#benji talks

[kimkhimhant]

i like my job because the people (coworkers and regulars) are great and also because i get free food but also. I do not want to go to work today because i am in pain and standing on concrete floors makes that pain 10x worse yayyyyy

[benjamindisco]

Watched Sinners. Sobbed uncontrollably.

[kimkhimhant]

every time i ask a doctor what im supposed to do when i'm in a 9/10-10/10 pain flare up they look at me like im speaking tongues and then are like. anyway. i think you should keep trying to exercise more consistently. i've got another antidepressant i can prescribe that's proven to help chronic pain. the side effects are all of the symptoms you already have that are debilitating and disabling. and im like okay i tried the first one but guess i'll try this one too but if the side effects are bad im stopping. anyway. what am i supposed to do when I'm actively in 9/10-10/10 excruciating pain? and again it's like i haven't spoken at all

[kimkhimhant]

had an appointment with a new dr today. I brought my dad's partner with me — usually go to medical appointments alone but have been feeling too burnt out and ignored and felt like i needed an advocate. dr was an hour late (morning appointment!!). but having someone with me did make a difference. still not really enough of one but we'll see

[kimkhimhant]

i will not reblog the fandom discourse post. i will take a deep breath and say to myself "hey! this has no bearing on your actual life" and scroll past

[kimkhimhant]

regardless of my own personal thoughts on AA as an organization & ideology, being told by a friend who you've spent the past year worrying about that they're a week & a half sober and have been going to meetings is genuinely one a the best feelings ever

[kimkhimhant]

its so funny the more time passes the more i love aftg and all the non-main characters. like a decade ago when i first read the books i was soooo obsessed with neil but pretty indifferent about some of the side characters but every reread i become more insane about everyone else

[kimkhimhant]

i hateeeeee the fandom consensus that katelyn is "fem-neil" like godd can we please pretty please just let her be her own character like. she is good as is, you know? she is a cheerleader who loves her recovered-addict pre-med boyfriend. she loves him enough to stay with him when andrew threatens them and she loves him enough to stay with him when he's on the stand for murder. she doesn't need to be "just like neil but a girl" to be an interesting character. she doesn't need to be "girl version of neil" for the dynamic between her and aaron + neil and andrew to be simultaneously interesting dynamics