nothing you can do about it, keep on dancing
runs in the family, amanda palmer / red hot and holy, sarah and the safe word / poplar st, glass animals / pinterest x2 / poplar st, glass animals / loving parasite, that handsome devil / pinterest / adapt, that handsome devil / catherynne m. valente / pinterest / (couldnt find source) / gooey, glass animals / JDNT, glass animals / pinterest x2 / prolly, mcafferty
story2 intro! kind of long and more of a plot summary, but i already have it written soooo
heavyyy warning for discussion of child abuse and grooming. a suicide attempt and alcoholism are also mentioned
-bennett, cherri, gabrielle, and edgar in that order (awww ❤️)
cherri montgomery is a freshman in highschool. she's always been lonely, not exactly shunned or isolated, but she doesn't really have any close friends and has trouble connecting with her peers. she turns to music-making and songwriting as a way to cope and do something with her feelings. this quickly turns into her developing a popstar fantasy, she dreams about becoming her town's smash-hit sensation to make up for how lonely she feels in real life. everybody loves a teen idol. she spends more time in this idealized fantasy than she does focusing on reality, she sort of views it as the only way anybody will ever love her, she can't imagine anybody liking her as she is now. eventually, she starts performing some songs around town (mostly on street corners and outside of buildings) and advertising herself. she spends almost every day working on songs at the library and trying to get people to listen. after a bit, one of the librarian's assistants, bennett novak, notices her.
bennett is in his late thirties, he floats around the outside of the music industry and picked up a job at the library in-between music work to make ends meet. he originally wanted to make and perform his own music, but he lost hope for that dream and settled for producing and distribution.
bennett had a severely harmful and abusive childhood. when he was young, his father left with, what his mother said was, little to no reason or warning. his father couldn't deal with his mother's dependence and emotional unpredictability anymore. she couldn't handle him leaving and needed somebody to fill the role he played, she slowly started relying on bennett more and more. at first it was only for emotional stability and comfort, she would rely on him to console her and to manage her emotions, it exhausted him and he didn't know how to deal with it but he loved his mother and wanted to help her. she told him that he was all she had left and it'd kill her if he left. it didn't take long for her to start asking for more from him. things bennett hadn't known about before and things that scared him, but he pushed it down and tried his best. he wanted to be there for her and do the best he could for her but he felt sick every time he thought about it and he couldn't bear to leave his room most of the time. he knew if he did she would ask for more.
he never really healed from this and grew up thinking it was fine, just the way things are sometimes. she needed him and he could manage it just fine. he tries his best to push it down and just not think about it, he turns to alcohol to clear his mind, it's easier to ignore when he can't think.
back to present, he notices cherri at the library. he's seen her perform around town. he approaches her one day, he doesn't know exactly why, maybe he sees part of himself in her. he starts teaching cherri more about music and helps her get her foot in the door of the industry. they talk more and get quickly closer, bennett starts telling her that he really sees potential in her, she's so much smarter and more mature than other girls. cherri obsesses over and clings to him and his praise, this is the first time she's felt actually seen and appreciated, loved.
it starts 'happy' for both of them, cherri feels really loved for the first time, bennett finally has somebody to lean on. but the relationship quickly becomes overbearing. bennett relies on cherri, he needs her. part of him knows he's becoming his mother and it makes him sick, but the other part can't live without somebody to take care of him. somebody to play the role his mother didn't. he never learned how to deal with himself, having somebody else to do that for him and to clean the blood off of him and to tell him 'i love you anyway, its okay' and to pick up when he calls drunk late at night, he doesn't know how he'd live without it. he figures if his mom did the same then it's fine if he does it. he just needs cherri the same way she needed him, right? it doesn't hurt anybody. he turned out fine. cherri can tell she's slipping, she spends almost all of her time working on music or talking to bennett. she tells herself it's fine, becoming a star takes hard work, and she loves bennett! she would hate for him to suffer just because she didn't do enough or wasn't in the mood.
gabrielle caldeira is a freshman as well, she goes to the same school as cherri and has since childhood. she's wanted to be cherri's friend for a while, but never knew how to approach or how to talk to her without coming off weird. she becomes a big fan of cherri's music, she starts idolizing cherri and wanting to be closer to her / be more like her. they do eventually become friends! they enjoy eachothers company alot and gradually become very close. cherri views gabrielle's friendship as solely because of her career, like gabrielle only likes her and gave her a chance because of her music. she's alright with that though, at least gabrielle likes her at all.
gabrielle quickly notices something's up with cherri. she always seems worried and tired, she mentions her boyfriend alot but doesn't really elaborate much. eventually, gabrielle asks her more about him and cherri trusts her enough to tell. gabrielle is immediately worried and horrified. she doesn't say anything at first, she knows it's wrong and she needs to do something about it, but she doesn't know what she can do. if she even can do anything. she cares about cherri so insanely much and feels like she HAS to help but there's no way she can that wouldn't either ruin the friendship or hurt cherri. she's stuck in inaction and it terrifies her.
months pass. cherri isn't a huge celebrity but she definitely has a considerable fanbase, especially online. it's not what she hoped it was. people love her, undoubtably, but none of it feels real enough. the praise feels good in the moment but she keeps on coming back for more, it's never filling enough. the only person she feels actually cares is bennett. she keeps putting everything she has into taking care of him, she stomachs any discomfort or exhaustion for his sake.
one night bennett gets too drunk, too risky, at the bar. he gets in either a bad barfight OR some type of car accident (undecided right now) and doesn't make it back out. his death hits cherri HEAVY. at this point bennett was almost the only thing cherri felt mattered, she devoted so much of herself to him that she doesn't know what to do without him. she can't see herself getting better or being loved like that ever again. she doesn't want to be alone. she texts gabrielle and takes a bottle of pills, gabrielle instantly knows something is wrong and tells her dad because she doesn't know what else she could do. he calls emergency services and cherri does end up surviving. at the hospital, a service worker talks to her about it and she spills everything, how much bennett mattered to her and how she doesn't know if she'll be able to live without him, knowing despite how much effort she put in she still couldn't save him.
she takes a long path of recovery, she doesn't want to at first and just wants to give up but she has a strong support system, even if she can't see it at first people do care about her and want her to get better. gabrielle and her dad, edgar caldeira, are alot of the reason she didn't fall back into the cycle. they both genuinely care and try their best to show it. edgar's the first adult in her life to support her like this and it gives her real hope. her experience still heavily affects her, but she gets better and learns to be happy and to be her own person again. she stops making music as much, she still does write but it's for her instead of an idealized audience.
on some subconscious level bennett hates his mother. despite how hes been conditioned and trained into believing there was nothing wrong with their relationship, a part of him still resents her, an instinctual part of him knows that there was something sickeningly wrong. he doesnt know what 'right' would be but he knows it shouldve been different. he knows his friends never mentioned times when their mothers made them comfort her before they could even understand what she was upset about, when they had to sleep in her room to 'ease her worries', when they had to hide under their bed even through hunger because they couldnt face her today. he doesnt understand what happened or what she did to him but he can never get the shame and disgust out of his head. he never lets himself be alone with his thoughts for too long because they always turn back to his childhood. he buries any real thought with alcohol and trying to convince himself that it was normal, if he didnt want it then he wouldve stopped it, his mother needed someone and he was the only one who could help, thats just how its supposed to be
