#benji rambles

[moth-bells]

ROSSWOOD SPOILERS JAY???? MY MAN??? HAS A PARTNER??? THEY THEM????? Im in love, I know we probably wont get what they look like but I'm drawing someone when Im done with my commissions AND THEYRE SO FUCKED DUDE. ITS JOVER FOR THEM AAAAAA

[moth-bells]

I'm not gonna fully render this, but I have an idea and I need it out so I'm doing a clean sketch for bobbert

[moth-bells]

So, I wanna try something

Build Sun FNAF

Head

Rays

Arms

Legs

Wrist ribbons

Bells

Voting ended onMar 10, 2024

It doesn't matter if I get two votes on this, it'll be hilarious results nonetheless. Reblog for more hilarity and results

[moth-bells]

ROSSWOOD PART 5 SPOILERS

SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCK YOU SHUT UP NO WAY. ALEX. JAY SLIPPING IN HIS BLOOD. ALEX BOOD CURDLING SCREAMS FOR HELP. JAY WANDERING OFF INTO THE DARK SO HOPEFUL. ALEXS FUCKING CORPSE. JAY. ALEX. GOD. OH MY GOD. TROY AND JOSEPH WHEN I GET MY FUCKING HANDS ON YOU /POS

[moth-bells]

IM MAKING FANART WOOO

[moth-bells]

I CANT TAKE IT. I have to share this snippet (wip) before I explode. This one is FOR the brian girlies I love him SO MUCH

[moth-bells]

Do yall think that Chase got to the physical age he did the same way he sacrificed himself? Cause hes *old* and even if he aged a decent amount before he stopped, he'd have to have noticed the changes before he got that far. But we know him and his track record now. I can absolutely imagine him deciding he had to stop, but then he saw someone needed his help, and he told himself 'just one more time' Anyways I'm very normal about Chase.

[moth-bells]

I dont think I can ever call myself a hater of any mh character. Im their number 1 defenders in all equal measure (yes, including alex I will get toxic in how I defend him /lh) Like my thoughts will never have to make sense to anyone im sure, i live in my bubble and I am happy (/silly) Legit, though, I love the mh boys. I love them and how fucked up they all are in their own ways, and how all of them have REASONS to be fucked up. Note, everything I say is mostly headcannon from taking things from the way characters act and what info we do have. And you can tell who my ultimate faves are, I am not ashamed of this skjfd /lh Tim is schizophrenic (potentially, I like to think he is) with severe childhood trauma (I mean he was fucking institutionalized and abandoned by his mother there, I'm sorry but theres no getting out of that mentally intact). He obviously doesnt have an easy time socializing. Brian is his first friend ever (and it seems like they meet in college, since Tim doesnt know Brian's friends). Hes been affected by the operator his whole life, though its easy to write it off as his mental illness and ignore it despite how awful it still is. He can't catch a fucking break, at all, ever. I imagine he probably has abandonment issues from childhood, which has led to not seeking out close friendships or relationships. Thats likely *why* Brian is his first friend, as Brian seems like someone who would happily push until he broke that carefully built-up barrier to keep others out. And once he *finally* has friends, people who care about them? Now theyre all dead and hes left to stand in the wreckage. We know even from his medical records that he is ALREADY suicidal by age 6, WITH a suicide plan and access to said plan when hes admitted. Its not hard to imagine that those suicidal thoughts have followed him his whole life and *after* MH as well. His little 'everything is fine' at the end feels like a lie. Hes lying. Everything is NOT fine, but he doesnt need another Jay Merrick to watch these videos and come looking for him. He doesnt need *more* people dying because of *him*. Because they *met* him.

Brian is just as tragic to me as Tim is. Tim has years of experiencing his anhedonia (which can cause emotional bluntness, or a disconnect of his emotions), and this can make it easier to move on from upsetting events. Brian, on the other hand, does not have any shown or hinted at mental issues before the events in 2006. Hes a well-adjusted guy as far as we can tell. Kind, a little goofy, certainly seems to get along well with others. Hes a GOOD person, who cares about his friends, and hes sticking with them even when he *knows* something is wrong. He trusts Alex so much before he's practically fed to the operator by him. From the START, hes affected by lying. Alex lying to him about where they're going, that everything is fine. And Brian pays the price for trusting him. And I *do* understand Tim never revealed his medical history. Tim has said he doesnt remember what the hallucinations he had as a kid were. Hes a diagnosed schizophrenic man in the 2000s. Mental health was not very well understood and accepted. "But Brian was a psychology major, he'd understand more than anyone!" and I return to the fact that Tim was institutionalized at a young age. This man does not have a good relationship with anyone in that field. Trauma is a reality for him, it just is. But at the same time, Brian is *broken* by what the operator did to him. He is *tired* of being lied to. So when he finds Tim's medical records he is *furious*. We know they have a falling out because Brian has been lied to and lied to and *no one* seems to care! But he doesnt hate Tim. I think after their falling out he *wants* to hate Tim. I mean he takes his meds, to *purposely* cause a seizure. He forces it to happen, sits and watches from the closest as his best friend shakes and seizes on the floor and then *sobs* after he comes out of it. He does this with little care to Tim's well being. He doesnt care right now, because its an means to an end. But he cant hate Tim. No matter what, he cant make himself hate Tim. He, as mentioned above, *CAN* understand mental health issues more than anyone in their friend group could have. He'd understand, no matter how much he wants to make himself ignore it, that Tim lied to keep himself from losing his only friends ever. Even though he wants to hate Tim, he just cant. Hes upset with him, but even towards the end that's almost faded. He *is* manipulating Tim somewhat, using his meds as a means to get Tim on his side, but Brian is *not* okay mentally. He thinks in code and binary and hes *not* well. In his mind, the only way to get Tim close enough to even *try* and explain things to him is to *make* him. I really think after Brian left his last message, his name in the code, he KNEW Tim would never have cared to decode it. Tim isn't Jay. He doesn't care about any of this. He has no reason to. Jay was obsessive to find answers and Tim wants it to end no matter what. I mean Brian knows Tim doesnt trust him and has NO reason to. Tim is convinced that Brian got Jay killed. Even if Brian didnt do it intentionally he *did* lead Jay to his death by letting him go. I'm sure he did so to keep Alex from coming and killing Jay while he was vulnerable. But, we know how that ends. And Tim is off his meds. He sees a murderer and he isnt gonna care what that murderer says, so Brian bribes him with his medication. And even to the end, he doesnt want to hurt Tim, so he jumps. (rant being continued in next reblog trust i maxed out tumblrs character count....sorry........./silly)