons. Preparing for a baby is very time consuming (I’m sure you’d love every single second of it), work has been busy and, well… I feel almost silly for doing this. For writing to someone who I’ll never see again. Someone who will never read any of these. But ever since I stopped writing to you, something strange has been happening.
I see you everywhere, Billy. I’ve seen you as clear as day on the other side of the road while I’m out for a stroll. I’ve stopped in my tracks as you just stared at me. It was so real, Billy. It was as if you were actually there, but you weren’t. The moment someone walked by, you would vanish and I would feel completely insane. You’re everywhere and yet nowhere all at once. I keep telling myself it’s my imagination, but I don’t want to believe that. I want to believe that it’s you and that you’re somehow still here. I’ve thought about getting help for it. As much as I love seeing your face in a crowd, it’s become too much for me.
Your eyes are always so tired with dark bags under them. You never smile - there’s always a faint frown. You seem so unhappy and I so badly want to run across the street and help you, but I can’t. I can never help you again. I’ve failed you and I can never tell you how truly sorry I am. I’m so sorry you’ll never be able to meet our sweet Stella. I’m so sorry that you’re not here to feel her tiny kicks. They’re starting to become more prominent and it feels so real now. She’s real. I still can’t believe we’re going to be parents. I promise that she will grow up to know how amazing her father is. She will never go a day without me talking about you. I promise, Billy. I just miss you so much. I want you home again. I lost my home the day I lost you… So please come back.
Yours Forever,
Y/n
Billy’s face is twisted with tears flooding his eyes. His body is gently shaking as he covers his face with his hand and fights back a loud sob. He should’ve thought all of this through, but he didn’t. Why he didn’t think this would affect you this badly? He’s not sure. All he’s sure about is how he failed you. As a lover and as a friend. And now as a father. He has to make all of this right… And fast. He needs to fix this before he loses you all over again. He owes you at least that much. Before Billy stands up to walk out, there’s a loud bang at the bathroom door.
“Billy, we need to talk to you!” calls out Two.
Billy jumps at her sudden voice as he freezes and looks back down at the letter in his hand. He slowly stands up and wipes away the tears from his face. He takes in a deep breath and steps back out into the hotel room. Everyone’s turned and facing him. He knits his eyebrows all confused as he stops and looks around at them.
“What?” he asks fast.
“We have an idea,” says Two with a slight smile on her face.
“About?” asks Billy, still not understanding.
“About y/n, you idiot!” calls out Three.
One stands up and walks over to Billy with a hard to read expression. He pats him on the shoulder and raises his eyebrows.
“You might want to sit down for this.”
***
You’re still in bed fast asleep with Stella beside you. All was quiet as you snooze away with not a care in the world. You dream of Billy and as it was before he left you. You’re both smiling and laughing as he holds you close to him. Everything seemed so normal and perfect. You were actually happy. He was making you laugh by some cheesy joke he was telling and you never wanted this moment to end… But it did.
Loud banging caused you to flinch awake. Your eyes fly open as your heart races like crazy. You look over to a sleeping Stella and begin to calm down when suddenly more banging it heard. You gasp as you sit up fast and look towards your door. You slip from the covers and very gently tip toe over to it. You hold your breath as you lean forward and look through the peephole. Your heart almost stops as you spot two men dressed in all black. One of them looks down at his watch to check the time. The other moves his jacket slightly and reveals a gun in his waistband. You cover your mouth with your hand just as one of them leans forward and bangs again on the door.
“Shit, shit, shit!” you whisper to yourself.
You automatically go into fight or flight mode. All you can think about in this moment is Stella and making sure to keep her safe. Whoever these guys are, they’re more than likely here because of Billy and everyone else. You rush over to a drawer by your desk and pull out a baby carrier that Billy’s mom had gotten for you. You quickly buckle it around your shoulders and waist as you gently pick up Stella. She whines a bit as you place her inside of it and make sure she’s in securely.
She places her head on your chest as you look around for anything else you might need. Your eyes fall onto a piece of paper on your desk. You quickly remember Two giving you the address for the hotel they’re staying at and their room numbers. You hurry to it and slip it in your pocket. You need to get out of there. You hurry to a window that leads to a set of fire stairs and open it up. The men at the door begin kicking at it brutally. You know it won’t stay closed forever. You hold Stella close to you as you step out into the night and take in a deep breath.
You’ve been doing this kind of thing with Billy for as long as you can remember. All that’s in your way now is that there’s a baby involved. You look down at Stella and nod your head as you begin making your way down to the first floor. Just as you make it safely, you hear your apartments door fling open. You hear deep voices and the sound of glass shattering as you begin running towards the direction of the hotel. Whoever these guys were, you know six people that might know them.
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